Life Debts
by Jinnis8
Summary: Katniss Everdeen, victor of the 70th Hunger Games, volunteers to go back into the arena in place her sister 4 years later. Being a tribute again is hard enough without the male tribute being Peeta Mellark, to whom Katniss owes her life.
1. Chapter 1

Life Debts

Chapter 1

I try not to think about the day ahead as I braid my hair back and stuff my feet into my hunting shoes. Cinna has sent some clothes for me to wear to the reaping today but I forgo them until the last possible minute. They feel like funeral clothes. Two more children will be given a death sentence this year. No matter who wins or dies in the arena, there are no winners. Haymitch and I both got the raw end of the deal when it comes to surviving. For the Tributes who die, the torture ends. Those of us who win the Games… we are perpetual players that are never left alone.

The day of my reaping Haymitch saw me throw a knife at him on the train and he knew I had potential to win. I told Haymitch to be straight with me about the Games and to not hold back. According to Haymitch, the biggest joke about the Hunger Games is that there is no victor. The 24 children who are reaped have a chance at becoming a Victor but then they are forced to mentor, for the rest of their lives, the new Tributes who will likely die. This is why Haymitch has turned to liquor. Each Victor finds a way to deal with the aftermath of survival. The lives we have taken in the arena and the deaths of the Tributes they have mentored continuously haunt the thoughts and dreams of us Victors.

My name had been selected four years ago out of all the girls of District 12. I was only somewhat surprised. My name had been entered plenty times to make the odds unlikely. It was the only way to get food, signing up for the tesserae.

When my father died, I was 8 years old. My mother shut down. She was a non-functioning for nearly a year. I had no choice but to step up and take over as the head of the household. I rationed out what little food we had. When the food ran out, we nearly starved to death. I was selling our possessions left and right but there was no one to buy. We hadn't eaten anything in two days when I realized that I could scavenge the garbage bins of the merchant's homes for leftover foods. I was coming up empty handed but refused to go home and see my mother and younger sister Prim, their faces hollow with hunger. That's when it happened. The baker's wife came out the back door, screaming at me. I was just an 8 year-old-girl looking for a scrap of food but she had no compassion for me. I could see a boy behind her in the doorway of the bakery, his hands lingering on a batch of dough that he had been kneading. I backed away, weak from hunger, and stumbled to the ground. I was too weak to get back up so I crawled to a nearby tree that was out of the baker's wife's sight.

I rarely ever cry, even then, but that day would have been an exception if I hadn't been dehydrated. The thought of failing my mother and Prim was more than I could take. I was desperate to find a way to give them something to eat but was out of resources. I heard the baker's wife start up again, the sound muted by the closed back door. I heard the horrible sound of something being struck. It was the sound of metal on skin. I gathered that someone had burned something in the over. I felt sorry for whomever it was that the baker's wife had hit. She had never been a nice person. My father always seems to pity the baker because his wife was such a difficult person to get along with. Any time we ever traded the game that my father hunted, it was always to the baker's wife and the trades were never in our favor. I once asked my father why we couldn't simply deal to the baker when his wife wasn't around but he simply shook his head and never answered.

I heard the back door open and the harpy's voice blasted out of the confines of the shop. I was so weak I didn't even raise my head to see what was going on. I saw out the corner of my eye the shuffling of a pair of shoes near me. It was Peeta Mellark, the youngest of the baker's three sons. Peeta was in my year at school but I did not know him personally. He was always surrounded by a group of friends, laughing cheerfully. I saw that his eye was already swelling shut and I watched him tear off the blacked scorch marks on the two loaves of bread that he had burned. He tossed the black parts into the pig pen near where I was slumped against the tree. Without looking at me, he tossed the two loaves onto the ground near me. One of them rolled next to me. Startled, I looked up. Peeta was staring out at something in the distance. It looked as though he wanted to say something but he must have changed his mind. He simply turned and walked away. I gathered the food and took off for home, half stumbling and half walking. The idea of food for Prim and Mother was renewing. Had Peeta burned the bread on purpose? I had a feeling that he had felt sorry for me. I hated being pitied but since it would keep Prim from dying I was willing to do whatever I could.

The next day at school I waited until the end of the day to catch Peeta alone. It was a difficult task because he was so friendly that people were always swarmed around him, unlike me. People avoided me and my scowl. I opened my mouth, prepared to tell him thank you and to apologize for the huge black eye that was there because of me but the words wouldn't come. He looked at me and shrugged his shoulders. It was as though he knew what I had been trying to say and was shrugging to tell me that he thought nothing of his actions. I looked down, embarrassed that I couldn't even find the words to thank the boy with the bread who had saved three people's lives with his act of kindness. I was ashamed that I could even say "Thank you" to a boy who took a beating for me. I saw a dandelion in the ground and remembered what my father said about them being edible. I suddenly knew what I could do to keep my family alive. I picked the flower and handed it to Peeta. His brow creased as he accepted my gift, confused by my actions. I smiled at him. The first genuine smile I had smiled in a year. He smiled back as I walked away.

After that day I began hunting. I had been taught well by my father in the ways of hunting but I had also been trained to never go under the fence surrounding District 12 without him. Now, I thought of what he would think if he knew I was doing this two times a day sometimes. When faced with the idea of being executed for poaching off the Capitol's land or starving I chose to risk hunting. I have never regretted my actions.

It was difficult, hunting. I struggled at first. A eight year old hunting to feed three people was a constant strain. We managed to survive. We were always hungry and we were always unsatisfied but we ate enough every other day to get by those first few years after my father died.

I met Gale in the woods when I was ten. He had lost his father in the same coal mining accident I had lost mine in. He, too, had realized that he could feed his family by hunting in the woods. After we crossed paths enough, we teamed up and began doing a lot better. We began trading and splitting the profits as was fair. He had three siblings and a mother to feed while I only had two extra mouths. Gale was three years older than I was and we both knew that our futures were not bright. Gale because he would always have to help his mother to feed his two brothers and one sister. Me because my mother had shut down and I was the only one working to feed her and Prim. As soon as we had been able to, Gale and I both signed up for the tesserae as many times as necessary to put food on the table. This is the reason I was only mildly shocked rather than in denial when my name was chosen at my first reaping. I was twelve years old and my name had been put in for the reaping 13 times already. Gale at 15 had his name in 30 times. I knew I would be reaped eventually since the number of times your name gets put in doubles every year and I had taken tesserae out 12 times to earn enough food for my family plus the one automatic entry that went in as soon as I turned 12. I just thought it would be when I was older. At twelve there was no way I could be considered a contender in the games when there were others who were 18 and huge.

When Haymitch, the only victor alive from our district, recognized that I had potential, he warned me that winning was the wrong path. He told me I'd be better off finding a decent way to die in the arena but I had promised Prim I would come home. Nothing could be worse than the thought of Prim starving to death after I was gone. Gale had promised to take care of my family if I was reaped in the same way I had promised to help his. There was only so much one person could do for 7 people. If I won, at least Prim would be able to live and have a life. That is why I am where I am today. Haymitch, who had turned to liquor in the days following his own victory, stayed sober long enough to coach me through mine. The other contestants were so much bigger and older than I was that no one paid me any attention. I was a plain-looking girl from the Seam in the worst district of all Panem. I had a stylist who was able to keep me looking attractive enough but at 12 there's only so much he could do for me. My costumes were by far better than all of the other tributes'. The sponsors want a tribute who will guarantee a good show, though. Not some girl who looks like she would be the first to die in the bloodbath at the Cornucopia. That was part of Haymitch's strategy, though. District 12 had been such a laughing stock that playing meek was easy. I was quiet and scornful during my interview and I knew that I would be getting no sponsors. Haymitch promised that as soon as I made it to the final 8, the offers would come rolling in. I had a talent that no one could have guessed: I could hunt. Many of the career tributes had been raised for slaughter, thinking that the games were a great honor. The rest of the tributes are horror-struck at having been reaped and have little skills at all.

During my games I was faster than all the other tributes. I was able to secure a bow and sheath of arrows before I disappeared into the forest. I picked a tree near the edge and scaled it. I picked off the career tributes first. I got them all but one. They were so preoccupied with killing the tributes who they thought were a threat that they paid me no attention until my arrow pierced their hearts. I made Hunger Games history. That first day I killed 8 tributes by myself; a record killing for any single person to achieve in all 70 years of the Games. I was able to survive by hunting and gathering. Rouge, the only remaining career tribute, had a stash of food that he had booby trapped. By the time there was just 8 of us left, I blew up the food he had, forcing him to speed up his hunting of the other tributes seeing as there was no food and no sponsors left for him, having lost all his sponsors to me on the first day. Rouge managed to stay alive off of the food he gleaned from the other tributes that he hunted while I stayed in the trees.

He was a very tall Tribute. He must have been fed with a specific diet since he was born to achieve such body mass. During the feast that the Gamemakers created hoping to draw us in to battle, he received full body armor. With no way for him to be pierced by my arrows, he began to hunt me. I had taken to the ground, knowing that he would be looking for me in the trees. I shot him through the neck when he exposed it by looking up into the trees and became the youngest Victor for 52 years.

The four years that followed were torturous. I had money and a nice house but, like all victors, I was haunted. I saved back as much money as I could to keep my family safe should they ever lose me again and helped spread the rest around my district. I was certain to buy from all the merchants and the Hobb, where I used to trade my game. District 12 now flourishes with my strategy. People are happier and times aren't as hard as they have been.

None of this can erase the hardship of being a Victor. I hardly ever sleep and I hardly ever smile. Not only do the deaths of those whom I killed in the arena haunt me, but also the deaths of the children I have mentored. I have mentored three years and all three years the tributes have died. I live every day like a funeral day. Today, however, is the worst of them all. I will know the names of the people I will be killing this year. Not only will I kill someone, but Prim will have her name entered into the reaping as she is now 12. Gale, who has continued to stick by me, has his name entered in 90 times and the odds aren't good. This will be his last year and so my every hope is that he can scrape by one more year. Of course, then his younger brother Rory will turn 12 and will be entered into the reaping pile and I'll have a new person to worry about in addition to Prim.

I walk into town and see that it's ghost-like. Most people sleep in on Reaping Day. No one has school or work so there is no traffic on the streets. I decide to distract myself by going into the woods. This is my escape. I feel free in the trees with the smell of pines all around me. The bow my father made me feels smooth in my hand as I sit on a tree branch, watching for game to pass by. After about an hour I notice a sound about 100 yards to my right and I am still. I see no movement. I can feel my hunter's senses kick into high gear. I am still searching for the cause of the noise when I sense something behind me and slowly turn around with as minimal movement as possible, bow loaded. When I finally inch around enough to see what had peaked my senses, I lower my bow, a slight smile on my face that probably looks more like a scowl. Gale is there, leaning against a tree, bow slung over his broad shoulder and three rabbits hanging from his belt. Gale is always testing my prowess as a hunter. He tries to sneak up on me but I always know when he's near.

"Catnip, Happy Reaping Day," he says to me as he finds a tree branch near mine that is strong enough to hold his weight. He hoists himself up starts scanning the woods to see the hunting potential. I nod to him but I don't feel like talking. My throat feels like it's full of chalk and I have no idea what I can say that will sound strong.

Gale is used to this quieter me. Ever since I came back from the arena I've been more reserved. I can see that he misses the old Katniss and that he wishes I would snap out of it. I can see the hurt in his eyes every time he receives my silence as a response to one of his rants about the Capitol. In the pre-Hunger Games Days, I would listen to him as he complained about the work condition in District 12 and I would join in now and then and help make him feel better but now that I am a Victor I know that nothing I saw will make our lives easier and so I say nothing. He is a good friend and he continues to use our old jokes and games as if I were the same. I have thought about speaking to him about the things that bother me but he wouldn't understand. There is no way that I could ever feel right about dumping it all on him, anyway. It is this that has caused the barrier between us.

When I think of Gale, I think of home. I am never more comfortable than the times in which Gale and I are in the woods together. There was a time when I thought of Gale as more than a friend but since then I have come to understand in more depth what happens to those who fall in love and get married. I have seen it firsthand. One of dies first and the other can't live. The children are an unnecessary complication that only causes worry for the first 18 years until the reapings are over. I don't want to be married and so I know this barrier is for the best. Without it, Gale and I might've admitted the feelings between us. I can't deny there are feelings but I refuse to act on them.

It's not fair to Gale for me to keep him for myself when I don't intend to marry him. Many of the girls at school are interested in him and it would only be right to let Gale have a normal life, something I cannot provide no matter how long I live. I'm not an expert on feelings since I am not that kind of girl. I am the type of girl who has dirt from the hunt underneath her fingernails. I am the girl who thinks practically. I am the girl who needs no one. The other girls are the kind to discuss the good-looking boys that are available and the color of the dress they wish they could afford. Gale deserved one of them. Someone who was willing to marry him and give him children. Gale should have a girl who does not wake up screaming in terror every night.

We sit in the trees and scan for food opportunities and due to our silence we are able to shoot a wild turkey, three squirrels and two more rabbits. On our way back, we come across a bunch of berries that I pick a gallon of, leaving the rest for Gale to pick tomorrow when I am on the train to the Capitol to mentor another Games.

At the Hobb we trade the turkey, and rabbits but I save the squirrel for the baker. The baker is very fond of squirrel and always trades me more than I trade him but I, unlike my father, refuse to deal with the baker's wife so I wait outside the back door until I am sure that she is at the front with a customer before I knock. The door opens a moment later and the baker appears. He sees the three squirrels that I have and offers me a smile. He takes the squirrels from me.

"A fine shot as always," he says. "I'll get your trade. Just a moment."

Gale kicks a rock that was near his foot and draws in the dirt with his toe. I can see into the bakery from the inch-wide opening of the door that the baker left gapped. Even though the coal mines are closed and so are the other merchants, the baker always works on Reaping Day because people need food for the Reaping feast that will occur for the families whose children are not chosen. Business lost is not something his wife allows. The door creaks open again and a bag is placed into my hands. I don't check to see what he has offered in trade. I never do. I do my best to keep on good terms with everyone that I trade with just in case. Besides, I am trying to ensure that the businesses do well to keep the District well fed.

I swallow and say, "Good luck," before I turn and leave, Gale following me. I don't look to see his face because I know that he will be just as worried about who will be chosen today. He has two sons that will have their name entered into the reaping.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I take my place in front of the crowds who are forced by law to gather in the square to watch the Reaping. To my left an empty seat remains while Haymitch is missing. Effie Trinket, District 12's escort from the Capitol stands up and approaches the microphone.

"Welcome, Welcome! Happy Hunger Games! May the odds be _ever_ in your favor."

The accent the people from the Capitol have is ridiculous.

Effie announces Mayor Undersee who stands and gives the same boring speech that he gives every year about how Panem rose out of the ashes of a place once called North America. He talks about how the Districts tried to rebel against the Capitol 74 years ago which brought on the Dark Days. Because of the rebellion, the Hunger Games were born to show the Districts that the Capitol is supreme. He details the rules of how the games work but no one is listening. They are too nervous. Everyone here has heard the rules a million times. One boy and one girl will be chosen. Each tribute will be reaped from the ages of 12 through 18. After the Reaping your 18th year you work in the coal mines and are no longer available for reaping. As a tribute you will be used for the Capitol's entertainment until the time comes to be placed in the arena where you will fight the other 23 tributes to the death. The Victor will earn a new house and money for the rest of their life.

When the mayor finishes, Effie steps back up and I can see many parents clutching each other tightly, fearing for their children more than ever now that the time has come for another reaping. I refuse to ever be that person. I don't understand why anyone would ever marry and produce children when they know they will probably be murdered.

Effie reaches her hands into the bowl after saying, "Ladies first!"

I hold my breath as I wait to find out who the unlucky girl is.

"Primrose Everdeen!" I hear. Effie's voice seems to be less enthusiastic than usual. It echoes around the square but to me it's like there is cotton in my ears. I see Prim, moving slowing forward to the front and it's like I'm watching myself four years ago. Prim's head is held as high as she can but I see the tremble in her chin and the moisture in her eye that she is fighting to hold back. I am choked by the thought of my sister, little Prim who tried to heal the squirrels I shot for dinner, in the arena running from the careers to keep from dying. The thought is too much.

I'm on my feet and I'm rushing to the edge of the stage.

"I volunteer! I volunteer as tribute!" I hear myself yelling frantically. Prim starts to scream and is now running to the stage. I am not sure whether her goal is to hug me goodbye or to beat me to the place where the tribute is to stand but either way, Gale steps out of line from the front of the boys section and hauls her over his shoulder and takes her, kicking and screaming, to the very back where my mother stands. Mother is no way capable of holding Prim back and it's clear from even from here that she is in too much shock to notice Prim's panic.

Beside me I vaguely register Mayor Undersee and Effie discussing the proper way to volunteer and also whether it's against the rules for a Victor to volunteer. It's well-known that once a Victor, always a Victor but there's nothing in the rules about volunteering to go back in the arena only that your name is never entered into the Reaping. I am just barely 16 and am therefore in the age requirement set forth by the Capitol. So far they can find nothing to prohibit me from volunteering.

I see Gale is still struggling with Prim and I watch as he hands her to Rooba, the butcher, who is standing next to my mother and is strong enough to hold Prim back. She also knows me well enough to do me that favor.

After Effie and Mayor Undersee rule to allow me to volunteer since there is no rule against it, Effie tries to get the crowd to applaud me based on the courage it took to voluntarily go back to the arena when I have been guaranteed immunity for life. No one, to the credit of the people of District 12, claps. Who would applaud one sister dying for the other?

I am taking steady breaths as Effie makes some more tactless remarks about courage before she reaches for the boys bowl. I hold my breath again because there's only one thing that can make this situation worse: pulling out Gale's name. Us fighting to the death is something I don't allow myself to think. Gale needs to not be chosen because who would feed our families if we both died in the arena? As Effie calls out the name I realize that I am wrong. There is one other name that has the potential to make the situation far worse. I know this because the name Effie has chosen is Peeta Mellark and I owe him my life.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The goodbyes this time are even worse than when I was 12. In the 70th Hunger Game, I was so young and small that no one had any hope that I could withstand the careers and so there was never any worry of disappointment. My visitors all seem to have confidence in me. It makes this harder. How do you tell someone who loves you and is counting on you to return that there is a good chance you will die? I am needed to help keep Prim and Mother but I am no longer their only means of survival any more. If I were to die, they have a stash of coins and Gale. More than that, they have each other. Prim is now old enough for tesserae but this is a thought I do not wish to think about now. I am volunteering my life to keep her from being a part of the Hunger Games. Thinking about how it could all be for nothing, for her to be reaped again, makes me sick so I push the thought away.

My mother and Prim are the first to visit me. I whisper in Prim's ear where she can find the coins that I have hidden around the District. I whisper because I do not trust the room not to be bugged. She nods in understanding but I know that her mind is in too much denial to believe that she'll ever need that knowledge. I tell mother to take care of Prim. She huffs as if I am telling her to do something that she always does. I bite my tongue and say nothing. I do not wish to leave her with guilt.

When the Peacekeepers announce our time is up, they have to haul Prim away, kicking and screaming again as Gale had to do in the reaping. I feel a pang of remorse. How can die when Prim loves me that much? The last time I see her beautiful face and she has tears pouring down her rosy cheeks,

The next person to see me is Gale. We say nothing for a moment. Finally he breaks the silence.

"When you get back, where will that leave us _this_ time?"

The last thought on my mind has been a relationship. Now that Gale brings it up, I understand more fully how much he has been hurt by the change in me these past few years. It's not as though I could have done anything about it.

"Gale….I don't…want kids." I say, slowly, with deliberation.

His brow creases together. "What does kids have to do with anything? I just wonder whether you're fighting to come back to _me_ this time."

I swallow. "I owe Peeta my life, Gale. I'm not sure if I can come back. And if I did, you deserve someone who you can marry and have kids with."

He starts. This is not the reply he was expecting. "You make no sense. You don't want kids with me? You owe Mellark your life? What are you saying this for?" His eyes search mine, looking for a hint of my true thoughts.

"I owe him the lives of my entire family."

Abruptly, Gales rises to his feet and paces to the opposite wall. His hand is clenched and he leans on the wall there.

"I meant to take Prim's place to save her from the arena but then when his name was called….If it comes down to him and I, I won't be coming home. Not when I owe him my life."

"Whatever silly notion you have about owing Mellark your life is not worth throwing away the future of everyone you love," Gale hisses to the wall, furious. I am unsure if he is mad at the resolve he hears in my voice or at the situation.

"You're from the Seam, Gale. You know how it is to be indebted to someone."

Gale whips around and crosses the room in three strides. He wraps his hands around my upper arms and hauls me to my feet. "It's not an even trade, Katniss!" he spits out. "Whatever the kid did for you is not worth laying your life down. Make it even to him by taking care of his family when you return!"

I think quickly trying to find a way to give Gale some closure before he is forced to leave.

I sigh, "I can't offer you more than what I am right now, Gale. If I do come home, I will be even less than I am now. I can't give you a family. What future do you see for us? I never want to be that parent who has to watch their child be reaped. I don't want that fear. You should have someone who can give you what you want."

"Then we'll never have kids!" Gale insists. He is pulling me closer to him in his urgency to make me see his way. "We'll be together, taking care of our families and we'll be happy. We never have to have kids. What do I care? I just need you to return. If you can just come back to me then we can worry about what is left of you then. I swear I'll spend every second of my life putting you back together and helping you get through it but you have to come back! We could go live in the woods for all I care!"

The Peacekeeper is now at the door telling Gale to leave. Gale gives me one long look before he suddenly wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me to him and kisses me. I am familiar with the look of his body but not the feel. Six years of knowing him and this was entirely new ground. I can feel the hard layers of muscles, can smell the scent of pine and woods. The calluses on his hands are rough through the fabric of my dress. His lips release mine before I can decide to kiss him back and his nose presses into my hair and I feel his breath on my neck.

"Come back to me, please?" Gale begs in a whisper. His eyes meet mine before the Peacekeeper tugs him away. I can't find the words to say anything to him at all and he is gone with no closure or promises from me.

I sink down into the couch and rest my head between my knees. I can't afford to cry. The entire nation is looking at me, a Victor, and expecting huge things this Game. I can't be upset when the cameras find me after I leave the Justice Building.

The door creaks open and the baker walks in. I make a startled sound and he pauses, considering whether to leave me alone or not. I give a weak smile that takes too much of my effort. I am the one going to the Capitol to be slaughtered and I am here, trying to make things easier on other people. Smiling and reassuring people is not my game

I watch as he takes a seat across from me in silence. He opens his mouth and closes it. Another awkward moment like this passes and he finally speaks.

"I won't let her starve."

I nod my head acknowledging that I know he means Prim and swallow. "Thank you," I say. "I will help Peeta as much as I can."

The baker raises his eyebrows in confusion. I see him work through the implications of what I have just promised. He knows as well as I do that only one of us can survive and there are 22 other Tributes from the other Districts all fighting us for it. Alliances aren't well known outside the Career Districts.

"I owe your son the lives my whole family. I can't let that go unacknowledged. I'll do what I need to do to repay that debt. I'm as good as dead, anyway. Every tribute will be gunning for me. Might as well get Peeta through as much as he can"

"You are a survivor. You are capable of making it. My son…he hasn't near the skills you have. You should make sure that you take care of yourself."

I hear the words he wasn't willing to admit aloud. Peeta hasn't a chance of winning due to a lack of skill. It doesn't sound harsh. The baker simply sounds like he is being regretfully truthful.

"I will make sure that he comes home," I hear myself promise.

A moment of silence stretches between us. The baker says nothing because he is most likely mulling over the idea of his son having help in the arena. I am silent because I am very conflicted over what I have been resolving to do. I needed to come home to Prim…my mother…to Gale. Being a Victor was hardly any fun but I valued my life as much as any person. I take my debts seriously, though. Now that I have been presented with a way to pay Peeta back, I cannot just let the opportunity slip by. I cannot live with myself know that I was the type of person who would fight for her own life and ignore a life debt. If Peeta had not been reaped then I would have thought nothing of possibly dying without repaying my debt. But now that I've acknowledged that I owe him, I cannot let it slide.

The Peacekeeper comes and announces the time is up. The baker stands and looks at me. It takes me a moment to find the courage to meet his eye.

"No one will blame you for doing what you have to do in the arena. It's an unfair Game and you have to take care of yourself. Whatever Peeta did that makes you feel that you owe him your life, well, he would never want you to pay him back in that way. Find another way to repay him, please?"

He doesn't stick around for an answer. The Peacekeeper doesn't need to escort him out as they did Gale. I puzzle over the hidden meaning in his words.

"_Whatever Peeta did that makes you feel that you owe him your life, well, he would never want you to pay him back in that way. Find another way…"_

I am still thinking of this when Madge, Mayor Undersee's daughter, comes in. I usually keep to myself at school and so does Madge. Eventually we both noticed this and began being alone together. She is a lot like me and also doesn't like to talk about trivial things. We sit in silence together until time is nearly up. She hands me a gold pin with a Mockingjay on it. It is a token for District 12, she says. I am to wear it in the arena. I agree and let her pin it to the collar of my dress. We say nothing as the Peacekeeper escorts her out of the room.

I stand up, knowing from experience that this is all the visitors I will have and that time is up. I walk to where the car is waiting without the Peacekeeper having to inform me of where to go. When I get to the car I see Peeta is already there and he has been crying. I say nothing. The trip to the train is a short one. Peeta has never been in a car before, I am sure, so I say nothing to him so that he can gather himself and look around at the strange transportation. As we board the train, the cameras are going crazy. A Victor as a Volunteer Tribute is another first for the Hunger Games and I know that my every move will be watched.

As soon as we are safe in the train, I turn to Peeta.

"We need to strategize."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Peeta seems surprised but I think it might just be because we've never really talked before. I wave him to follow me and I make my way through the train to the TV room where Effie has stocked the tapes of every Hunger Games, all 73 of them. I never want to watch them. The Games are bad enough without ever having to relive it but now I find myself eyeing them as they might help us survive. I sit down on the couch and Peeta sits down on the other end, in a bit of a daze.

"Allies?" Peeta says?

How quickly this boy seems to catch on to my train of thought.

"Allies," I agree. I have never taken an ally before and the feeling is strange. The Games were designed for individuals to fight because there can only be one winner. Being an ally means that one ally will eventually have to kill the other or watch them be killed.

"You know what I can do. You and all of the other tributes have seen my Game. This is going to put me at a disadvantage. Every career and then some of the other Tributes will be after me. They will be working together to be sure that the bow and arrow is kept away from me at the very least. Most likely, they will try to kill me first since they will see me as the biggest threat."

Peeta nods his head. I remember how that, by this point four years ago, I was in my train compartment having a 12 year old temper-tantrum, refusing to accept that I was about to be slaughtered. Peeta seems to be handling this well. Somehow I know that it's not just his age that is helping him deal.

"Then we should keep our alliance a secret. If I am able to get the bow and arrow, we can meet up later. If they think there is a chance that I will team up with you, they'll never let me near it and they will kill me before I can help you kill them." Peeta says. I can see his mind making calculations.

"When the cameras are on us, and they will be all the time no thanks to me, we need to dislike one another." I see him looking at the plush carpet on the floor. "We'll need to act all the time. If we hate each other too much, they may catch on that it's an act."

Peeta looks up. "So the Games have already begun?" I hear no hint of a complaint, just certainty. I nod my head not trusting my words to reply to him.

Effie bustles into the train and announces that we have an hour until dinner and shows us to our compartments. I roll my eyes. I've had the same compartment on the train for the past 4 years. I know very well where it is. I know that this is Effie's way of distancing herself. If she pretends to not know me then it will hurt less when I die. I enter my compartment as Effie pushes Peeta further down the train, telling him of all he it has in store for him.

Once inside, I strip off my clothes and take a shower. I push buttons until I get a decent stream. The hot water relaxes my muscles only slightly. I know that my muscles will never un-tense, at least not while there are Hunger Games and Capitols at large.

I pay hardly any attention to the wardrobe. I grab something that looks comfortable and that seems to match. I make my way to Haymitch's compartment and knock. He doesn't answer. I sigh. Haymitch is usually drunk by this time but with me being one of the Tributes again, I would have expected him to refrain long enough to curse me for putting him in this position. I know him very well. That is what the Hunger Games do: they haunt people so badly that only another Victor is capable of seeing the depth of another Victor's horrors. Haymitch and I do not get along but we have an unspoken agreement to stick together. He will not like that I'm abandoning him. He and I are selfish people at heart and he will be worrying about what he will do if and when I die and leave him alone again. I decide to let him drink. He deserves it, I guess.

I wander around the train for a little bit before I start for the dining car of the train and am surprised to see that I am the last to attend. Haymitch has beaten me there and is definitely drunk but he is coherent enough to snort when he spies me in the doorway. I take a deep breath and walk in.

"Alright. Let's have it." I demand in response to the glare he is giving me.

"How could you be so stupid?" Haymitch roars as he stands up. "You are putting yourself at jeopardy. Who knows if I can bring you back out this time?"

I nod. I expected this response and I would be saying the same to him were he to have volunteered.

"Your turn," Haymitch says tightly.

"How could you expect me to let Prim be reaped? What kind of person would I be if I allowed my sibling to march off to death? You know she's all I've got!" I fire back at him.

Suddenly, there is an awkward moment in the train. Peeta has two brothers, one of which is of age and could have volunteered for Peeta as I did for Prim.

"Peeta…" I say, unsure of how to take my foot out of my mouth.

Peeta gives a weak smile. "I'm not offended. My brothers and I aren't like you and Prim."

"Whatever, I'm an idiot, "I say. "I refused to let my sister be subjected to the Games. That's not important now. Peeta needs a strategy."

I see Effie agreeing emphatically but Haymitch has a calculating look. I've already slipped up and said that Peeta needed a strategy, not we. I look away. I make a mental note to avoid being alone with Haymitch so that he cannot can't corner me. I'm a terrible liar and so it's best that I avoid that conversation.

"We've agreed to be allies, "Peeta speaks up.

Haymitch raises an eyebrow and looks at me. "Did you, sweetheart?"

Haymitch knows that I am not a fan of allies. He tried in my first Game to get me to pick an ally as there was a good chance that the careers would target me as a weakling and try to pick me off. I refused to ally with anyone because I would be later killing them or they would be killing me.

We eat in silence for a few minutes. I see Peeta digging into the food vigorously despite the fact that he has been reaped. Haymitch and I have very little appetite anymore.

"Slow down," I tell Peeta. He looks at me questioningly. "The Capitol has good food but its rich. I spent my first night on the train throwing it up because my stomach wasn't used to it. You might be better off as a merchant's kid but you still should try to make sure you don't upset your stomach."

Haymitch grunts in agreement with me. I take a sip of my hot chocolate and push some of the oatmeal around my plate. I ate as much of the meat as I could but the oatmeal was too filling. Effie eyes me warily when she notices me playing with my food. I'm sure it isn't good manners to play with your food at the table.

The meal passes with nothing else interesting happening. Effie and Haymitch argued over silly things and Peeta ate so much that I was impressed. He did look greenish afterwards but he took my warning seriously and paced himself, selecting his foods cautiously.

Effie leads us back to the TV room to watch the recap of the Reapings. I watched with detachment the first year that I was a Tribute, too scared to see my competition. This year I am going to scout out who would make up my most fierce competition. I knew that the Reaping was the last possible chance for me to see the completion as themselves. After the train ride, the Tributes are already scheming and being coached by their Mentors. I wanted to see what the Tributes are like as themselves so that I can compare them later after their Mentors get a hold of them and teach them how to act.

The Careers, as usual, were tough and strong. Worst of all, they were eager. Girls like myself and Johanna Mason from District 7, we killed but it was out of necessity. The kids from the Careers are bloodthirsty. They have been conditioned to believe that killing is fun and is a sport. Of course it would not bother them to kill another person. They were ready for it.

Peeta sits on the opposite end of the couch from me and says nothing. I am unsure how he will take all of this. I was so young the first time I was Reaped that everything was out of context. No one expected anything from me and so I was able to slip by unnoticed. People allowed it because I would die soon anyway. Haymitch knew better than to write me off after I almost knifed him over calling me Sweetheart. He does it now just to watch me grind my teeth (which gets me a lecture from Cinna). It seems expectations for me are varied this time around. It is likely that I'll be killed when all of the other Tributes single me out as a target or that I'm so powerful that I will survive them despite the bull's eye on my back.

There were a few girl Tributes who were classically beautiful. This will further thin out the sponsors. I see a few Tributes that make me sad. The 12 year old girl from District 11 who had many siblings and the crippled Boy from a District I don't even remember.

"Now that the fun is over, you two need to go to bed," Haymitch says. I hate when he tells me what to do so I make a point of not moving even when Peeta rises slowly to his feet. Peeta glances my way before he tells everyone goodnight and makes his way towards his compartment.

I really have no desire to stay in the same car with Haymitch and Effie but I decide to wait long enough so that I can make the decision to go to my compartment on my own. I have no idea why it is suddenly important to me that I be seen as an adult.

The TV is showing the recaps again, as if watching the Reaping once wasn't enough, and I watch them same kids being called. There are still some Tributes who make no impression but I can see that many of them are shocked and scared. My own face looks impassive. I am surprised by how…bored I looked. I guess my acting over the past few years has improved.

Effie bids us a good night with a reminder of what is in store for tomorrow.

"She gone?" Haymitch whispers gruffly.

I lean over to see the door closing. I nod my head and Haymitch pulls his white liquor from the inside pocket of his coat.

"So let's cut right to what's really going on here, eh?"

I forgot in my act of rebellion that I was avoiding Haymitch.

"What do you mean, 'what's going on'?" I say in an imitation of him, slurring my words ever so slightly.

"You volunteered for Prim, no big surprise there, but why the alliance?" Haymitch demands as he takes a swig.

After a second of thought, I reach over and take his bottle. He protests as I yank it from him but stops when he sees me take a drink. It burns. I hand the stuff back.

Carefully, I say, "Wasn't it you who told me to make alliances in the Games?"

"Wasn't it you who said you didn't want to get to know someone in case you had to kill them?"

Confused, I tell him, "I never said that."

"Oh, right. You just thought it."

There is silence. Haymitch and I understand each other too well.

"This would be a lot easier if you would just admit what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I might be able to keep you alive." Haymitch grunts.

"I owe Peeta my life." I say. It comes out in a whisper. I explain the story of what happened after my father died and what Peeta did as quickly as I can.

Haymitch, also from the Seam, knows how being indebted feels. He says nothing about my stupidity or poor choices. We simply drink. When we hit the bottom of the bottle, Haymitch speaks again.

"So what made you and the boy ally so quickly?

I consider what he said. "He asked to be allies the minute we were alone. I agreed. I will be targeted due to being a Victor. I'm not really sure that being my ally is best for Peeta, though."

A snort comes from Haymitch. "I am fairly certain that being your ally is in that boy's best interest, target or no target."

Peeta may not be from the Seem like Haymitch and I are but I know that Peeta is capable of heavy lifting and wrestling. I don't think he is doomed to being killed right off. I puzzle over the meaning behind Haymitch's words. The drink rolls around in head with a steady buzz. I can see why Haymitch likes to drink but if I were to drink anymore I am sure that the feeling would no longer be pleasant.

Before I can open my mouth, Haymitch is waving a hand at me and is saying, "I wonder when we'll be able to get a breath of fresh air?"

This is a code. The bugs that the Capitol places on the train are everywhere. Whatever Haymitch wants to tell me is something that he absolutely cannot even tell me in riddles without worrying about them picking it up. I nod that I understand. I will wait until tomorrow morning when we stop to refuel.

Haymitch sighs. "So you and the boy will ally? That's the extent of your plan? It needs work."

Shaking my head, I say, "We are going to pretend not to like each other in front of the cameras and in the arena. If anyone suspects an alliance between us they will target Peeta too and then there will be no way I'll get my hands on a bow and arrow."

"Unless you are able to get enough sponsors this time that I can send you one."

"This would be possible if it weren't for the fact that Peeta and I will hate each other in front of the cameras. I don't know how they'll take that."

We think about it for a minute before Haymitch stands up and shrugs. He stumbles to the door and, without facing me, says, "We'll worry about it tomorrow. Get some sleep."

I consider sleeping and decide against it. Nightmares will wake me up anyhow. I select the one tape that I hate more than the others. I pop it in and sit back, forcing myself to watch my Games.

I study myself and try not to allow my eyes to linger on the Tributes who are now dead. Tributes who I have killed. At my Reaping I see my own shocked face looking hollow in the cheeks. My eyes were wide and I can see the sharpness of my elbows. I feel sick watching myself be Reaped. I look at the other Tributes who were older than I was and were so much bigger. There are only a few Districts that produce such scrawny and skinny Tributes, 12 being the worst. I hadn't realized how starved I looked. No wonder that I had no Sponsors. I wouldn't Sponsor me.

I see myself go throughout the interviews and interacting with Caesar and notice how I stiff and scared I was. No doubt the other Tributes will have seen my Games and noticed this too. If I am not good in an interview, they will be working hard to sweep the Sponsors away from me during their time with Caesar.

During the Games I watch myself come alive. I can see that other Tributes will have knowledge of my abilities with a bow and arrow. They will know how I am able to aim and shoot from high up in a tree but they will not know that I can shoot two arrows in one draw or that I am accurate enough to get a head shot from 150 yards away. Of course, they will know enough to kill me before I get the chance to get a bow. I was good enough at 12 that they won't guess or wonder at letting me live.

I see myself showing basic knowledge of plants so I know that the other Tributes this year will know that I can survive for a few days without a weapon by eating plants. They do not know the full extent of my survival skills though.

At 12 years old I hadn't learned enough about snares to set any so luckily that is my hidden talent. Gale has been teaching me all his best snares. I will never have a natural talent for it like he does but at least I can set a decent enough snare to catch a human.

My mother and Prim have been showing me a little bit about medicine. After nearly dying, I suddenly was interested in learning about bandaging wounds. Again, I am not nearly as good as even Prim but I can probably keep a wound clean. In my last Games I received a superficial wound that got infected. My mother insisted that if I hadn't won when I did, I could have really gotten sick or worse. None of my opponents will suspect that I am able to dress a wound. I'm still so squeamish that it hardly counts for anything in my mind.

I have just survived my first night when I see Peeta leaning near the door. I look at him and our eyes meet. I see a faint blush cross his cheeks at being caught and he crosses the train to sit on the other end of the couch.

I see that he looks less green now.

"Did you puke?"

He smiles a little and answers a quiet, "No. It was a close call, though."

I notice the faint pink streaming in from the windows and realize that it's the early hours of the morning. Peeta is dressed for the day. He sees me looking and tells me, "I always get up at this time for work in the bakery so it's hard for me to sleep in."

I had forgotten that Peeta has to work in the bakery every day from dawn until school time.

We sit in silence and watch the rest of my Games. Thankfully, Peeta makes no comments simply watches with me. It's nice, I decide, having someone physically present near me when I feel so empty inside. I actually have to turn my head when I see one of the other Tributes get killed. He was a boy from District 8 and I did not know his name until after he'd already died but there was a moment during training when he and I shared a laugh. Watching Rouge brutally stab him through the heart with a knife was too much for me to watch currently.

Peeta makes a motion with his hand as if to reach towards me but he must realize that nothing can make me feel better so he leaves his hand resting on his lap. When I turn back to the Games I see that I am dodging Rogue, darting tree to tree behind him while he looks up. Eventually I see myself sneak around in front of him and then skewer him through the neck when he stretches his head up far enough for me to get a shot in. this shows logic and if any of the other Tributes are smart they will realize that logic, tactics, and critical thinking are a very important skill to have in the Arena.

I shut the tape off and stretch my muscles a little.

"Alright now we know that the other Tributes have seen me with a bow, my knowledge of plants and my reasoning. I have a couple more tricks up my sleeve that they don't know about. Let's work on our strategy for training."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Peeta and I work on the holes in our strategy until it's breakfast time. Together we have figured out that with us hating each other, Peeta will lose any chance of getting Sponsors. He will not be received well in the Capitol since I am so well-loved. They will think badly of anyone who doesn't like one of their favorite Victors. We decide that instead our angle will be that I am a fierce warrior, preparing for battle and wanting nothing to do with anyone or anything. I am to be above the rest of the Tributes and the Capitol will simply see me as not allowing myself to be distracted from my focus. Peeta, who will not receive any attention from snobbish me, will be seen just like all the other Tributes. This will keep me with Sponsors and will help at least keep the Capitol from hating Peeta. What we hadn't worked out was what we could do to win Peeta Sponsors while playing the angle we had picked. We decided to let Haymitch figure that out when he sobers up enough.

With me acting like I'm better than everyone else and playing cocky and confident, Peeta will be secretly helping me to get my bow and arrow so we can meet up together. I plan to protect him for the rest of the Games to the best of my ability but I have to have the bow and arrow.

Peeta will have a tough time getting through the bloodbath at the Cornucopia. If he manages to secure a bow and arrow, he will be running away from the other Tributes and I will be the one having to find him in order to rendezvous. All in all, our alliance is not shaping up to be in Peeta's favor. I have no idea why he has agreed to ally with me and I am beginning to become suspicious. I feel guilty enough allowing myself to ally with Peeta. I feel a slight twinge of guilt when he mentions fighting through the cornucopia to get my bow. Our plan shows promise but something feels off about it. I want to be sure that our strategy will work but I can't feel totally confident when there are so many outside variables affecting the outcome.

I stop by my compartment and change my clothes before heading to breakfast. The last time I went to breakfast in the same clothes that I had worn at the previous meal, Effie had given me a lecture that lasted two hours.

When I arrive at the dining cart, I see that Haymitch is not in attendance. I huff a sigh and ignore Effie's, "Good morning!" as I turn around and march towards Haymitch's compartment. I don't bother knocking on his door. Instead, I pick the lock and let the door bang open as I go for his bathroom, pull the detachable showerhead and use it to spray Haymitch with the "freezing cold glacier-fresh" setting..

Haymitch jumps up, waving his knife at me like a mad man. He is sputtering and looking around the room. When he sees me holding the showerhead and spraying him in the face, he yells profanities at me. I twist the knob roughly to "off" and toss the showerhead back into the stall.

"If you wanted a polite wake-up you should have woken up when Effie told you about what a big, big, big day we have ahead of us," I smirk at him.

Haymitch isn't even mad anymore. He sinks down onto his bed, water running off his face and seeping into his Capitol-provided comforter. I can hear him muttering things at me that are too nasty for me to dwell on. Instead I stride across the room towards the door.

"Take a shower, Haymitch," I my braid over my shoulder and slam the door behind me.

When I arrive at the breakfast table, Effie is glaring at me and I can see that Peeta is uncomfortable. I feel bad that she must have complained about my manners to Peeta. He shouldn't have to listen to too many of Effie's speeches before arriving at the Capitol for torture. I decide to have a little fun.

"You know it's rude to glare at other guests at the breakfast table, Effie. Really, Peeta here will think you have no manners! What will he think of the Capitol?"

Effie chokes on her egg sandwich. I can see the indignation on her face as Peeta whacks her on the back to help her breathe. I go about helping myself to food and pretend that I don't notice Effie being speechless and angry at the same time.

During my third helping of pork chops, Haymitch stumbles in. He is wet still from the shower and is obviously still drunk but at least he is here. He doesn't look at any of us but sits plops down in his chair and stabs a piece of chicken leg and starts picking it apart.

I sigh, "Haymitch, I've already had to speak to Effie this morning about manners. Do I have to lecture you to?"

Peeta snorts into his hot chocolate and I can see him smiling behind the rim.

Effie's face turns red and she sputters a little bit. I ignore her and continue eating. I do as Peeta has been doing and dip my bread into my hot chocolate and find it is good that way.

We all eat in silence for a little bit. Haymitch's hand itches towards the red wine but he glares and me and grabs a water instead. I smile at him innocently. He knows that it's closer to Game time and that if he were to dare, I'd throw knives at him again like I did four years ago.

"Haymitch," Peeta says. "We have been working out the kinks in our strategy. We could really use some help."

"Yes, Haymitch. As our Mentor, we should work together and get a strategy ready since we'll be at the Capitol soon," I tell him, pointedly.

Effie perks up. "It's so lovely to see everyone working together! Oh, I am certain to receive some camera time having a Victor-Tribute this year."

Peeta's brow wrinkles and he stares at Effie in horror as she babbles on and on about promotions and her raise in pay if I win. I simply shrug back at him as if to tell that this is simply the way the Capitol is.

Peeta fills Haymitch in on our strategy, who is quick to point out the flaws.

"Who says you have to get the bow for her?" He grunts. "Katniss has two legs and she's fast. She was fast enough at 12 to grab it and run. Who is to say she can't do it again?"

I laugh. "With each and every Tribute turning on me before I can leave my plate? I'm sure I'll make it just fine."

Haymitch shakes his at me while smiling. This is how he tells m I've said something stupid. He speaks as if to a small child. "No, Sweetheart. They won't be coming after you. You are a warrior. They will be far too intimidated by your presence. Besides that, you're going to get in with the Careers. "

Effie claps her hands as if a wonderful things as just happened. She must be excited about the idea of 12 becoming a "Career" District. This will surely put her in better standing with the Capitol.

"Why would Katniss do something like that?" Peeta asks. The wrinkle on his forehead is still there as he tries to follow Haymitch's logic.

A roll of Haymitch's eyes has my hand itching for my steak knife. "If she chooses a powerful Tribute and makes them think she is in their alliance, we can spit the Career pack up and keep her chance of getting the bow and arrow up."

My head is spinning from all the games and roles that I will need to play. I have to be cocky and confident; cold and uncaring towards Peeta. I have to pretend to have no alliance or positive feelings of any kinds for him while I choose a Career who is powerful and strike a "pretend" alliance with them. When we enter the Arena I will have to ally with that person long enough to get my weapon and kill them so that I can find Peeta and ally with him for real.

I will have plenty of Sponsors while Peeta will have none. He will have nothing that sets him apart from the other Tributes as a way of gaining the capitol's favor. When we reveal that we've been together all along, he will gain Sponsors but it may be too late by then.

"What about Peeta?" I ask, trying t mask the emotion I feel when I think of him having to survive in the Arena while I gallivant around with the Careers, bow in hand and food in a pack.

Haymitch gives Peeta a knowing look. "I have a plan for him. It will gain him Sponsors for sure. It has to be a plan secret from you, though." He juts his chin out at me. "You're not a good enough actress for the plan I have for him. He'll receive separate training on how to play his part."

Peeta nods his head while in deep concentration. I know Haymitch is good at playing the Capitol's game so I decide not to second guess his judgment. He's right. I'm not a good actress. I can only play roles that are close to my natural emotions. Whatever he has planned must be out of my element.

We each go our own separate ways for a while. I lay down on my bed to think about our strategy some more. I try to think of all the reasons I should be cocky and confident. I know that I am decent with a few weapons. Maybe if I exhibit a decent enough skill for knife throwing I can trick the Careers into thinking that I have a new favorite weapon. I pick up the microphone and order a steak to be delivered to my room. When it arrives I pick the steak up with my hands and chew on it while I find a good spot on my wall to aim at.

All in all, I'm not bad at knife throwing. I'm not great at it but if I stick around that station long enough I could be good at it. The only other skill I have with weapons is snares. I can aim a spear but I don't enough arm muscle to heave it very far. I practice all morning until the train stops. I go outside with Haymitch and we walk around. I waited for him to deem it safe from bugs before we start talking.

"Look," Haymitch starts. "I know just a bit about the boy. He isn't normal. He's…special. He won't turn like most Tributes turn in the Arena. You will have to protect him if you want him to survive."

I nod my head. I can see what he is saying. Peeta seems the optimistic sort.

"But," Haymitch continues, "What I can't figure out is what your goal is. Are planning to send him home, or bring yourself home?"

I swallow. "Can't we both come home?"

It's such a childish thought. Haymitch must understand that it was only a hopeful thought and not a true delusion because he claps me on the shoulder, the highest form of affection he s capable of.

We stand in silence for a moment.

"I hate the Capitol," I whisper. Haymitch nods. This is all we can chance saying about our truest feelings.

24 Tributes go in, 1 comes out. They will force us to kill each other until we have just one tribute. Even if the alliance between Peeta and me works, it would mean we would have to kill each other in the end. This is the worst part of the idea. If I am able to protect Peeta and save his life, it will be him versus me. In that situation, what would I do? Would it be better if we could go both go home?

I clap my hands together. Haymitch starts and looks at me. I pull him in to a hug that neither of us is comfortable with. I wrap my arms around his shoulders and tiptoe up to him, trying to look as if I am comfortable hugging my mentor. I press my face close to his ear so that no camera could see the words coming out of my mouth.

"What if Peeta and I are the last two standing? What if it is him or me? If we threatened simultaneous suicide, would the gamemakers let us both die and have no victor or would they allow us both to live?"

I pull away from Haymitch just enough to see the smile on his face. It's not a guarantee but the idea has merit. If Peeta and I can make it that far, we have a plan to keep us from killing each other. I would rather us both die than one of us live. If we could make the audience somehow realize what the Capitol is really doing to people, then maybe we could change the world.

"Do not breathe a word of this idea to anyone. Not even Peeta. It will ruin the plan I have for him if he knows that you know of it," Haymitch whispers into my ear quickly. I am so glad I forced him to shower this morning.

"How will I know what to do when Peeta plays his role that you are keeping secret? Won't I mess it up worse by not knowing it?" I will explain the plan to the boy and when your turn comes to buy into his angle, he will say the words, 'I miss your pretty red ribbon'. When he tells you that, you will be able to figure out what type of role to assume. Do what you know the audience wants from you and I will be able to bring at least one of you home alive."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

It's only a few more hours until we arrive at the Capitol. Peeta begins to fidget. He walks from train to train looking for something to do and finding nothing. I feel sorry for him. He is unused to having time to himself since he is usually in school or at the bakery. I convince him to eat some meat even though we will eat lunch again later. I am training to help him put on some weight. The more weight the better. I eat just as much as I make him eat knowing that I will soon be limited on food.

We don't say much to each other since there isn't a whole lot to talk about. I take my steak knife and continue to throw it at the wall. Eventually Peeta takes his and is brave enough to try. It takes him a dozen tries to get a decent stick in the wall. We practice together in silence, only commenting when the other gets a good stick. I can see what I should have been doing for the past four years rather than being lost in depression.

When we arrive at the Capitol Haymitch sticks he head in the door to tells us to start playing our roles. I begin thinking of how great I am and how I am going to kill all the other Tributes like I did before. I don't allow myself to get to know anyone because I will be killing them. I am indifferent about my competition and I am a warrior, as Haymitch put it.

I vaguely hear Haymitch tell Peeta that he should try being friendly to the Capitol. Even though he isn't given the time of day by his District partner doesn't mean he should try to appear amiable to the Sponsors. It may not be enough to get him a Sponsor but it will keep people from hating him or, worse, from going unnoticed.

Haymitch gives his usual instructions about how the prep teams and the stylists are meant to help us and to let them do whatever they want.

"I've done this before, Haymitch." I can't help snapping at him. I am trying to get into my role and he won't leave us alone to get ready for me to get into character.

His only response is a smile as he walks away to the doors from which we will soon exit. I can see that Peeta is amazed at the sight of the Capitol. It really is pretty breathtaking at first. With all the money and all the wealth, they have some spectacular sights. I was amazed just like he is now.

I try to focus on my role. The first thing that pops into my mind is to act like someone else. Johanna Mason, from the lumber district, is a cocky person. She is surly, rude and blunt. I've mentored with her for a few years now and we always end up fighting. Haymitch once told me it was because we were too much alike. I try to channel Johanna as we pull into the Capitol's inner city.

As soon as the train comes to a stop, I rush out of the doors. I can see the camera men filming me and the reporters asking me rapid questions that I can't hear. I ignore them. I happen to hear one reporter asking whether I was planning to give them a good show this year. I glare at her snort. The way these people treat us Tributes like trained animals is astonishing. I walk right by and say nothing. Behind me, I can hear Peeta stopping to talk to the camera men and commenting on people's attire. I wonder if he might just steal the show and Sponsors away from me after all.

Once we free from cameras, I am swept up into the hands of my prep crew. I sigh as they begin gossiping about my hair, nails, teeth and all other various aspects of my body. I notice that Octavia is crying while Flavius is sniffling. I grit my teeth the way that Cinna hates and wait it out. I am glad that after winning the Games, I was able to qualify for a permanent hair removal. Rather than be plucked like a chicken every time I had to make an appearance, I simply had to be dressed and made-up. This doesn't stop my prep team from scrubbing, bathing, and oiling my skin from all of its impurities.

By the time they have finished trimming my hair and rubbing products into it, I am tired of all the comforting remarks I have had to make to help them get through the afternoon. I'm the one dying, right? I hadn't really thought of my prep team as people who are capable of real emotions. Jealousy, greed, and lust, yes. Love, sorrow, and pity, no.

Cinna and I eat lunch together. I chewed him out for the way the prep team cried and gossiped all morning. He smiled at me but said nothing. Cinna and I got along easily. I always forget how easy it is just being near him. It's almost like back before my father died, back when I had someone who knew when I was upset and was there to talk to me about it.

"What's up for this year's costume?" I ask through a mouthful of boiled cabbage.

Cinna beams. "Well, I went for a different effect this year."

"No more 'Girl on Fire'?"

Cinna gives me a calculating look. "Well, I thought we'd try a different aspect of fire."

I think for a moment. "What other forms of fire are there? I mean there is blazing fire and then there are sparks but what else is there?"

A laugh escapes Cinna but it's not as though he is laughing at me. It's more like he's laughing at his own brilliance. "Well, my darling, what about smoke?"

"Smoke?" I say disbelievingly. "What about smoke? Isn't that what happens _after_ the fire gets put out?"

"Or what happens _before_ the fire gets started."

I can see what Cinna is insinuating but I am not quite sure it makes sense. "But I have already been 'Katniss Everdeen, The-Girl-Who-Was-on-Fire' so this is a step backward. The fire was started a while ago. The symbolism is a little skewed."

"Ah," Cinna jumps up, excitedly. "The symbolism has only just begun, dear." He places his hands on the back of my chair and spins me around to face the mirror.

I see myself but it is already the Capitol's version. My hair is loose and the base make-up makes me look smoother and much prettier than I ever look naturally. My eyelashes are simply too full and dark to be my own.

"You, Katniss, have only just begun. You may have been in the Games before but you've started something big. The Capitol loves you. They are ready to see what you are capable of and…so am I."

The hidden meaning in Cinna's words have me thinking throughout the rest of the prep session and I don't even notice what he does to me. What could he mean by saying that he is ready to see what I'm capable of? I am a Tribute fighting to get back home to Prim while also fighting to save Peeta and possibly bring him home as well. Does Cinna already know of the plan that Haymitch and I cooked up?

When Cinna finishes added the color to my face, he pulls back and I see myself in the mirror. I am stunned. I really do look like smoke. My costume is a black sheer cloth that allows the gray undertones to be seen in places. The dress in somewhat tight fitting and I can tell that Cinna is showing off my body as he has never done before. The slinky gown looks enough like smoke without the smoky eye make-up. I am wearing leather boots that lace up above my knees while my dress ends a good four inches below my underwear. I now understand why Cinna insisted on a different type of undergarment for this costume.

"I know it doesn't look like much but when we turn on your battery pack, the smoke and fog will trail out behind you and it will cover your body a little better. I thought that we might need to show off a little more skin this year to show Sponsors that you aren't 12 anymore. I promise that the other costumes aren't as revealing.

I nod my head in agreement as I silently applaud Cinna's work. He never fails to impress me with his talents.

When it's almost time, I follow Cinna to the line-up and see Peeta wearing a similar but manly costume. His clothes are not sheer but a similar fabric that gives him a rugged quality. His make-up is minimal but his hair had been tousled to give it a dreamy quality.

I finish my look and ignore him as I climb into the chariot beside him. Peeta offered me his hand but I ignored it as I am supposed to. I am sure Peeta is playing his part but looking upset that I won't speak to him but I don't chance looking. Instead, I glance around at the others. I see some glares coming at me from the Career Districts but mostly I just see the other Tributes looking scared to death even though they hide it well.

One by one the chariots line up and take off. Just before take off, I reach down to split in my skirt and press the tiny button to start up the smoke and see Peeta do the same out the corner of my eye. As we roll into view of the crowd, I put on my best fight face and try looking fierce.


	7. Chapter 7

*Short Chapter, sorry!*

Chapter 7

I ignore everyone and everything around me. When our chariot rolls into view, the citizens go nuts. Some are crying and weeping hysterically. They get attached to their Victors and so the thought of loosing me is really taking a toll. The other citizens who are not crying are shouting my name and cheering me on. They are excited to see me go back to the Arena and they like my spunk.

I make it a point to not respond. I put on my best cocky smile and pretend that I am Johanna. I am a fierce warrior who is capable of putting an arrow through anyone's eye. I try not to glare at the citizens. Instead I look at screen and see that beside me, Peeta is waving and smiling happily as if all of the people lined up in the streets are his closest friends. The crowd is eating it up. They are throwing him roses and jumping up and down.

On my side of the road, people are pumping their fists in the air and chanting my name is kind of a war cry. We look great on the screen. The smoke is giving us us a mysterious effect that helps to make me look deadly and lethal. Peeta simply looks like he belongs on a chariot waving at people.

When we reach the circle, most of the camera attention is on us. I stand tall and dignified while we listen to President Snow make his speeches. Next to me Peeta looks humble and simply gracious hat he is allowed to be here.

The speeches seem to last longer than ever before we are allowed to roll back towards the training center. As soon as we reach the training center I jump off the chariot, ignoring Peeta's hand again, and turn off my smoke machine. I push passed the other Tributes a little rudely to get the elevator. I can see that a few of them are looking at me warily. The Careers are sticking together and rolling their eyes as the elevator doors close. There are only two other Tributes in the elevator with me. There is a boy and a girl from which District, I do not know. They aren't Careers that much is for sure. The girl is smaller than Prim. The boy looks to be about Peeta's size and height but there is nothing distinguishing about him. I do not want to know anything about them. Not only because of my roll but also because I do not think they will make it very far in the Arena. I don't want to know the names of people who I might have to kill soon.

The boy gets off on the 5th floor and the girl rides up to the 11th floor. As soon as she's gone, I let out a breath. This is already so much harder than it was at 12. Back then I was only worried about who would kill me and how Mother would deal with taking care of Prim. Now I am worried about who _I_ will be killing and how _I_ will take care of Prim in the case that I come back from the Arena, having let Peeta die. The best case scenario is not always likely so I am trying to prepare mentally for the worst.

In my room I gently take of my dress, realizing that it was actually pretty revealing. I wonder if Cinna will decide that I need Sponsors badly enough that he will put me in something similar for my interview with Caesar. I grab some clothes out of the first drawer that I find and set them down on the bathroom counter where I wipe off most of the smoky eye make-up that Cinna put on me. It doesn't look too bad, I decide. I leave some of the tamer make-up on and jerk the clothes I picked out over my head. I go to the dining room and see that Effie has somehow managed to force Haymitch into a coat and button down shirt. Peeta is not at the table yet.

It's only a minute later when Peeta arrives in a coat and button down shirt as well. His face looks as if he scrubbed the make-up off with a dry towel.

"Did you experience the Capitol's showers yet?" I ask, noting that his hair is devoid of the gel that had been put in it earlier by his prep team.

Peeta blushes. "Yes. It was…quite an experience."

"Did you program the jets to shoot you in awkward places or what?" Haymitch grunts while playing with his napkin.

Peeta's face gets redder. "Something like that. There were too many buttons so I pushed one. It looked harmless."

Haymitch and I laugh. We haven't laughed like this in so long that it feels so good that I don't _want _to stop laughing. Not even when Effie tries to tell Haymitch that our current topic "is not dinner table appropriate conversation".

Peeta stammers that it was an accident as he shifts uneasily in his seat while Haymitch and I laugh.

"We did it too," I tell him. "Our first time in the Capitol, I mean. I pushed a few buttons and had to scrape the yellow soap off of me with a hairbrush because it was so thick. We've both been there."

Haymitch and I are still laughing so Peeta joins in, looking more comfortable now that he knows that we weren't laughing t him but at the similarity in our first Capitol showers.

Dinner is delicious. Lamb stew and rice with gravy sauce. It is the same meal that I told Caesar was the best art of the Capitol. Our Avoxes must have done this on purpose in honor of me. Cinna and Portia, our stylists, join us for dessert which is a cake so chocolaty that it looks black. It has grey icing piping the edges and it's emitting the fake smoke that our costumes had. It is delicious and rich so I only eat a small piece.

By the time we finish, I feel almost as sick as Peeta looks. We traipse through our floor to reach the tv for the mandatory viewing of the recap. I finally get to see the other Tributes since I was ignoring them earlier. I notice now things that I did not notice my first time as a Tribute.

Haymitch makes a few comments about the other Mentors and which of his Mentor friends have a decent Tribute or which will have a hard time. I understand why he is more concerned with the Mentor side of things rather than the Tribute side. As a Tribute, you are responsible for for your own life in the Arena. You get outside help but your only responsibility is for your own life. As a Mentor, you are responsible for someone _else's _life. It's way harder to be a Mentor, living with the nightmare's from your own Games and then adding nightmare's of children you helped get killed while worrying about a new one. I think worrying about the Mentor's is a good defense mechanism that develops. When you worry about people who will be alive (tortured, but alive) after the Games, it helps to not worry about the kids who will soon be dead.

I comment to Cinna about the angle that the other stylists are trying to make. The kids from District 1 are trying to be glamorous to win Sponsors based on looks. District 2 tried to look intimidating. They did a good job too. The boy was huge and the girl was easily 50 pounds heavier than I am. They stood out the most until we got to District 11. The girl was so tiny and the boy so large that the commentators were exclaiming about how precious and ferocious they were. None of the other Districts could hold a candle to District 12, though. When Peeta and I roll onto screen the crowd forgets the other Tributes and I can hear them chanting my name and waving and screaming for Peeta. Peeta, for his part, looked very masculine with his smoky look.

We congratulate Cinna on winning the unspoken stylist face-off and he and Haymitch pop some champagne. I take a glass since Effie and Portia are also taking a glass. I see Peeta decline out the corner of my eye. We toast to a success even though the Games are far from over and even then it will be a hollow victory if a victory at all.

Peeta excuses himself to bed and I can see a worry line creasing his forehead. I sigh and say goodnight as well. My head is swimming as it is so I figure I should probably try to get in some sleep and prepare to act my part again tomorrow.

Peeta says goodnight as he goes in his door and I mumble one back. I guess that while our roles are false, we still don't know each other very well. That is a good thing, I decide. I don't _want_ to know Peeta any better than I do now. Knowing someone when they die makes it worse. If I or he are to die, it's better we stay as unacquainted as possible.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The first day of training started with a headache. I awoke from a nightmare involving the massive Tribute from 11 pounding on my head with a hammer only to hear Effie banging on my door to bring me to breakfast.

I splashed water on my face and put on the clothes Cinna had left for me. Supple leather boots, sleek, stretchy pants and a tunic in black and red. I braided my hair and left for breakfast. Peeta didn't seem to fair any better than I had but at least he was eating well. I went straight for the meat and ignore the sugary stuff. I knew from my mother that meat had protein and that I would do better gaining weight by eating meat than the fruits. Peeta had the opposite idea, I think. He was eating a lot but only the lighter foods like strawberries and toast. I figure he must be nervous as I was, not knowing what to expect in the training center.

Haymitch reminds of gruffly of our roles. I keep up a mantra in my head to help remind myself of who I am.

_You are Katniss Everdeen. You are a victor. You will win the Games and you dislike all the other Tributes. They are simply obstacles in your way. You are Katniss Everdeen…_

Effie tries to step in the elevator with Peeta and I but Haymitch holds her back.

"Remember that Katniss is playing a part. She doesn't need a babysitter. It will hurt her image as a warrior if you're seen holding her hand."

Effie nods that she understands but I think it's really upsetting to her that she can't take us down.

"We'll be back soon, Effie," I hear myself say. It sounds awkward coming from me since I'm not used to saying nice things to Effie.

"Sure, we'll fill you in on the events as soon as we get back." Peeta allows.

Effie smiles a little as she fixes a lock of Peeta's hair and pushes the buttons in the elevator to send us where we are going. The doors close and we whoosh downward away from Effie and Haymitch.

"Remember that you don't like me or anyone. Make it convincing," Peeta tells me.

I nod my head stiffly. "Remember to be likable and to make it seem like we have no plans on allying.

Peeta inhales a big lungful of air. As the elevator glides into place, he exhales loudly. When the doors open, I dart out of it, leaving Peeta behind me. I rush towards the weaponry stations and find that District 2 is already there along with the boy from 4 and one of the girls from 7. I ignore them as the district partners from 2 whisper and gossip about me. When Atala stands up gives the same spiel she gave to me years ago, I half listen as I glance around and see that the stations are pretty much the same. I see the archery station and my heart drops as I remember that I can't visit it. I have to be good at other things so that the other Tributes will forget about my bow and arrow. I _have_ to have a bow and arrow in the Arena.

When Atala finishes, the tributes kind of loll around as they are decide what to do. District 2 and I surge forward. I notice that the girl from 2 is headed toward the knives so I veer off towards the spears. The boy from one has installed himself in the hand to hand combat and is already wrestling the instructor in such a manner that all of the other Tributes are eyeing him warily.

I turn around to see that the instructor at my station is a short guy with a thick neck. He tells me about the art of throwing a spear. I listen to him as carefully and patiently as I can, buying time. I want to be sure that I can throw the spear decently before I try and fail in front of everyone. When the instructor has told me all that he can, he hands me a spear and stands a little behind me as I heft the spear. He tells me to hold my hand flat and balance it. I find the center balance of it easily. He smiles his approval and points to a target. I see my target about ten yards away and I flex my arm instinctively. The instructor goes through the motions with me one more time when he senses my hesitance. I summon up all of the cockiness I can and take my stance. I go through the motions once and I feel a little awkward. This time I actually release and have the pleasure of seeing the spear go in the target's chest. I wish I could smile. I am supposed to be good at this already so I don't. I retrieve the spear and prepare my second throw. It lands a little further out than my first. Still a possible death blow, though. My third and fourth throws land in similar places. The instructor, Tyer, tells me how to get a better aim. I take his advice and focus. This time I get a better hit.

I must've spent at least two hours on spear throwing before I move on. I see that the girl from 2 has moved on to another station so I move over there. The instructor seems like he could use a break but unfortunately, my life is on the line and so he won't get one.

I listen to his speech and pay close attention to the way he sets up to make a throw. When it comes to my turn, I find the balance in the knife and feel it all over. When I am familiar with the knife, I set my stance and throw. It sticks cleanly but its a few inches off from where I had aimed. By the time the instructor has me hitting the target every time, I am starting to feel real confidence. I even back up a few paces and start throwing from longer distances. I take a break to gulp some water. I see a few Tributes quickly turn around and begin working furiously at their tasks, a tale-tell sign that they were watching me. I notice Peeta is working in the camouflage station. I see the bow and arrow station is untouched. No one has visited it yet. I wonder if it's because I was so good that they afraid of it.

During lunch I sit apart from everyone else. The careers take a table to themselves and whisper while glancing around. Several of the other Tributes were eating alone but none of them went as far away from all the others as I did. I didn't want to have to play my role during lunch. I figure that if I am too far for people to see my facial expressions I can probably plan my afternoon in the training center a little better.

I notice Peeta s sitting with another boy from District 3. They aren't speaking bt they are sitting 5 feet from one another. I wonder what that's about.

The rest of the afternoon is a blur. I visit a few more stations for the lesser skills that I don't really need help in. I am careful not to show too much talent at anything other than weaponry. I downplay my survival skills and make a decent enough fire to satisfy the instructor. Anyone watching would have said that I was mediocre. I end at the knife throwing station. I see District 2's girl eyeing me from across the center as I throw some more knives into the dummy. Knife throwing must be her special talent. I think she must resent seeing me show any skill at all a something she takes pride in. I am unsure what this will do to me in the arena.

I ride up to our floor by myself having purposely ignored Peeta as he ran and tried to hurry to get in the elevator with me. It was an unspoken rule that Tributes arrive and leave together but I ignored Peeta in an attempt to look heartless. Before the doors closed I could see that the remaining Tributes were looking at me warily.

Once on the twelfth floor I sit down on the plush sofa waiting on Peeta. When he arrives I can see he is frowning, deep in thought. When he looks up and notices me, he jumps a little.

"Tough day?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "I don't really have another day to compare it to so I am unsure how to gage it."

He's right. Certainly has this week been one unlike any other.

He walks over to the couch I am sitting on and plops down next to me. "I saw you throwing knives. Looked like you were doing pretty good."

I shrug but can't help feeling pleased that he thought I did well. If Peeta was fooled then maybe the other tributes were fooled as well. "I think I might be handy enough by the end of training. I saw you doing camouflage. How did that work out?"

Peeta blushes. "The instructor thought I was a natural. I think decorating the cakes might pay off."

This startles me. Prim would always drag me to look at the beautiful cakes in the window of the bakery and I would kick up a fuss. I actually enjoyed looking at the cakes as much as she did but I always grumbled just because I didn't want people to know. When I took over as head of the household I gave up my rights to think of frivolous things like pretty cakes and learning how to skip. I wanted to keep Prim young and enjoying life so I always went with her to enjoy the one colorful thing on the street. A beautiful cake was the one bright spot of color in our District.

"Your cakes are beautiful. Prim always made me go with her to see them. She loved the roses that would appear on the cakes because her name is Primrose," I tell Peeta.

He smiles a little but says nothing more.

We sit in silence for a few moments. It is a little bit awkward since neither one of us seems to know whether we should talk. We are saved by Effie who bustles in and complains about us wasting time out here when we should be preparing for the wonderful meal we get to eat soon. Peeta and I allow her to corral us into our rooms where I plop down on the plush bed. I feel tired so I close my eyes for a few minutes.

When I wake up, it is because of Effie banging on my door asking me if I'm ready for dinner. I yell at her that I will be out in five minutes. I splash some water on my face and grab a handful of clothes to change into. Luckily, the clothes are paired into matching sets so I am able to wear something that will please Effie without any effort on my part.

At dinner Haymitch forces us to go over every detail of our training session again and again. I repeat my account of the types of stations offered for the third time before I realize why Haymitch is asking about it yet again. My first Games had all the same stations. The arena must be similar. There wasn't a station for hypothermia nor was there a station for underwater plants or a stair climbing station. This rules out mountains, oceans, and tundra. I feel a surge of hope knowing that the arena will be close to what I prefer back home.

Peeta shrugs his shoulder when I voice my thoughts out loud. Peeta has never crossed the fence so he won't very much care what kind of climate we will be in.

That night I go to bed comforted by the fact that I will in familiar setting when we are thrust into the arena.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The next day of training goes by similar to our first day. Many of the Tributes are still looking around in awe and making pitiful attempts to throw a spear or start a fire. I think this should make me feel sorry for them but instead I feel a little bit better. I know that if they are this bad then I won't likely be the one who has to kill them. I want as few kills on my hands as possible.

Peeta shows some ability at spear throwing, though. He has enough strength to heave it but his aim is a little off. I was able to watch him for a minute or two when I took a break for a drink of water after coming from the cardio station. After heaving a few spears, I saw Peeta throw a few knives and he missed the entire target. The last throw he made lodged in the dummy's right hand.

Keeping up the routine, I waited for Peeta on the couch to ask him how he did. He tells me exactly what I saw. Decent spear throwing, horrible knife aiming.

"It's not like any of us in District 12 have the ability to train like the other Districts can. Can you imagine how the playing field would be leveled if we came in there able wield a pick ax?

I think of Gale back home with his ax working away at the coal in the mines at home. I shudder because I don't want to picture him in the Games. He would be too good at it. I am only good at the mechanical aspects of the Game. Not so much at the emotional part.

I think of Peeta, whose only ability comes from lifting flour bags and decorating the cakes. I sit up straight and call an Avox. Peeta raises an eyebrow at me but remains silent. I order two steaks and now Peeta looks at me like I am crazy. I tell the Avox who appeared to deliver it to my room.

"Come on," I tell Peeta. "Let's go wait for our steak in my room."

Um, Katniss?" Peeta says."I'm still stuffed from lunch. I know food is free and all but I don't think I can eat."

I sigh in annoyance. "Just come on!"

With no more arguments, Peeta follows me. We arrive in my room and as I shut the door behind us, I feel an awkward tension in the air. We stand silently for a moment before Peeta breaks it with a smile. "I assume you had a reason for ordering steak for us to eat in your room rather than the dining room. Are we about to eat to put on weight or what?"

"That's not a bad idea," I admit. "I'm full as well but steak from the Capital has a lot of stuff that helps put on weight. They want everything to taste good, "I tell him. "They don't worry about what the food will do to their bodies because they have medicines and procedures that can make you fat or thin or whatever you want to be.

Peeta nods but otherwise says nothing. He is standing and looking over my room when our steaks are delivered. I thank the Avox and wait for her to leave before I whisk the knives out of the steaks. I dig around under my mattress until I find the one from the train.

I can't help but grin when Peeta's eyes go wide with understanding. I step in the bathroom and rummage around until I find a lipstick. I smear a bull's-eye on the wall at the height of a human head and pace myself about ten yards away. I take three shots and manage to lodge all three in the target. None of the throws would have been good enough to kill someone instantly and I feel myself deflate a little.

From the desk that he is leaning against, Peeta is watching me with awe. I hand the knives over to him and he shakily steps up to the line I made in the plush carpet by dragging my toe against the grain of the carpet fibers. He makes one of his knives stick but it was way wide of hitting the target and it was near the right hand again. I retrieve the knives.

'Try again so I can watch," I tell Peeta. Our hands touch as he receives the knives from me and I feel a tingle. I guess it's been a while since I've toughed anyone else if feeling his fingertips brush my hand can make me shiver.

The second round he threw are pretty much the same as his first. I don't retrieve the knives this time.

"Which eye are you aiming with?"

"Is there a difference?" Peeta asks with a shrug.

I huff. "Yes! One of your eyes are better than the other. You have to aim with the better eye. Everyone is like that. Here," I say and I hold my thumb out in front of me. "Hold you're your thumb out and make sure the tip of your thumb is in the middle of the bull's-eye. Do this with _both_ eyes open. Now, close your left eye. Is your thumb still square in the target like it was before you closed your left eye?"

Peeta nods his head and I am annoyed seeing him nod while aiming. "You're aiming. Don't nod your head, or talk when unnecessary, or make any unneeded movements. It throws your aim off and scares away the Game…or Tributes."

This time Peeta says nothing but I can see him opening his eyes and centering his thumb again before he closes his left eye. He drops his hand and turns his head to me. "My thumb is still centered when I close my left eye. What does that mean?"

"It means, " I tell him, "that you need to aim with your right eye. Try closing your right eye this time."

He does as I say and I stifle a laugh when he realizes that by closing his right eye and aiming with his left, he was way off the mark in knife throwing.

Eagerly, he picks up a knife and makes a throw. This time he makes a stick in the bull's-eye and I applaud quietly.

We continue to practice for another hour and we are feeling better about having skills for the arena.

Dinner that night is quiet. There's not much to say. Effie and Haymitch entertain us with their bickering. It's after we leave the table that things get interesting. Haymitch started quizzing us on talents and I brought up Peeta being a good wrestler. Haymitch shoved Peeta's should and when he stumbled off balance, he snorted his drink up his nose laughing. "This kid? A wrestler? An old drunk guy could beat him. I wasn't even _trying _to knock him off balance."

I look over to Peeta and see him looking annoyed. I know Haymitch better than he does and so I know how to handle him. Since Haymitch has his back to me, I put my finger to my lips knowing Effie to give away what I was about to do. I stand on the couch to give me some height and I launch myself at Haymitch's back. Predictably, he drops the apple he had been holding, clutches his drink tightly and stumbles to the floor with me on his back. I laugh as I grab his arm and twist it backwards, incapacitating him. I can hear Peeta laughing and Effie giggling uncomfortably.

I stand up and back away from Haymitch before he can grab his knife or throw me into the wall. I don't weigh much and an aware Haymitch could easily overpower me. After grumbling about almost spilling his liquor, Haymitch begrudgingly gives me a backhanded compliment about my technique.

The last day of training is filled with panic. The Tributes are frantically trying to get their last practicing in before the afternoon session. There seems to be a lot of traffic at the knife station from the other Tributes so I move on to the weights and exercise a little while looking around the training center. It seems like District 2's Cato and Clove are working with knives and spears and hand to hand combat. I note this and study the other Careers. Some of them are at the archery and are failing at getting any head shots. There are a few boys working in the spear throwing station and the rest of the Tributes seem to be huddled at the survival and edible plant stations. I find this odd. Most mentors tell kids to learn a weaponry skill. Haymitch is the only mentor that I've met who tells his Tributes to learn survival skills and avoid the weapons and bloodbath.

Lunch is tense. Not a single one of the Tributes talks to the others. Everyone eats before we have to leave and wait. I don't pay any attention to the other Tributes as I lean back against the wall and close my eyes, feigning a nap. I need to seem as calm and collected as possible. I sense a disturbance and crack an eye open to see a little girl sit down near me. She is dark skinned and she smiles at me when she sees that I am looking at her. There is hardly anyone else waiting by this point. Just District 11 and 12. The girl from 10 is in with the Gamemakers currently so I allow myself to nod at her. She is sitting only 3 feet away from me when there are tons of other places to sit. I say nothing but close my eyes again, puzzled.

When it's just Peeta and I, we go over our strategies again. Peeta is to throw the weights around, proving how strong he is. His plan is to throw a few spears and some knives to prove that he is capable.

I keep going back and forth with my own plan. Score big and draw the attention to myself? They already will target me because I am handy with a bow. Will a high score make the other Tributes think I am really good with a bow or will they think that I held back at the knife station? If I score low it won't do me any good because no one will believe it. If I score low, though, then the other Tributes will wonder why I didn't show off. They already know I am worth at least a seven. The Gamemakers will give me a 7 based on my first Games alone.

I wish Peeta luck as his turn is announced. My voice catches slightly and I hope that he doesn't notice it.

I pace nervously. Should I try for a really high score and hope to get a high enough score to make the other Tributes assume it was the bow or just try to score around a 7 and let them wonder if I am holding back. I really wish I had Haymitch right now. This is the only thing he is good at other than drinking. Strategy.

At the announcement for me to enter the training center, I walk in with my head held high and instantly know what I will do.

Not a single Gamemaker is paying attention. They are eating and chatting and they have their backs to me. I jog to the weight station, grab a hand weight and jog over to the survival station. I climb the tree that is there. Once high enough, I drop the weight. It makes a loud shatter that causes the Gamemakers to jerk around, looking for the source of the noise. I jump down nimbly from the tree.

"Now that you have graced me with your attention," I grit my teeth and jog to the bow station. I grab about three clay birds and three arrows. I set the bow on the ground, strap on the quiver and hold the three birds. I toss the birds one by one as high as I can in the air. I use the toe of my boots to flick my bow up into my hands and in one motion, string up an arrow and shoot the first bird. I proceed to shoot the second and third bird before they hit the ground. It's not my best work but I'll take it. I toss the bow aside and jog over to the knife station. I pick up three knives and throw them into the head of the dummy. I am lucky on the last knife. It was a little high but still went through the dummy's scalp.

I cross into the spear station and throw a few spears. These throws aren't as impressive and when I turn around, the Gamemakers are ignoring me again. I have just put on a show and I have no idea if they were even watching or not.

I go back to the bow and quiver. My hands are shaking in anger. I retrieve another arrow. This time instead of aiming at the targets, I aim and shoot through the apple in the pig's mouth that was sitting on the table in the middle of the Gamemaker's feast. I smile when I see my arrow pierce through he center of the apple and lodge into the wall with the apple cored around it. I throw the bow to the ground in my anger. I am usually very careful with weaponry as they are a rare commodity back home but I am too angry at the Capitol right now to take care of their bow.

I take a very large and exaggerated bow before I storm out of the room. I let the door slam behind me and I fume all the way up the elevator. I began to cool off when the thought crosses my mind that I may have just signed my own death warrant.

Peeta doesn't say anything when he sees me step off the elevator with a tear trailing down my y cheek. I ignore him and lock myself in my room. I cry furiously as I throw knives around the room for lack of anything better to do. Eventually, I tire myself out and fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of a knock on my door. I answer it to see an Avox carrying to steaks. I see Peeta slip in after her as she sets the steaks down and leaves us alone. I grab a steak and ignore the knife. I tear into it with my teeth and I ssee Peeta do the same. I am unsure whether he is doing this to make me feel better or if we are simply indulging in no manners since we rarely have a chance to be ourselves without putting on a show for anyone.

We finish our steaks and sit on the floor leaning against my bed in silence. I feel like I should say something but I don't know what to say. Again, Peeta comes through by asking me a question about school. We talk until Effie knocks to invite me to dinner. She had no idea that Peeta was in here with me because I can hear her knock on Peeta's door a few moments later.

As soon as Peeta leaves I stash our practice knives and take a shower. I hit a couple buttons and get a lavender smelling soap. I select an outfit that is a little dressier than I have been choosing. Maybe if I look nice and appear more girly or fragile, Haymitch will keep the lecture to himself when he hears what I did.

Dinner is tense as Haymitch waits for one of us to tell him what happened. I am unsure why Peeta isn't offering up information. He didn't shoot an arrow at the Gamemakers. He might be keeping quiet because he knows that I don't want to talk about my session. We've just finished eating a warm carrot pie when Haymitch throws his napkin down.

"Spill," he says.

I sigh. Peeta, sensing my reluctance, speaks up. "They hardly paid me any attention. I did my best but they were laughing and cutting up. I think they may have been singing a drinking song."

Haymitch shakes his head. "But you did good, right? There may have been at least one who was watching and can give you a score."

Peeta rubs the back of his neck. "I doubt any of the were watching. I did well so if they were I might make a decent score."

I exhale. "They watched me a little. They really were ignoring me so I climbed up high and dropped a weight to get their attention."

Haymitch smiles at me. His smile makes me feel bad because I don't want to disappoint him. "They watched me for a minute maybe. I put on an awesome show but when I looked at them, they had gone back to their feast so…"

Everyone has leaned forward in anticipation. "So, what did you do? Drop another weight?" Peeta asks.

I shake my head. Haymitch is scrutinizing me in a way that lets me know that he figured out that I did something bad.

"Out with it," Haymitch grunts. "What did you do? Yell at them?"

"No. I shot an arrow through the apple in their roasted pig's mouth."

Effie gasps dramatically and stumbles backward away from the chair she had just stood from. Peeta looks at me and I can see that he is impressed.

Haymitch is rubbing the spot on the bridge of his nose the way he always does when I've irritated him. He reaches for his drink only to find it missing. He looks around the table and spied Peeta holding his glass of wine and his flask.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll give that back."

"How about I keep it until after you get done prepping us for our interviews tomorrow? I'd really prefer you to be in full use of your faculties when helping me get ready for my interview," Peeta counters.

"Give it back, Peeta. You're better off if he has a little bit of a buzz rather than when he is sober.

Peeta reluctantly hands back the glass of wine. "I'll keep this one. You stick to lighter beverages until then, deal?"

I look at Haymitch with a raised eyebrow. I've never been successful in getting Haymitch to stop drinking nor have I ever wanted to. Peeta seems to have a magical touch when it comes to getting his way.

Haymitch grumbles and shoves himself away from the table. "Between the two of you, might none of us make it back home to 12."

I shrug at Peeta when I see him looking at me to make sense of Haymitch's statement. I follow Haymitch and Effie into the tv room and carefully sit down on one end of the couch. Effie sits next to me and places her hand over mine and squeezes. Sometimes Effie can be a decent person.

"If the Gamemakers were paying attention, maybe they will realize what a great selection of Tributes 12 has to offer. This would help me out in the Capital greatly."

Peeta shakes his head in amusement as I pull my hand out from under hers and pat her arm awkwardly.

Before the scores are announced, Claudius Templesmith and Caesar Flickerman are discussing their predictions. Typically, they predict a high score for Cato and Clove of 2 and Thresh of 11. On a scale of 0 to 12, they are hoping to see the majority of the scores in the 7-10 range. They don't know what to think of some of the younger Tributes like Rue from 11 or the crippled boy from 9. When they show my picture, the comment on how I received a 6 my first year as a Tribute and how I slide under the radar before nailing Tributes left and right in the Arena. They discuss in great depth how talented I am with a bow and I groan out loud. All of the other Tributes are listening to this and it is reinforcing their memories of how I performed in my Games. All people can remember of me is that I appeared to be a meek little girl and then suddenly I was fiercely killing Tributes right and left with a bow and surviving up in the trees.

I see Peeta is watching me and not the tv and I can't help the blush that takes over my face. I don't have long to reflect on this as they begin announcing the scores. District one got an 8 each. District 2 received a 10 and a 9. Cato must really be stoked at his 10. I think of the muscled boy who threw his spears expertly and I know that he is probably the tribute to beat. The other District's tributes get an arrangement of 4, 5, 6, and 7. The lowest score of 4 was only received by three Tributes. I didn't pay them any attention. I'd rather not think about how helpless some of the Tributes are. The score of 7 went to Rue, Thresh and some girl who I secretly nicknamed "Foxface" because she looked like a fox to me.

"Why do you think Thresh scored so low," I ask Haymitch. He scratches his head. "Dunno, Sweetheart. Do you believe he is stronger than a 7?" I nod my head and sense Peeta nodding as well. He is so big that it's impossible not to imagine that he could do a lot of damage.

"Then I would guess that as big as he is, he hasn't got the skills to back it up or he didn't get much attention from the Gamemakers. I really doubt he can pull off the innocent strategy that you and Johanna managed.

I snorted at the use of Johanna's name and the word innocent in the same sentence. She is far from innocent.

We all hush immediately when Peeta's face flashes across the screen. The number 10 stuns us all. We clap him on the back and shout excitedly. Our celebration is sort lived as my picture is on the screen and the number 13 is staring out at me.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I blink as I see a 13 on the screen and I can't help but cover my face with my hands as if that will keep the world from seeing how red my face is. I shouldn't be secretly pleased by being the first Tribute to receive a score higher than a 10 in the history of the Games. I can't help but feel like the Gamemakers are trying to help make my life in the Arena hell. I guess this is their own form of payback for the arrow I shot at them.

Peeta is touching my shoulder gently and Effie is going on and on about how much attention Peeta and I have brought to District 12. I can't help but look at Haymitch before I say anything. Haymitch is swirling the water around in his glass (wishing it were stronger, no doubt) and staring out the window. His face is blank. I don't know what to make of it. Haymitch can either be a good actor; being pleased in a genuine way that I can tell means he is really upset, or he can be really upset. He doesn't even know what to feel right now. I stand up and flee the room. I slam my door behind me.

I sink down into my pillows and scream. My chances of protecting myself or Peeta are slimmer. I shouldn't have let my anger get the better of me. I guess I was already going to be scoring high because I'm a Victor and because I can shoot an arrow and survive but a 13 was really uncalled for. We don't even _have_ a 13. There _is_ no 13 anymore. The Capitol blew it off the map during the Dark Days. They could have given me a 12 or even an 11 and still made their point.

I throw some objects around my room to relieve the tension but in the end I am still upset and my room is a mess. I throw my knives up at the ceiling and vaguely wonder why I haven't been arrested for practicing outside of the training room.

Eventually I hear a tentative knock at my door. I ignore it. It can't be Haymitch. He would pound on the door and yell at me to answer him. Effie would be announcing through the door what it is she needs in a sing song voice. Avoxes only arrive when ordered and Cinna won't be back until the day after tomorrow. That only leaves Peeta but I really don't want to face him. I don't want to see his blue eyes, reminding me that I am going to be hard pressed to return the favor of saving his life.

The night passes by agonizingly slow. I can't sleep so I churn the night away by tossing, turning, and running in place. I try to tire myself out to the point of exhaustion but my days in the woods and Games have given me stamina.

When the sun starts to shine off the shiny tops of the Capital buildings, I take a shower. Two days until I go into the Arena again. I go light on the scented products hoping that I can scrub out the smell before the games begin. This stuff they use here in the Capital will off all the Game within a mile.

I am the first to arrive to breakfast and I eat as much mat as I can. I have stuffed myself when Peeta shows up. Neither one of us points out that we are up before the others. We both know that sleep is hard to come by when death is looming ahead.

I notice that Peeta, like me, is stocking up on meats. Ham seems to be the only thing on his plate. I nod my head at him and he smiles at me. My stomach flips. I look away from him and stare out the window.

Peeta and I sit and speak with Effie as she eats her breakfast. By the time Haymitch joins us, I am eating a second breakfast. He grunts at us and reaches for a plate of eggs. I am unsure if he has been drinking and is hung-over or if he is sober and in withdrawal. His stages all look alike.

I make a joke to Haymitch about his cycles and how they all look the same just like a PMSing woman but he doesn't laugh. He looks away. I gulp. I must have really threw a wrench into our angle.

"Lets have it," I say, throwing my napkin down. "What are we going to do for interviews?"

Haymitch takes a bite and looks between Peeta and I.

"You can't act so I'm guessing any planning or scheming on your part is wasted," Haymitch sneers at me. "You," He nods at Peeta. "You might not be all bad. Pretend I'm Snow and compliment me."

Peeta looks at me as if to see if Haymitch is serious. I say nothing s he turns to Haymitch with a smile. He smiles so naturally that at first I think he is about to laugh at Haymitch's "joke" but then he speaks.

"President Snow, I have always admired your rose. Could you tell me how the Capital is able to grow such beautiful flowers?"

Haymitch claps his hands. "Good. At least one of you is good at being believable. You pointed out something odd about the president without being rude. 'S good."

I agree. President Snow always has a white rose in his lapel and they reek. Anyone who has met him knows this. There are rumors among the Victors as to why. Peeta has never met him but anyone who pays attention to the addresses we are forced to watch will know that he is never seen without it.

We adjourn to the living room where Haymitch grills us on things to say. He tries to work on our acting skills for an hour or so before giving up on me again. He will tell me what to say but it comes out monotone. When Peeta says my line I wonder why I didn't say it like he did. Peeta is charming and pleasing to talk to. In interview, I am stage-frightened and nervous. I don't think fast and have a hard time wording my responses.

"Katniss, try just saying what you think. Don't try to consider how people will take it. Just answer," Peeta tells me.

That didn't work. When Haymitch asks me how much I love being back at the Capital, I respond with, "I don't. I hate the Capital," which prompts Haymitch to tell Peeta that there was a reason why Peeta is a Tribute, not a Mentor.

Eventually, Haymitch shoos me away to work with Effie. I sigh knowing there is nothing he can do for me. I'm not 12 anymore and the audience will pay me attention this time. I have to think of something that will work on my own.

I ignore Effie as she tries to convince me that I need to sit like a lady. I'm a Victor and I didn't get this way by crossing my legs when sitting on tree branches.

When Effie insists I wear heels, I snort at her and my response is so profane that she slams the door behind her when she leaves. I flop down on my bed and think.

I am a warrior. The Capital loves me because I acted timid then set records for killing in the Arena. I am now pretending to have no new skills. I am pretending to dislike/ignore everyone else because I am confident that I will win. I "nothing" Peeta because I don't want to give anyone the impression that we will ally. I will protect him from behind the scenes as we try to procure a bow and or other weapons without being in the bloodbath.

I repeat this to myself over and over. Maybe if I can say this to myself often enough, I will believe and act like it. It was easy to act during training because it was true. I didn't want anything to do with the other Tributes. I don't want their faces haunting me more than necessary. All I had to do was ignore Peeta. There are so many angles to the role we are playing that I feel as if I am tripped up in a mass of vines.

By the time Cinna arrives, I have the mantra memorized. Cinna and the prep team dress me up in a tight fitting grey dress. I think he is keeping up with the smoky theme. I have my hair straightened into soft waves that flow down my back. There are dark smudge of eye shadow highlighting my eyes and I have on a bracelet that has onyx gems all around it. Cinna even clipped a pair of matching earrings to my unpierced ears. The dress he has me wearing is another shade of gray. It is tight fitting at the top and shows off my shoulders. The straps are so thin they might as well not be there. They criss-cross across my shoulder blades. The skirt of the dress flares out around my legs. I can feel the material that makes the dress stand out around my thighs scratch me every time I move. Since my legs are bare from my knees down, Cinna has allowed me to wear a type of boot. It doesn't lace up to my knees the way my hunting boots do. This boot is short, stopping at my ankle. The leather is shiny and the laces are delicate. These boots are for looking at, not hunting in. To give the audience a reminder that I am a hunter, a warrior but at the same time I can look good.

"I thought that we'd need a little more physical appeal to the audience. Don't want them getting bored with you, do we?" Cinna asks me.

I gulp. As much as I _want_ them to be bored with me, my life depends on it. I nod but say nothing. Cinna understands and continues to work on fastening some of my bangs up into a clip.

"Have you worked out what to say in your interview?" Cinna questions. He knows this is the part that I struggle with.

"I am a warrior," I monotone. "I am back and I will win. Peeta is just another Tribute and they are all equally in trouble as soon as the 60 seconds are up."

I can see Cinna raising an eyebrow at me. I am unsure what it is that I've said that he thinks is odd so I continue.

"I am…sexy, and fierce. I will win the Capital's affection again by being the only Victor to win the Games a second time. I have no plans to ally with anyone because I don't work with others period. Peeta will have to make his way through the Games by himself."

A cough comes from Cinna. "You seem to focus a little too much on Peeta. I know you are trying to make sure to throw people off your track by making sure that you and he aren't associating with each other but if you mention him specifically in your interview it will cause people to be suspicious. You need to think of him as no different than the other Tributes so that you don't mention him specifically. Unless you want to play the "I hate him" angle. The only reason to consider him more than the other

Tributes is if you love him, hate him, or fear him. "

"You're right," I say. "Peeta is another Tribute to me. He means nothing to me. Peeta is the same as any other District. I don't associate with Peeta any more than I do with them."

"You're still doing it. You can't even say 'Peeta'. Just saying his name makes it sound like you know him well enough to call him informally. Say "my fellow District Tribute". Don't mention him by name. It will stand out less."

Cinna goes back to checking and rechecking my look while I rephrase the mantra in my head.

"Is there a reason why it's hard for you to not say his name?" Cinna asks me without looking at me.

I immediately shake my head. Cinna hands hesitate from where they are buffing my fancy boots. I see he is trying to catch my eye but I ignore him.

"Nope. No reason at all. Peeta is just another Tribute." I curse myself silently for doing it again and try to ignore the smile Cinna is wearing.

I am far past nervous when it's time to line up back stage. I remind myself that I am a warrior to these people and I hold my head high and stalk out on stage with as much grace as I can.

The interviews go by painstakingly. I try to guess the angles that people are playing and I try to notice anything that gives away their game. The District 1 girl didn't have to worry about what she said. Her dress did the talking. Her body was almost entirely on display and the audience was drooling at the sight of her. Cato from District 2 is cocky. The District 5 girl is mysterious and elusive.

The little girl from 11, Rue, is being cute by saying that she can take on the other Tributes and they all look weak to her. The crowd laughs at her confidence because she sounds sincere. When Caesar asks her about how she'll deal with me the little girl replies, "She's more worried about how to deal with me than I am of her."

I want to grin at this expert reply but I keep looking in the crowd, keeping my face impassive.

District 11's Thresh answers with one to two words tops and gets away with it. Caesar even plays up his intimidation to help Thresh out. I know that intimidation like his is very important. Not many Tributes will go after Thresh until it's necessary.

I hear Caesar announcing my name and I stand robotically. I am a warrior.

I grasp Caesar's hand a little too tightly as I shake it and he comically mimes to the crowd that it hurt. I smirk but don't apologize to him. I am a warrior.

"So, Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire! I think the question most people want to know the answer to is how did it feel to hear your sister's name at the Reaping?"

Of course Caesar had to ask the one question that would damage my façade.

I sigh, "My sister is on 12. I don't think she has what it takes to be in the Games."

I say nothing more. No hint of what she means to me. I don't want to tell people anymore about her because I am working very hard to keep Prim as separate from the Games as possible.

Caesar smiles to the audience. "I remember another District 12 twelve year-old coming out of the woodwork and winning the Games. You think that District 12 needed you to step in and win again?"

I wish I could thank Caesar somehow. He always seems to know what it is I'm playing at and throws me a rope. Of course the only time I'm ever allowed to speak to Caesar is for interviews.

I clear my throat and little. "Yes, Caesar. I think that I'm a much better Tribute than Mentor. I think District 12 needs a winner and I am more than capable, as you know, of winning this year. "

"I'd say you might even be _more_ capable this year than you were those years ago. In fact, I bet that many people can remember your Games clearly as they are somewhat recent. Have you any tricks up your sleeve?"

I think for a moment on how to word my answer. I am a warrior and I work alone.

"I've been working in the Games longer than the other Tributes so I'd say my experience in how to handle the emotional side of being a Tribute would be my best advantage."

A puzzled look comes over Caesar's face and I am unsure how much of it is fake. "What type of emotional experience would you say you have?" I can tell by his tone that he thinks I'm about to say something that could be misconstrued as rebellious.

"I don't form attachments. I know from watching that the best way to win is to work alone. It's easiest. You don't weigh yourself down with emotional baggage and you are free to do what you need to do to win."

I outright lying and I feel my palms start to sweat. Caesar says something about how he would agree that I have that advantage in my favor and I can see his hand relax around the microphone.

"Well, in parting, what would you like to say to our audience Katniss?" Caesar asks me.

In the crowd I see Haymitch sitting with the other Mentors and I know that he's tensed up while he waits for me to say something stupid.

With a smile I turn to Caesar and say, "I'm a sure bet, Caesar. Who would bet against a sure deal? I've done it before and you can bet I'll get my way."

The buzzer goes off and the audience goes nuts as I take my seat again.

Peeta stand and jogs over to Caesar eagerly when his name is called. I can see Effie shaking her head in the audience. Running in formal wear has got to be rule 27 on her list of 100 things not to do in an interview. Peeta gives Caesar a two-handed shake and sits down in such a manner that I would've thought he and Caesar were old friends. They laugh and joke about the showers in the Capital and sniff each other before they settle down for the real interview.

"So Peeta, what's it like being a Tribute next to Katniss Everdeen?"

I see Peeta let out a breath. "Intimidating. She's a Victor, you know? It's pretty intense being in the same room with her. Luckily she doesn't talk to me much. I'd probably say something embarrassing."

If every camera wasn't trained on me I know I'd be blushing but I am trying very hard to maintain my warrior appeal. I smirk as if I am amused that I've intimidated Peeta.

"Well, Peeta, you're not alone. My hand still hurts. That girl is _strong_!"

The audience agrees and they laugh.

"So has she given you any advice for the Arena? She was a Mentor as well, you know."

Peeta fidgets. "I uh…well…I can't do this." He turns around to look at where I am sitting off to the side of the stage. "I'm sorry, Katniss."

I am confused. I school my face blank. I have a bad feeling about what he is about to say. I should never have allowed Haymitch to coach him alone.

Peeta scoots forward in his chair and looks Casear in the eye. "I can't lie. Not if one of us could possibly die. I love her. She loves me. We're in love and I want everyone to know it just in case I die. I have loved Katniss since I was five years old. I won't play this game, pretending I don't love you."

He said the last part to me, turned around in his seat as his eyes plead with mine. I feel my face grow hot with fury. I look down to avoid giving the cameras a good view.

The crowd is buzzing excitedly. This is a first. Tributes have trashed talked each other but never before has a Tribute declared love for another Tribute.

I avoid clenching my hands and cover my face with my hands as if embarrassed.

"Wow! Peeta! That is one heck of a statement. You and Katniss Everdeen. Hmmm, well, I guess that complicates things for you in the Arena."

I look up just in time to see Peeta's face fall. He truly looks heartbroken. I even see his eyes frow glassy. His elbows are on his knees and his head falls into his hands. He looks like he might want rip his hair out.

He sighs and looks up at Caesar. "Yeah, it does."

The buzzer goes off and Caesar claps Peeta on the back as all the Tributes stand and exit the stage. We file out of the building and into cars. Peacekeepers flank us, two to every Tribute. I get into a car that has the boy from District 7 or 8, I can't remember which. His two Peacekeepers sit on either side of him just as mine do. I fume during the ride back to the training center. I fume all the way up the elevate. As soon s the kid from 8 steps off onto the 8th floor and the doors close behind him, I kick the wall of the elevator. I dance around for a moment holding my foot. These boots were only meant to like nice, apparently. My toes is throbbing.

When I arrive at our floor, I step off and pace. When the door finally opens revealing Peeta, I grab him by the throat and push him into the wall next to the elevator. Peeta is caught by surprise and his eyes are huge.

"What the _hell_ was that about?" I hiss through clenched teeth. " You ruined everything! What do you think you're playing at? We had a plan, Peeta!"

I grab the collar of his shirt and push him against the wall. I know Peeta is stronger than I am so if he had wanted to, he could fight me easily.

The elevator chimes and Effie, Cinna, Portia and Haymitch come barreling out. I hear Effie let out a squeal of horror. Haymitch barks at me to back off but I kick my leg out at him to fend him off.

"What was it, Peeta? Did you decide to try to win the sympathy vote? If you didn't want to ally any more, all you had to do was say so. You didn't have to go behind my back, violate my trust, and turn me into a laughing stock."

I get one more shove in before Haymitch has recovered from where I kicked him. He picks me up easily and throws me over his shoulder. I kick and squirm at being treated like a five year old in front of everyone. Haymitch holds tight and wrestles me down the hall and into my room. I scream obscenities at him but he just swears them right back. He opens the door to my room and walks in. He slams the door behind him and keeps walking. I can see where he is headed now and I fight harder, using my pretty nails to dig into his neck. As he turns on the water to the shower and throws me in, I throw a punch at his jaw that lands.

Haymitch staggers backwards and calls me a name that I've never been called before.

"That boy did you a favor! You can't be so_stupid _as to think that he would go up there and "ruin" you both, do you? Use your head, girl!"

I cuss him again. "Whatever plan you have won't work. There's no way I'll be let near the bow. Now we're both targets at the bloodbath!"

The water has logged my dressed down and I can taste the make up in my mouth. I swipe a hand arcoss my face and smear it some more. Haymitch turns the water blast up and steps back.

"You cool off and when you're done throwing your tantrum, come out and eat. We've got a lot to discuss."

He slams the bathroom door behind him. I adjust the shower knobs angrily. I have no choice _but_ to shower now. I scrub my face raw and peel the dress off as carefully as I can. Cinna's work is always impressive to me, even if I don't particularly enjoy wearing them.

I jam my arms into the first blouse I find. It's some silky shirt with a high neck and no sleeves. I put on the matching skirt and find the only pair of shoes that have no heels.

When I leave the room I avoid slamming the door. I braid my wet hair as I walk. I want answers and don't have time to waste we're going into the Arena tomorrow.

Everyone is already at dinner, Peeta too even though he had to shower off his make up as well.

As calmly as possibly I say through a gritted jaw, "How am I supposed to get a bow with every single one of the other Tributes against not just me, but Peeta as well? They'll be aiming for us the second their hands touch a weapon now that they know we work together."

Haymitch snorts in his drink. "You think we're too stupid to think of that? Your little plan, Sweetheart, had you running away from the Cornucopia weaponless while Peeta was left trying to secure a bow. IF he had survived the bloodbath, how did you expect him to find you?

"Not only that," Haymitch continues as he takes a bite of his gravy smothered lobster, "but how did you expect the boy to get any Sponsors? Your plan was very lopsided and while the boy was fine with it, I was not."

"The boy" seemed to be blushing at Haymitch revealing that he had no problem getting my bow for me. I feel a flush of angry at Haymitch making me sound like a heartless person who tricked Peeta into getting himself killed while I took it easy.

"Peeta wasn't going to get the bow in the bloodbath," I say. "He could have teamed up with the Careers or snuck into their camp and stole it."

Haymitch laughs as if I've said something hysterical. Cinna, Portia and Effie look uneasy as they nibble on their food.

"So this new plan of yours is better? Now how will we get any weapons?" I've got him there, I think. That is until Haymitch answers.

"You are really _are_ as stupid as you seem , Sweetheart. Sponsors. That's the only way you win this Game. Whatever angle you play, the other Tributes are gunning for you. Neither one of you has a chance at that bow. In fact, I wouldn't be so sure that the Gamemakers would even offer a bow this year. I can't provide for you two immediately with that old angle. I can sell the star-crossed lovers of 12, though"

He is right, I am loathe to admit it.

"Look, Katniss," Peeta says. "I know we didn't discuss it with you first but this plan is better. I don't know why I did see it before. If we play like we're in love with each other, we'll both get the sympathy vote. We'll both get Sponsors and we can stick together in the Arena without the bloodbath. If we can just escape the bloodbath, we'll be able to receive weapons from Haymitch."

I sniff as I pick at the brussel sprout pie in front of me. "You could have asked me about it before you put me on display like that. I would have known how to act."

Cinna speaks up, "I think you reacted just fine. You looked embarrassed that he announced it and a little annoyed that he spilled the beans. It looked perfectly natural and very in-character.

Effie and Portia are quick to agree that the audience believed that I looked embarrassed at being ousted rather than angry.

I stab my food angrily. I fight tears as I think of all the ways my plan would have gotten Peeta hurt or killed. It was selfish of me to ask him to team up with me. How will I repay my debt if I get him killed? It's true I need my bow to help him but if getting my bow is what kills him, what good would my intention have been?

"Look," Peeta say softly. "This will let us run away from the bloodbath together and receive help from Haymitch together. You can defend us from the trees and I can manage the one on one confrontations. If we play this part right, we'll steal all the Sponsors from the other Tributes."

I consider what Peeta means by "play this right" and realize that we'll be portraying two people who love each other.

"So you kept this a secret because I'm a bad actor but now you expect me to pretend I'm in love?" I hate how I can hear my voice catch.

Peeta shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Effie looks back and forth between Peeta and I while Cinna is smiling.

"I already thought of that and I have a plan for how to make that work," Haymitch says switching from water to wine. I don't say anything. He probably needs a drink now rather than staying up all night before the Games wishing for one.

I huff, "Are you going to let me in on how you're going to make me into a good enough actress to pull this off inside the Arena?"

"No," Haymitch says simply."My plan has nothing to do with you. You just be you. A nicer you. Just try not to bite his head off and follow his direction. He'll do all the thinking for you so just play along."

Peeta ducks his head down as he take a bite of his dinner roll. I slouch in my seat causing Effie to chastise me.

Dinner doesn't last much longer. The replay of the interview comes on and everyone else celebrates the successful interviews with a cake that has candles that spout flames. I excuse myself to my room early on. Haymitch clasps my shoulder and looks like he wants to say something but he simply shakes his head. Effie and Portia each hug me tightly. I mutter to Peeta that I'll see him soon and slip away before anyone can cry. I'll be seeing Cinna in the morning so I don't bother starting with my goodbyes to him.

I sleep fitfully. My dreams are vivid and I wake up from them sweating profusely. I drink water to hydrate but that just makes me urinate. I finally get out of bed and pad down the hallway until I reach the stairs to the roof. I always come here when I can't sleep. I reach the last stair when I see Peeta. He hears the door click behind me and jerks around to see me. Suddenly I'm very aware that I'm only in a night dress.

I walk over to the edge where he stands. We look out across the city in silence before either of us speaks.

"I'm sorry," Peeta says. He has turned to look at me and I shift uncomfortably. "I shouldn't have said that without letting you know. Now you're committed to this plan against your will."

I shake my head. "No. Haymitch is right. My plan was a bad one. It would've gotten you killed. I'm sorry I didn't see that sooner. There's a reason Haymitch comes up with the ideas around here. Mine stink. It would have been selfish to ask you to get a bow for me. "

Before I even finish saying it, Peeta is arguing, "You would have used it to protect me so it's no different than me working to get a weapon for myself."

We say nothing for a long time. The air is warm but the wind always fierce up here. I don't bother trying to warm up. I have some cold nights ahead of me so I need to adjust to the conditions.

"How do you want to do it?" Peeta asks me. He sees my look of confusion and adds, "The strategy, I mean."

With a sigh, I tell him, "We stick together. From the moment we step off the platform until one or both of us…"

I see him nod slowly out the corner of my eye. "We won't be next to each other on our platforms. You take off running to the closest area that offers protection. I will run to you. Where ever you go, I'll find you. Once you start running, you keep going until it gets dark. Aim to reach a stream of water if you can. If not, a lake and if not that, a pond and if not a pond find a puddle. Water is important."

I take a breath. "If we get separated at the bloodbath, you keep looking for water and I'll find you. I'm a hunter and I will be able to find you. You don't want to leave any markings for the other Tributes to find so watch your footprints and the ashes from your fires. If you light one, put a lot of distance between you and it before you dare sleep."

With a glance I can see he is paying rapt attention to my instructions so I go on. "I will catch up to you. I'm fast and I have endurance. Do not worry about me or try to help me. If we get separated, I don't want to walk around calling your name. It's a dead giveaway to other that someone is near. Instead, I'll whistle like this." I whistle the last three notes of the song my rather used to sing me to sleep with and then repeat it.

"If you hear that, stay put. I'm near and I'm coming to find you."

"What about food?" Peeta asks.

I think for a moment. "Did you learn anything about snares or what's edible?" Peeta nods slowly. I can tell he isn't confident in his knowledge.

"I don't know the Arena yet but I'd say that setting a snare and eating some berries or greens would be best. Dandelion greens or even pine bark is the easiest thing to find. We have Sponsors but if we have enough to get a bow, we will have to earn back all that sponsorship money in order to have medicine or food sent to us."

We are silent again. It's not an uncomfortable silence. It's more like the type of silence when you are alone and thinking without anyone else in the room. Gale is almost never silent like this. Even in the woods when silence is a necessity to trapping game, Gale runs his mouth about something as soon as my arrow pierces the animal.

"I guess we'll have to play it by ear. The acting…just don't think about it. I'm good enough for the both of us. We'll play it up big as soon as we need something or as soon as we get the bow."

'Play it up big.' What does that even mean? What else could we possibly discuss on camera that would draw in more Sponsors? He's already confessed love for me and hinted at me loving him back. What could top that? The realization dawns on me. He means physical affection. Kissing, hugging, hand holding. Tender moments that "prove" our love in a way that will make people root for us.

I cross my arms over my chest tightly. Peeta will be leading me in acting out our being in love. It will be on camera and all of Panem will witness it.

"Katniss?"

Looking over, I can see that Peeta is looking at me worriedly. I try to muster up an expression that will not worry him but suddenly the impending doom and all that goes with it are zooming around my head. I have to keep Peeta safe AND act like his girlfriend AND keep myself alive long enough to do it all. I can't help feeling sorry for myself that I have to give up my first kiss on screen.

Marriage wasn't something I ever wanted. I saw what love did to my mother and I never wanted to be that weak. To be so in love with someone that losing them meant you lost yourself? I had to take care of Prim, myself and my mother at the age of 11. I never want to have a child who has to experience what I did and I never want them facing the Reapings or starvation. No good comes from love or babies. But, if I was honest with myself, I guess I saw myself marrying Gale. Not for love but because being married would allow us to live together and would make providing for our families easier. I never thought about the specifics of it though. I felt no remorse in knowing that I would be kissing Peeta. I had no feeling about it at all. I simply didn't want to be made fun of. We have pride in the Seam and whether I live or not, I didn't want to be a laughing stock. I would die with nothing to be embarrassed of.

I swallow and turn to face Peeta. "I have a condition. For the acting, I mean."

Peeta looks me in the eye patiently but says nothing. I continue.

"I've….never kissed anyone. I don't want the Capital to rob me of my first kiss. I'd rather it was on my own terms. If I'm no good at it, I'd rather it not be seen by the nation."

Peeta laughs. I stare at him incredulously. He stops when he sees that he hurt my feelings and tries to explain.

"I just have a hard time picturing you being _bad_ at something, Katniss. You excel at everything you do. But I agree about wanting to do as much on your own terms as possible. That's why I'm up here. I don't know how I'll be when the Games begin. Some Tributes go crazy and I just don't want to be one of them that changes. I want to be me. Does that make sense?"

I nod. It wouldn't made sense to me during my first Game but understand too well, now. Peeta's in a better place before his Game than I was during my first one.

"I don't even know how to begin," I whisper.

His face softens as he turns to look at me and I hate showing him this weakness.

"I told you I'd lead you. Just, talk to me for a minute, okay? I want to help make this an experience of our own, not theirs."

I tighten my arms and Peeta notices the chill I'm feeling. He wraps his arms around mine, pulling me into a hug. His warmth is instantaneous and let me arms hang down by my side for a moment.

Peeta rubs his across my partially bare back to help warm me up and I allow myself to clutch at his shirt. I relax my head into his chest and realize that he really does smell great.

Every time his fingers brush across the parts of my shoulder that are barred by my night dress, I feel a tingle shoot through me. I clutch his shirt tighter and sink my nose deeper into his chest.

Peeta's hand slow down and I feel his hands spread out along my lower back. The tingles are taking over me and I take feel him lean back away from me to see me face.

I'm tempted to burrow deeper into him but I peek up and see him looking at me so intently that I am puzzled at his emotion. How does he feel kissing a girl that he has to pretend to love for two more weeks?

One of his hands leave my waist and stroke my cheek. "I've been looking forward to this for so long, Katniss. You have no idea."

I breathe in quickly and wet my lips nervously. Peeta leans his head in and I feel his lip touch mine. They are soft and warm. I had never wasted time thinking about boys and kissing like some girls back home do but I never would have imagined how pleasant the feeling of Peeta's lips on mine would be.

With a squeeze up of my waist, Peeta deepens the kiss. His lips part mine and I stretch up taller to help him reach my lips better. His large hand splays out across my back and pulls our bodies together. I can feel his body heat seeping into me. As he moves his lips, I try to mimic him. His hand pulls me tighter when I do this and I can tell that I must've done something right.

His other hand moves across my cheek and into my hair. The braid has come undone and I can feel the wind whipping my hair as Peeta's fingers cup the back of my head.

I feel a new sensation when Peeta sweeps his tongue across my lips. I blush to hear a soft moan come from my mouth. I unfist his shirt and slide my hands up to his shoulders. Without even thinking, my hands curl themselves into the hair at the nape of his neck. His response to me is so immediate that I am shocked. My back is now against the wall and his hand is gripping my hip tightly. His lips kiss mine intensely, with a passion that is consuming.

I try to match him with everything he does. I can feel a hunger now that I have never felt before. Is this what causes people to forget all practicality and have babies? The thought flees my mind as Peeta's tongue enters my mouth. I am about to try to mimic him when the door to the roof bangs open and Haymitch stumbles in.

He is drunk, that much is obvious. He blinks at the sight of us against the wall, hands around each other but I don't know if he really sees us because the next thing he does is vomit. He stumbles and falls right into the puddle. Peeta sighs and backs away from me. My hands fall off his shoulders and down to my side. I mouth the words, "Thank you" to Peeta. He smiles softly and leans in to kiss my cheek.

"No, thank _you_," he murmurs in my ear. He cups my cheek again and opens his mouth but closes it again. He stalks over to Haymitch and hoists him up. I jog over to open the door and Peeta eases Haymitch down the stairs. I follow them down, helping Peeta when I can to steer Haymitch when we get back to our floor, Peeta pauses outside Haymitch's door.

"I'll take it from here," he tells me.

I look Haymitch in the face.

"Sober up and stay that way. We're counting on you," I tell him.

Haymitch is barely lucid but I can him snort. He waves his finger about a foot to the left of me.

"You just stay alive, Sweetheart."

Peeta drags Haymitch in and lets the door close between us without another glance.

In my bed, I see that I have about 5 hours before I'm to be taken. I sing my father's song to myself and can't help but cry myself to sleep as I think of how I may never get to kiss someone freely ever again.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Sorry. There was some confusion from the last chapter. Yes, Gale did kiss her in chapter 3 when he came to say goodbye. Notice that Katniss says in the previous chapter that she has never been kissed. This is a subconscious indication on her part that Gale's kiss didn't count. She never kissed Gale back and so it was not a mistake, her telling Peeta she had never been kissed. In her mind, she never has.

I never managed to fall asleep. My eyes are groggy when I open them to see Cinna in my room. I have tossed and turned the rest of the night until I was no longer conscious but still awake. I couldn't shut my mind off, to my own detriment. Peeta's kiss still lingers in my mind. What's worse is the tingles that I felt haven't gone away yet. I am disgusted that my body craves his touch after one kiss. I have always been the master of my own emotions and my body but now I feel powerless.

Cinna urges me out of bed and we go up to the rood together with no words. We board the hovercraft and travel to the arena while they inject me with my tracker. I drink so much water to hydrate that I am ready to use the bathroom to second we reach the arena. I try not to sigh at the thought that this could be my last modern convenience.

The suits this year are much more to my taste that they were during my last Game. The pants are a deep shade of green and have pockets on the sides of the knees. The boots are sturdy and made of supple leather with long laces. The shirt is a simple shirt with a pocket on the left breast, black in color. The jacket is also black and seems to be made of a very thin, lightweight material.

"It will reflect body heat," Cinna tells me quietly. "The temperature may be cold at night."

Cinna and I are silent as we await the warning. I contemplate what a good friend Cinna has been to me. I want to tell him how his friendship has made being a Victor bearable. I open my mouth and attempt to speak but nothing comes out. Cinna smiles at me softly and open his arms. I try not to rush into them but I am beginning to tremble at the idea of never seeing him again. He does his best to settle me but I am getting more worked up as the moment to launch approaches.

"We are ALL betting on you, Girl on Fire. ALL of us who you hold dear," Cinna tells me. I look up at him. He nods his head to my wordless question as to who is speaking of. I think of the other Victors whom I have come to know in the past few years. Even the ones that I find annoying. They are all betting on me. Of course, the designers and Victors can't bet money but I understand Cinna. Finnick, Johanna, Chaff, and Seeder. All of the previous Victors are rooting for me.

"I had assumed I would have people who want me to win but that isn't much help in doing the actual winning," I tell him.

Cinna shakes his head. "You underestimate the power of confidence."

I raise an eyebrow at him but say nothing. They are announcing the launch. He squeezes me tight and pushes me to the glass tube. With a quick hand, Cinna pins my mockingjay token to my jacket.

"Thank you," I get out.

Cinna smiles at me and I know that he understands what I am thanking him for.

I step into the glass chute and the door closes on me automatically and I stare at him until the chute has moved me up too high to be able to see him any longer.

When I surface, the sunlight is so bright that I blink as I try to adjust to it. I glance around, frantically trying to spot Peeta. Is is directly opposite of me. I can see him about 200 yards away. Behind him I see the line of trees. It's about a 500 yard distance between Peeta and the trees. A glance over my own shoulder confirms that I am also the same distance from trees. There is a lake in view and the cornucopia shows the promise of many different weapons and survival supplies. I ignore this in favor of scouting out the best route. I catch Peeta's eye. They are wide and his stance lends to the idea that he is terrified. I nod my head towards the trees behind him. He nods his head and nervously shifts his feet to accommodate his new direction. With only 20 seconds left, I look the other Tributes. Most of the Careers are set up to start gunning for the supplies. I see some of the other Tributes are looking around in wonder. It really is something to look at. My first Game I stood for a split second too long on my plate because I was in awe of surroundings.

Peeta looks at me and shakes his head. I follow his glance toward the cornucopia. There is a bow and a quiver sitting in the pile of swords and knives. That's mine!

His head shakes from side to side even bigger. His head jerks backwards to the trees behind him. I nod my head and tear my head away from the booty spilling out of the big horn. I trace the pathway around the outside circles of Tributes and see if it can reach Peeta while keeping me out of danger. It can as long as I am fast. On the other hand, a path straight through the middle will get me the bow and take me to Peeta faster.

I see a few backpacks scattered here and there and a knife catches my eye about ten feet in front of me. The boy on the platform to my right sees me looking at it and he shifts his feet in a lunge to go for the knife. I have only 5 seconds left to decide my pathway. To run and leave all of the weapons or go for the bow that will protect us. Cinna's words repeat in my head. The cannon has blasted. Tributes are sprinting across the circle to grab items and suddenly I stumble off of my own platform and surge around the platforms to reach Peeta's.

An object whizzes by my head and I throw myself to the ground. I look up to see a girl fall forward with a knife lodged in her back. I crawl to her on my elbows and wretch the knife out of her spine and am just able to barrel roll away before another knife strikes the dirt where I was.

I jump to my feet to see the girl from District 2 running forward to grab the knife she just threw. I am closer. I roll to the knife and my fingers close around the handle just a split second sooner than District 2. We wrestle for a moment and I pull my knee up between us and force her away from me. She is strong and weighs about 20 pounds more than I do having grown up with more food. I feel her twist the knife so the point is aimed at my neck. I still have the knife I took from that other girl's spine in my right hand. I look up to see District 2 smile at me.

"Not so tough now, are we 12?"

I gather up as much spit as I can and before spitting in her face. As expected, she instinctually goes to wipe her face. As soon as she relinquishes her grip on the knife, I use the butt of it to strike a blow into her forehead. My knee is still between us and I manage to shove her off of me. I jump up and run. By now everyone is fighting over weapons and so I have just a few seconds to disappear into the trees before they begin pursuing those who escaped the cornucopia.

I am almost to where Peeta's platform is when I hear the shouts of the Careers. They have noted me and they are yelling at each other to come after me. I spot a backpack to my left and I veer towards it. A dagger lodges in the ground where the pack was but I don't look to see who threw it.

I stick the pack on my back as I run for the trees. My heart is beating out of my chest as I hear them pursing me. I run as fast as I can for I dare not slow down. I start listing to the right of where Peeta would have entered the woods. I do not want them stumbling across Peeta as they come after me.

I can hear their footsteps as they crash through the woods behind me. I keep to the trees and dart behind them so that they can't see me. I push myself to running faster than I ever have before. I contemplate jumping up a tree to hide but they will surely be looking for me there. It won't be safe to climb a tree until I have more distance between us. I am still sprinting when I almost fall into a stream of water. Seeing that it is deep enough to swim in, I jump in and swim with the current. It is a risk, yes, but this will get me away from the Careers fast enough that I can double back the way Peeta would have gone. I

swim for all I am worth. I have no concept of how long it has been since I jumped in the river but I get out where I believe to be near the neck of the woods that I could find Peeta. I find the best tree possible and climb it as high as I dare. This tree has a fork in one of the branches that make it perfect for sleeping.

Once I have been in the tree for nearly an hour, I decide it's safe to check my supplies. I have two knives. Both are perfect for throwing and also have a serrated edge near the handle. In the backpack I some dried beef strips, a package of nuts, an empty water canister, a wad of rope, a reel of wire, a pair of sunglasses, a small bottle of iodine, a pair of socks, a thin black sleeping bag, a few matches and a flashlight. The backpack is a bright color so I quickly strip off my jacket and put the backpack on before zipping my jacket up around it. A few layers of mud and ashes will camouflage the backpack but for now I can keep it hidden.

I allow myself to sleep for a while and when I wake up it is to the sound of the mockingjays singing. I have only an hour or two before dusk will be falling. I sit up straight and rearrange my supplies before shimming down the tree. I whistle my three notes. The mockingjays pick it up and I hear it echo all around me. I take off back in the direction of the Cornucopia thinking that Peeta will not have gone as far as I did. I walk for an hour or so, whistling as I go before the light starts disappearing. I am just about to start picking a tree when I spot the blood. The bottom drops out of my stomach. Suddenly I am frantically tracking the owner of the blood.

A dozen scenarios cross my mind as I find more blood. The amount of blood increases and I begin to truly worry over what I will find. I can hear the river this time as I get close to it. I see a smear of blood on some rocks in the middle of the river and I scrub it out with my jacket sleeve. I whistle again but this time I hear the birds singing a different song. It has three notes but unlike mine, the middle note is higher than the first and last. It is the opposite of my tune. Peeta!

I trudge across the river in the near dark searching for Peeta as the sun disappears.

_"Peeta!_" I hiss. "Pee-ta!" I am looking far away from me when I sense rather than hear him. I look down and almost scream when I see his face pop out of the dirt. He has smear mud on his face to camouflage him from being visible. His teeth are so white in contrast to the mud on his face that it's almost comical. Almost.

"Peeta!," I fall to my knees and start clearing mud away from him. I can feel my heart soar at seeing him alive. The last half hour has been the most dreadful, wondering what I would find.

"Hey, Sweetheart," he says with a grin. I scrowl at Haymitch's nickname for me but I am still clearing the mud from him so I say nothing.

"I see you made it through the Careers pursuit," Peeta tells me.

I nod my head. "But it looks like I lead them straight to you, though. I really thought I had lead them far enough away. "

"You did," Peeta smiles.

My hand stops in its motion to clear the mud away from him and I stare at him. He shifts a little under my gaze.

"I ducked for cover when they came through the trees. I didn't go anywhere after I got into the woods because I watching you. When they ran by, I tailed them and when they got too close I made some noise to draw them away."

"That was stupid, Peeta," is what I blurt out after a long length of silence following his admission. "You could have been killed."

"So could you," he replies while staring at the ground. "But here we are and with a few supplies, too," Peeta says while eyeing the hunch on my back.

I work in seething anger at how Peeta seems to care nothing for the efforts I am making to keep him alive. When I finally clear him free, I place a hand between his shoulder blades and urge him to sit up. He winces and I realize that he is really not okay.

I swallow. "Where is it?"

I get a blank stare in return for my efforts. "The wound, Peeta. I tracked your blood trail here. You wouldn't be lying here in the mud if you were able to keep running. Now, where is it?" The last part was hissed through clenched teeth.

Peeta motions to his leg and I see now the blood that is still seeping out of his wound. It's enough that it makes me queezy.

I stumble backward and busy myself filling our canteen with water from the backpack. I add the Iodine and put it back in the pack. I grab one of the socks and put a generous amount of iodine on the sock before stepping back to Peeta.

I hear a chuckle coming from Peeta. "What's so funny right now?"

"You'll have to open your eyes to see where to put that."

My eye fly open and I glare at him. "You do it, then." With that, I slap the sock into his palm and go back to keeping myself busy with spying a tree to set up camp in. The sun has gone down and the only light that lingers is a very dark purple around us. I can see shapes and sizes but not much else.

"I was only teasing, Katniss. It only struck me as funny because I'm in pain and because you're the strongest person I know. It seemed funny," Peeta says to me. I glance at him and see he is making a strained face as he puts the sock on his hip and presses down.

"We need to get you up a tree before it gets too dark to even see them," I tell him while I walk over to the closest tree that is good for climbing. I shiver a little as I am still wet and the air around me is cooling quickly.

Peeta lets out a shaky breath."I am definitely not able to climb a tree today, Katniss. Not even on my better days can I climb like you."

I turn around angrily. "We can't just stay here, Peeta. If you won't climb a tree what do you suggest?"

I feel a pang of regret at my harsh words when I he replies quietly, "It's not that I _won't_ it's more that I _can't_."

With a sigh, I turn around and go back to Peeta and kneel by his side. "Wh should we do for cover tonight, then?"

I can just make out the smile that crosses Peeta's face. "There are some rocks just over there. Why don't we make camp in one of them that looks like a cave?"

It takes us a long time to stand Peeta up and to cross the rocks. When we reach the one that Peeta intended, it is so pitch black that I can't see my own hand in front of my face. We collapse in the rock-cave the minute we get through the mouth of it. I shiver so violently when I take off my jacket to retrieve the flashlight out of the backpack that Peeta hears my teeth chatter.

"Here, let's get you warm," Peeta says to me from somewhere on the ground. I sense rather than see that his arms are open, willing me to lay down with him.

I continue to fish around for the flashlight before I put my jacket back on. I turn it on and hand it to Peeta for him to hold. I pull the sleeping bag out of the backpack and set it and the water on the ground. I sit down on the ground and use the wire from the spool to clumsily make a snare that will trap a small to medium size game and snatch the flashlight away from Peeta. I quietly walk to the nearest tree and string up my snare. I scour the ground for something edible to eat but the flashlight is not strong enough for me to feel secure feeding anything I find to Peeta.

When I enter the cave again, I see him huddled up with the sleeping bag. His jacket is lying next to him. I quickly turn off the flashlight, put it back in the pack and toe off my boots. I need them to dry or else I will get blisters on my feet from walking around in soggy boots. Bad feet equals no food tomorrow. This is a lesson I learned back when my father was still teaching me how to hunt. I pry them open as best I can so that they will dry better and so that I can jam them on in a hurry. I set the backpack next to my boots .

I stand awkwardly in the dark for a moment before I hear Peeta ask me, "Are you going to lay down with me?"

I shake my head. "One of us needs to stand guard and since you're injured, I get first shift."

I hear Peeta sit up straighter. "I'm well enough to take first shift."

I snort. "You lost too much blood to sit upright. Lay back and sleep if you can. I'll wake you when it's your turn."

Peeta must've agreed because I hear him lay back down. He falls asleep not to long after and I stealthily walk over to him. I test his temperature and find him to be completely warm inside the sleeping bag so I grab his jacket and walk back to the cave door where I had been.

It feels like a long time has passed before I hear Peeta stirring. He is tossing his head side to side. I can barely see him now, with the sun beginning to rise. He looks to be having a nightmare. I watch him from my position as guard. I can see that he is starting to sweat.

When I put my hand to his forehead an hour later, I can feel my stomach drop. Peeta has a fever. His wound cannot be superficial if he already has a fever from it. This is not good.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As quickly as I can, I peel the sleeping bag away from Peeta's tossing form. I gently pull the sock away from his hip and the sight of the wound causes me to gag. I cover my mouth with my left hand as I shakily reach for the iodine. The bottle is already so small. I am unsure whether I should use it all on Peeta to keep him alive by preventing infection or if I should keep the iodine to stave off illness from water poisoning. Water poisoning isn't a surety but Peeta will definitely be getting worse from infection if I don't stop it now.

I chug the rest of the water and leave the cave to fill it up again. When I have a new jug of water prepped with iodine, I return to the cave. I cover Peeta's wound in iodine, hoping it doesn't cause him enough pain to fully wake him up. I am able to get half the bottle of iodine spread out over his wound before I cover it with the clean sock. I use the knife to rip the sleeves off of my shirt and tie them around Peeta's hip to hold the sock there over the wound. This part is very difficult since I am being very mindful not to tough any private areas. It is helpful that Peeta has stopped thrashing and tossing around. I have just secured the sock when I realize that the sock is too thick to allow any air in to the wound. I untie the makeshift bandage and cut the sock open. I cover the wound and retie the bandage. I am about to stand up and see about getting us some food when Peeta lays his hand on my arm.

"Thank you," he tells me while looking me in the eye.

I mumble a 'You're welcome" and take the sleeping bag off of him. I busy myself with folding it up and putting it in the pack.

Peeta clears his throat. "You're quite the healer."

I shake my head. "No. Prim. Prim is the healer. She takes after Mother. Me? I don't have any talent for that sort of thing."

"You're being modest," Peeta says with a smile. "You seemed very intuitive as you designed my sock-bandage."

I shrug. "I've memorized a few things from watching my mother and Prim take care of people back home. It's nothing that anyone else couldn't do having seen them work."

"Can you take a compliment?"

I look up from where I've been tightening the laces on my boots.

Peeta shoves himself up to slouch against the wall. "Also, didn't you _promise_ to wake me up for my shift?"

"You weren't in a fit enough state to keep watch," I say. "I'm going to check my snare and see what signs of food there are out there. Half the Tributes are dead from the bloodbath so I think we might have one more day before the Gamemakers start interfering. "

"Who?" Peeta asks. He was asleep last night when the cannons went off so it's up to me to tell him.

"The only ones left are District 1, 2, the boy from 3, the boy from 4, the girl from 5, the boy from 7, 11, and us."

We are silent for a moment as we consider that 12 kids are dead already. I did a good job this year of taking no note of the other district aside from some of the Careers.

With a sigh, Peeta turns to me and asks, "What weapons do we have?"

I had him one of the two knives that I have procured. I show him the content of the backpack and we are both grateful to have as much as we have.

"Wonder what we have to do to get some food around here," Peeta says. I smile thinking of the train. Then, it clicks. Haymitch was certain that if Peeta and I stuck together rather than trying to get a bow, we would get more sponsors. He said that I needed to follow Peeta's lead.

I quietly walk over to kneel next to Peeta. I fold my hands in my lap and wait for him to say something. I have left my snares alone in favor of trying to do what Haymitch intended. I feel Peeta's hand cover mine rather than see them through the dank light peeking through the cave door. They are tough and yet soft from kneading dough in the bakery.

"Thank you for taking care of me," he whispers to me.

I nod my head and keep staring down at my lap where his hand covers my two. I turn one hand so that I can hold his hand. I look up and see him smile at me. The tingle is back.

"We need to get you well. You're going to have to drink plenty of water and eat whatever I can find to feed you," I tell him.

"Katniss," Peeta says.

I look at him again and I see him leaning towards. I met him halfway. I keep repeating to myself that all I need to do is follow his lead.

When his face is near mine, he whispers in my ear, "Remember, we're in love. It's okay to kiss me anytime you want to."

I smile at him. "I'll keep that in mind," I say even though I am mad at myself for instantly wanting to fulfill that wish.

"What's on the agenda for us?"

"Food and water and rest," I say. "You aren't well enough to do much so you are going to eat and drink and rest until we get you well enough to move out of this cave. I will be doing whatever I can to get us food and to keep us supplied with water. Guess I'll have to find a way to camouflage the cave door just in case some other Tributes come across us."

"I should be helping you do all of this." Peeta says guiltily. "You shouldn't have to take care of us both. I wouldn't harbor any bad feelings if you wanted to go off on your own and…you know, survive."

Angrily, I tell him, "What good would that do? I can't survive if you're off somewhere dying. It's too distracting."

"Why is it distracting, Katniss?"

I shake my head. I don't want to know the answer. "We need to get food. If we don't eat soon neither one of us will be well."

"Why is my being wounded a distraction, Katniss?" This time he says it more loudly and more insistently. "Say something," he whispers.

"I'm not good at saying something, Peeta. You know this," I threw that last part in because I know that Panem must think we've already defined our relationship with each other based on how we came across in the interview.

A soft squeeze on my hand causes me to look up at Peeta from the spot on the cave floor where I've been staring. His other hand comes up to stroke my cheek.

"Will you try? Say anything. I just need to know where I stand. I'm sorry I outed my feelings for you in the interview. I should have told you what I was planning to do. I didn't mean to make you feel awkward. I think I might have assumed more about your feelings for me than might be true and I would like to know where we stand after I violated your trust."

I translate Peeta's statement in my head. He is sorry for plotting our strategy with Haymitch and he is sorry for telling the world he loved me since it's not true and puts me in the awkward spot of acting like we are in love. The way he has worded it, though, allows me to choose the role I want to play. I can either confess I am in love with him for the sponsors and act full out or I can be a little more truthful with my reply and have less acting to do but win less sponsors. If I go for more sponsors and I mess up the acting we will lose all of our sponsors.

I grip his hand a little tighter. "I can't focus when you might be in danger. I don't like it when you are hurt. I wish that we could stay in this cave and never leave."

I pause to consider if this is enough. Peeta is silent but he is gripping my hand back. I look up and he is looking at me softly. The look on his face strikes a memory. My mother was in pain. Labor, to be exact. My father sat next to her and whispered encouragements and stroked her face tenderly while she screamed at him to make the pain stop. He looked at her as if he would rather sit next to her while she cursed him rather than be anywhere else. Peeta has that look and I get a nagging feeling that he isn't acting.

My hand darts out of his and I press the inside of my wrist against his temple. The fever is still there but it isn't getting worse.

"You're probably not even lucid at the moment, Peeta. Why don't we finish this conversation later."

His hand reaches up to grab my wrist before I can take my arm away from his face.

"I'd really like to know, Katniss. I know you were shocked when I changed our plan and said what said in the interview but I meant what I said. I want you to confirm how you feel. Please let me know if I was wrong in interpreting your feelings."

To me it sounds as if Peeta is giving me an out of the whole star-crossed lovers act. Maybe he thinks we've got all of the money we can get from sponsors and we can call it quits now. I know that I will do what I have to do in order to bring one of us home.

"I don't…" I clear my throat and try again. "I am glad you decided to tell people how things are between us. My plan of pretending we hated each other would not have worked. It would have gotten you killed and my job here is to keep you alive."

Peeta's grip on my hand is too tight. His hand, which had been lightly stroking my face, stilled.

"What do you mean, 'your job'?"

Shakily, I reply, "I volunteered for Prim of course because…" I let the statement stand at that. Panem doesn't need an admission of my feelings for Prim. "When your name was called I knew I was in trouble. This time I had to choose who to keep alive; myself or my-"

Peeta has leaned forward in anticipation. He is really good at acting.

"Your what, Katniss?" His voice is so gentle that I find myself leaning in.

After a moment, I answer him. "My boy with the bread."

A smile spreads across his face. "I didn't think you remembered that. "

"How could I ever forget something like that?"

Peeta's thumb is tracing patterns on myhand. I can almost hear Haymitch.

_Tell him, Sweetheart. You can't get sponsors by keeping secrets._

The pit of stomach feels like jelly. His thumb's caress is soothing and I like it.

"You saved my life ad lives of my family that day. You did me than take a beating to give me a couple loaves of burnt bread. You gave me hope. "

Peeta is silent, hanging on my words. "I saw a dandelion while waiting for you after school that next day. It reminded me of my father and of how he used to feed his family. I realized that I could do it too. I can never repay you for that."

I can feel Peeta's breath on my neck as he leans into me. "You never have to repay me for that. It was an act of kindness for the girl that I love."

I jerk backwards to look at his face. The look of intensity is back. His hands are still warm on mine.

"Katniss," his eyes search mine. "When I met you on the first day of school when we were five, that was the day that I fell into you."

I desperately want to look away but I keep looking at him for the cameras face. This situation no longer feels staged and I am suddenly uncomfortable saying anything in front of the cameras.

"When my father pointed you out, I saw a girl but later when I heard you sing in music class…I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life trying to make you mine."

"I don't sing," I say dryly,

Peeta shakes his head. "You have no idea the effect you have on people."

His hand is stroking my hair. I unconsciously lean into his hand.

His lips are at my ear. "What are you thinking, Katniss?"

I can't think. I want to be able to push him away and to tell him that I don't want to feel lightheaded and dizzy when he gets near. His lips are in such close proximity to mine that I feel drunk. My thoughts on acting for the cameras and not wanting to feel this way are no longer on my mind. Instead I am tipping chin towards him.

His lips are as soft as they were days ago. He brushes them against mine and I feel a shock of electricity shoot through me. His hand is cupping the back of my neck and the other is gently gripping my thigh. I lean into him until I can feel the warmth radiating off of him.

A thunk sounds outside the door of the cave and I immediately jump nto my feet. I grab the knife and tip toe to the cave. I hear Peeta shifting as if to stand up and I make a motion for him to be still and quiet.

I see nothing out of the ordinary so I stick my head out just enough to get a glimpse of what's to the side of the cave. My eye stops on a paracute. I rush to grab it and then dart back inside the cave.

"What is it," Peeta asks.

"Too small to be a bow," I reply dissapointedly. "May there's a meal in there."

With my legs folded under me, I sit down next to Peeta and open the canister attached to the parachute. I crack it open to find a salve that stinks.

"It's for your leg," I tell Peeta. "It must be a really bad wound if Haymitch finds medicine for it more important than food or weaponry."

"He shouldn't have wasted our sponsorship on it," Peeta says quietly.

With a shake of my head, I reach to see his wound. "It must be bad enough to die from if this," I gesture to the canister, "is more important to your survival than food."

"Still," Peeta says.

Angrily, I rip the fabric of his pant leg a little too hard. Peeta winces. With a deep breath, I glance to be sure of where the wound is, and I begin glopping the salve into the wound to avoid rubbing on the raw tissues.

Peeta's other leg is twitching and kicking at the ground as he fight through the pain of having the insides of his wound touched by the medicine. He is still trying to manage the pain after I've put a good deal of medicine in his wound. I still have half the canister and I tuck it into the backpack for safe keeping.

When Peeta smiles at me shyly about 15 minutes later I know that the medicine has done some good and I no longer want to kick myself in the head for causing him pain.

"It's already knitting together," Peeta tells me.

I nod my head but keep busy rearranging the stuff in the backpack.

"How exactly did you come by that wound?" I ask him.

"Cato," Peeta tells me. "That big male Career from 2. He got me with a sword and left me to die. I would have if it weren't for you."

"You wouldn't have been hurt in the first place if it weren't for me," I tell him.

He looks away not wanting to argue the point and I stand up.

"We are in need of food so I will be back with something," I say to him.

When Peeta starts to stand up, I turn around and glare until he sits back down.

"Rest," Peeta. "You got tonight's first watch and you need your strength."

I vaguely wonder why I feel butterflies at the thought of sleeping while Peeta looks out for me.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I check my snares and am disappointed in what I find. One snare was triggered but empty and the others were still untouched. Whatever got through my snare must have been fast. Still, Peeta is on the mend and I need to get food into us.

As I traveled between snares I notice some berries. I put them into the bag and also find a few roots that are edible. There really isn't much else to eat except some pine bark. I have the feeling that pine bark might be something too rough for Peeta's stomach, having grown up in the merchant side of town. I go ahead and gather some of the needles and bark. If anything the pine needles will soften the cave floor.

When I come back to the cave, Peeta is sleeping peacefully and I notice that the jug of water that I left is empty. I set the back pack down and go back to the river and fill it back up. I've just filled it up when I notice smoke coming from about two hundred yards north. It looks to be a fire. I quickly run back to the cave.

As soon as I have flung myself into the cave I am gathering up all of our supplies and am tugging Peeta to stand. He is sleepy but he complies. I am tugging him to the door of the cave, not being mindful of his wound at all.

"What's happened?" Peeta asks me quickly.

I make a motion for him to be quiet only for him to repeat himself. I reach over and put a hand over his mouth. I stare intently out of the cave and look for signs of life.

I release his mouth and whisper to him, "There's a fire not very far from here. That's means someone is close by."

"Who?" Peeta asks.

I roll my eyes at him. "It's either a Tribute setting up camp or a diversion technique. I don't know which. I need to get you up a tree where I can protect us ."

Peeta's hand grips my upper arm. "I can't climb, Katniss. Especially not like this. If it's another Tribute and not the Careers then we might be okay to stay here."

I hiss at him. "We _can't___stay here! I will not risk our lives because our camp is set up so close to another Tribute. The Careers will hunt them down and we are too close to them to be able to stay safe. "

"Running out of the cave as soon as we see smoke is not the best plan, either," Peeta says gently. "If it is a Career pack trying to flush some of us out of hiding we'll have played into their trap."

I consider this for a moment. "The fire is too far away from here. Unless they've got a large enough Career pack to encircle a 300 yard radius, then it's not a trap."

Peeta nods his head and taking a shaky step closer to the mouth of the cave to see the smoke more clearly. "So what's the plan. We take off out of here and go where?" I think we're better off being concealed here rather than me hobbling along behind you and then sleeping on the ground in plain sight."

I sigh because he is right. There are two of us and I've got to remember that I should be protecting Peeta as much as I can.

After a few more moments of debate with myself I concede that Peeta is right. I go outside and pull a muscle in my lower back pushing a boulder that weighed three times my own weight in front of the cave mouth. I bite my lip and force myself to push another boulder partially in front of the mouth of the cave from the other direction. With a little zig zagging on your belly, you can get into and out of the cave. I slosh through the river and dart behind a tree to see how the cave looks from a distance. As far as I can tell, no one would dream to think there was a cave in that pile of rocks.

Satisfied, I go back across the river quickly and squirm back into the cave. It is darker inside once I get in. Without the mouth of the cave exposed, natural light has a hard time getting into the cave.

Peeta is leaning against the cave wall and I sit down beside him. I divide the berries and roots that I gathered. It takes us less than a minute to devour it all. The hunger seems worse now that we've had a few bites and stopped. I force the entire canteen of water into Peeta knowing that he needs it more than I do. It's not safe to leave the cave again until we know if there is a Tribute near us or if they've moved on.

I feel Peeta shift his arms and I realize that I am still wearing his jacket. I quickly take it off and watch as Peeta shrugs into it. He opens his arms up and I scoot closer so that I can allow him to put his arm around me. Gale has done this for me before on hunting trips. I feel him slide his hand up and down my arm to create some friction for warmth. I place my head on the hollow at the base of his neck. This feels nothing like sharing warmth with Gale. Peeta molds himself around me and when I move, he moves with me. I feel so comfortable that I drift off just as Peeta's hand begins to stroke my hair. I turn my nose into his neck and can't help but sigh at the feeling of protection.

When I wake up, it is dusk. Peeta hasn't moved at all, it seems, since I fell asleep. My face is buried in his neck. I keep still, savoring the moment of private bliss. It is my hunger that brings reality back to me. I am hungry and so is Peeta. We are trapped in the cave with only the food in the pack. I have no bow and my snares aren't good enough to trap game. The only way to get food right now is from Haymitch. It is this thought that causes me to press a kiss into Peeta's neck. He turns and looks down at me with smoldering eyes. How I would recognize those blue eyes anywhere. I have many years of looking at him only to find him looking back at me to not have his eyes memorized. I have never seen this expression before. I can feel my face heating up so I press my nose further into his neck and work on memorizing the way Peeta smells.

We are still for a moment. I feel the butterflies in my stomach return and I am unsure if it is stagefright or is truly because of my proximity to Peeta. I am wondering if he has forgotten that I am trying to follow his lead in the whole acting in love thing. His hand moves from my upper arm and I feel him grip my waist tightly. He brings his mouth to my ear as he pulls me to him for what will look like a hug to the cameras. He inhales and exhales loudly so that it will seem as if he is smelling my hair.

"No matter what happens from here on out Katniss, never question the validity of anything I say or do. I will not lie or do anything that I do not wish to do from here on out."

It is whispered directly into my ear for secrecy but his warm breath has increased the butterflies. There is no way I can lie to myself about Peeta anymore.

I lean far enough away from Peeta so that he can look into my eyes and see me nod. I hope he understands my nod as more that just confirmation that I understand what he was told me. I have accepted my own feelings but that doesn't make me suddenly wish to talk about them.

His eyes search mine for a minute and then he smiles. I feel a smile on my own face as he tugs on my waist. His mouth is on mine and it isn't enough. I reach up and grip the front of his jacket and push on him. He leans against the cave wall while pulling on me. I am in his lap and suddenly the Games have disappeared. I am not concerned with Tributes or Gamemakers or even food because hunger for Peeta overrides everything. All I am and all I want is Peeta. I m pushing my mouth against his and his is pressing back. His hand are warm where my jacket has ridden up.

My whole life I have always known that I would never want to feel what parents feel when their child is reaped. Or even the anxiety of having children whose names are in the Reaping. Children come from marriage and marriage comes from love. Love leads to stupid decisions like my mother, who was a merchant's daughter, choosing to marry my father, who was from the Seam. She let her heart rule her mind and look where she is today? She also allowed her heart to take over her mind when my father died. Her love for Prim and me was not great enough to compete with the devastation she felt at the loss of her husband. I never want to experience that.

My whole existence has been set on finding and providing enough food to provide for so long that feeling emotions has been the last thing on my list. I don't know how I can feel this for Peeta already when I hardly know him. Maybe it is because I have already been in the Games that I now understand what there is to be lost in the world. Maybe it's because Peeta once did something so selfless that I can never get away from remembering it when I see him. Or maybe, just maybe, in all the years of trying to decide how to say thank you, I've noticed enough about him that I couldn't the draw to him through my layers of numbness. I am feeling it now tenfold and I feel a pang of remorse as I remember making fun of girls who allowed boys to drag them off to the slag heap during lunch or after school. I feel powerless against the rush of electricity coursing through me.

This hunger does not localize itself to my stomach. Instead I can feel the hunger in my toes, in my finger and especially in my lips. I reach up to grip the back of Peeta's neck and pull myself up higher against him. I have never done this ever before but Peeta moans softly and I know that I am doing something right.

His wavy blonde hair is incredibly soft and I weave my fingers into it. His hand on my waist is now a grip on my hip. He isn't gripping me tight enough. The cave begins to feel warm. It's all I can do not to moan out loud when Peeta's other hand cups the back of my neck. I sit down on Peeta's lap rather than kneeling in it. Peeta doesn't censor the moan that this elicits. I have just unzipped my jacket and yanked it off when I hear the clunk outside the cave. I recognize the sound after the last parachute and I ignore it as does Peeta. With my jacket off I can feel the heat better. It's all around me. It's in Peeta breath, it's coming from my cheeks. It's hanging in the air all around us.

Peeta puts an inch of space between our lips and the distance feels like a whole days journey on foot. I try to close the gap but Peeta whispers frantically, "I meant it, Katniss. I meant what I said to you."

The Capitol and all of Panem will be thinking that he is referring to what he said in his interview but I know he is speaking of what he last whispered in my ear.

I nod and pull on his neck. His lips are only on mine for a moment before he has pulled back again. "Whatever you want from me is yours, Katniss. It always has been and it always will be. What happens in the Game doesn't affect that. I've had you picked out for 10 years and I want you to know it."

I am so far into this moment that I don't even feel anger when Peeta reaches up to wipe the tear off of my cheek. I crush myself into him, finding new ways to bring us closer than we were a second ago and I hear a second cliking outside indicating that another parachute has landed.

"Not now, Haymitch!" I growl against Peeta's lips. I have just slipped my tongue in his mouth when a third clink sounds from outside the cave.

I peel myself off of Peeta and mutter a few choice insults at Haymitch. Not all of them are clean and will surely be edited out. The others will be left in for entertainment value. I worm my way outside the cave and quickly scoop up the three parachutes. It must be safe outside the cave if Haymitch has sent us parachutes.

When I get back inside the cave I leave the parachutes where I dropped them and rush back to Peeta, intent on picking up where we left off. Peeta smiles and laughs and tries to push me back gently. I kiss his jaw and he stops trying to stand up. Realizing our moment is over, I sigh and hug him close. He hugs me back and strokes my hair. I turn my head towards him. I can feel him trying to angle so that he can look down at me in the near darkness.

"We're a team, you and I. I'm not used to being on a team but I want to be on your team."

I feel the smile spread across his face and I realize that I have been smiling as well. My face hurts from using the unused muscles so much in the past half hour.

Peeta leans his forehead against mine. "You've been on my team for so long, Katniss. You've no idea how wonderful it is to hear that I'm on your team as well."

I can hardly believe it when a fourth clink comes from outside the cave. I kick a rock into the wall in frustration.

"Didn't know you enjoyed meddling in other people's affairs so much, Haymitch." Peeta says to him while I go through the boulders disguising the cave opening from outsiders.

I bring in the parachute and drag them all next to Peeta. I sit down as close to him as I can manage without being in his lap.

Peeta leans away. "We'd better not get to close. I don't think we can afford another parachute tonight. I grimace at the truth of that statement until we open the first gift.

Inside is a meal fit for the president himself. There must be five courses in the basket that was attached to the parachute.

The second parachute contains a two canteens of water and another dropper of iodine.

The third parachute is a medical kit and the fourth was a fishing rod that can be taken apart so that it will fit in a our pack.

"Food and medical supplies," I mutter. With the cost of all of the items we received, surely a bow and an arrow or two could have been afforded. Why would Haymitch withhold a bow from me? It must be something I can achieve in the Arena. The only way I've ever received a gift from Haymitch is when it is something needed for my survival and I can't get it for myself.

"Thanks for the food but what am I supposed to do? Carve one?"

Peeta, who is a much better person than I am, says, "Thank you so much to all who have contributed to these gifts we've received. I want to say that now in case we die.

I hide a smile. Peeta and his words have reminded people in the Capitol that we could die even though they've become attached to us, securing more donations to our cause from people hoping to keep us alive.

"One of us will die, Peeta."

There is silence in the cave as I am sure there is in the Capitol and in the Districts as people are watching.

"If one of us is to be a Victor, the other has to die," I say , looking up from where I have been dishing out the five course meal.

"That's the plan," Peeta says quietly. "Of of us will die."

"You think you know how this will end, do you?" I say angrily.

"I've loved you for a long time. What makes you think I would want to live if you aren't" Peeta says loudly.

I toss aside the lid that was covering a pot of boiled artichoke hearts. "You may have confessed a 10 year crush but that doesn't make my feelings less valid."

There is no silence as Peeta stumbles to me and crushes our lips together passionately. I have admitted that I love him. I feel myself crumbling as the walls I carefully constructed come tumbling down. I can almost hear the roar of it in my ear as Peeta kisses me.

When we finally run out of breath and are breathing rapidly I realize it is my heartbeat that I can hear.

"I've lost my father and my mother," I tell Peeta. He seems to comprehend the message I am sending him. "Life isn't always fair."

My message is a simple one. People die. Surviving is harder. I have spent my whole life surviving and I have no desire to spend the rest of my life having nightmares about losing Peeta whether by my own hand or another Tributes.

"How about we stick together until the very end and then we'll worry about it?" Peeta suggests.

I agree because what other option is there?

We eat our meal and save the rest for later. I contemplate the necessity of a bow and decide to try carving one tomorrow.

That night Peeta lays down first while I watch until my eyes won't stay open. During his turn to guard, he plays with my hair as I sleep. I don't admit it but I like it. I even struggle to stay awake a few moments longer to relish the feeling. I haven't felt this secure since before my father died. The last thought I remember before drifting to sleep was how glad I am to be on a team.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

When I wake up the next day, I set to work on Peeta's leg with the medical kit. It still looks bad but since I have staved off infection it will probably heal without any major complications. If Peeta wins then surely the Capitol's medical teams can clean it out and make it heal right with the proper tools. All I have to do is keep it clean and dressed and try not to let Peeta over exert himself.

For breakfast we eat the other half of our meal from last night's parachute and drink the last of the water. I set out around what I determine to be noon to fetch more water and food. I gather water from the stream first and drop it by the cave so that Peeta can get it purifying. Then I gather some wood for me to try carving with. I drop that by the cave along with a bunch of vines and moss and pine needles. Peeta is going to make us a bed of moss and pine needles while I try the fishing rod.

I am not nearly as good at fishing as I am at hunting. I saved a bite of meat from our breakfast for bait but the fish won't take it. It takes me nearly an hour to dig up a worm and to find a place in the stream where I can get the fish to bite. By the time I have a few fish it is mid afternoon and Peeta has been alone for a while. I come into the cave for a while to let Peeta take a nap before I go back out to cook the fish and to check my snare line.

Peeta is dreadfully tired. He is asleep almost instantly. I used my knife to start carving the wood I gathered into a curve. I splinter the first attempt and the second attempt doesn't work because there is a knot right where I need to carve. The third attempt seems to be going well. When Peeta wakes up, it is nearing dinner time. He offers to carve while I cook so I show him how to make an arrow and leave him carving.

I go far enough away from our camp to keep any Tributes from finding our cave should they come looking for the person who made the fire. I haven't heard any cannons today so I am feeling anxious while I cook the fish. I walk back by way of the stream so that I can find some rock that might be sharp enough to attach to a stick for a makeshift spear for Peeta. I find a few but I am unsure how I will manage to attach them to the spear.

When I get back to the cave I see that Peeta is much better than I am at using a knife. He has almost half a dozen arrows perfectly whittled the way I showed him. The area of the cave in which we slept last night is now covered in layers of pine and moss. The transformation is so great that I almost sigh upon seeing it because it feels like _our_ cave instead of just _a_ cave.

We eat our fish in silence. We aren't starving but neither of us is full. To keep our mind off of our stomachs, we tell each other stories while we carve. Peeta carves three more arrows as he tells me the story about how he discovered that he was good at icing the cakes. I, in turn, tell him the story about how I got Lady, Prim's goat. I have to change a few details to protect a few people back home but Peeta knows that I hunt so he seemed able to put two and two together to figure out the real story.

I manage to finish carving the bow length before it gets too dark to see. I set all of our stuff aside and put it all together so that it is easy to grab in an emergency. Peeta offers to take first shift since he had a nap earlier and I let him. I lay down and Peeta pulls the sleeping bag around me tightly. I lay for a while and can't fall asleep. I feel too much anxiety about the fact that no one has died today. The Gamemakers must be about to launch an attack on someone. I hope that Peeta and I have been entertaining enough today to warrant safety.

I push myself up to my elbows, the sleeping bag falling down to pool on the floor. I think Peeta and I need to ensure our safety since we have been rather boring today, holed up together in a cave and only sleeping and eating for the most part. Peeta looks at me questioningly to see what has caused me to raise up.

"Peeta, what if I am the one to die? What did you mean when you said that you wouldn't want to live?"

I can see the outline of Peeta's head drop down. I think he is drawing in the dirt on the floor with a stick.

"I was five years old when I first saw you. It was our first day of school. You were wearing a red plaid dress and your hair, well; it was in two braids instead of one."

He smiles briefly for a moment at the memory and then continues.

"My father pointed you out to me and told me the story about how he once loved your mother. I couldn't understand why anyone would choose someone to marry over my father because love was not something I witnessed in my parents' marriage. To me, my father was a kind and gentle man who came from good money and so a future with him was the best anyone could do and that was why my mother picked him. He told me your mom picked your dad because when he sang all the birds stopped to listen to him.

"I remember thinking 'What a stupid reason to choose to marry someone!' but it was later, in music class, when you sang the Valley Song that I understood."

I know that Peeta is telling the truth because I can recall a red dress that I had handed down to Prim and my father did sing so well that birds would listen.

"Hearing you sing that day…well, I have never heard anyone sing so beautifully. I may have only been five but I already had an eye for beautiful things and you were the most beautiful girl that I had ever seen. I knew that I would try anything to be able to have you."

Peeta sighs. "You are still the most beautiful girl that I have ever seen and I still will do anything to have you but I never got up the courage to do it the right way. I've lived my whole life hanging on to the hope that someday you might love me back that I could never live in a world where that hope does not exist. My life's purpose has been to obtain you. If I ever get a taste of what it's like to have you then there will never be happiness for me without you."

I swallow and bury my face in his shoulder. I need just one moment without the cameras in my face.

Peeta is patient with me. If I had spent 10 years feeling the way he says he does then I would be dying for answers. He strokes my hair and pulls me close. He doesn't say anything.

I consider the butterflies that I feel whenever I think of Peeta. I think of the hunger that feels like fire when he touches me. I have always been against love because I've seen what it does to people. I know firsthand the devastation that it can cause. I have never done anything without thinking it through and being practical. If I afforded myself even a moment of bliss it might have meant that my family wouldn't eat that night.

Without thinking, I raise my chin to Peeta and softly brush my lips against his. I pull back and look at him questioningly. He smiles.

"Are you meaning to ask me permission? After loving you for as long as I have, I'm starving. I will take anything you give me and be satisfied."

I laugh a little at his metaphor. I rub the palm of my hand across his cheek and really look him in the eyes.

"How's your wound feeling right now?"

A crinkle appears on Peeta's forehead at the subject change. "It doesn't feel good but it isn't causes me any more pain. It seems to have gotten better than it was -"

I don't let him finish his thought. I've pulled him over to me, claiming his lips at the same time. Peeta is surprised but he doesn't back away from me. I weave my fingers through his wavy blonde hair and push down on his neck gently as I move to lay back down. Peeta realizes what I am doing and cradles my head with his hand so that I am laying on his hand instead of the hard floor. His other hand is on my waist and I feel the flames starting up again. I have never been one to need physical affection from anyone but I feel like I can never get enough of Peeta touching me.

I grip a fist of Peeta's shirt and pull him down so that our bodies are touching everywhere that it is possible to touch. I arch into him and he moans in my ear. The sound in my ear heats up parts of me that I have never used before. I start to lose my breath and Peeta gives my lips a break to trail kisses down my neck.

"I want this with you Peeta. All of it."

Peeta's lips halt. He slowly leans away to look me in the eyes. "Katniss….I want you too but you don't have to….I mean, I am satisfied with just staring at you for the rest of my life."

I shake my head. I want the experience of losing myself with Peeta. If I die or if he dies, we'll never get the chance. I have never given myself the luxury of _feeling_ and maybe with all of Panem watching is not the right time to do so but I am far too caught up in the moment. It's not even about achieving sponsorships anymore. This is genuine.

Peeta looks deep into my eyes. I am not sure what is he searching for but he must find it because he attacks my lips. He reaches down and picks up the sleeping bag. He fumbles with the zipper while still trying to kiss me. I break away with a laugh and yank the zipper down making the bag into a large blanket.

"Should we give Panem a disclaimer?" Peeta asks me.

"Yeah, this is the last responsible thought I am having tonight. Prim, cover your ears and eyes." I say before tugging down Peeta's jacket.

"You think they'll broadcast this?" Peeta whispers as he starts taking off my jacket.

"What else is going on that is interesting? If no one is dying then I'm sure this is the most interesting thing happening," I reply as I toss my jacket aside.

Peeta reaches behind me and lays his jacket down on the floor for me and the intensity of what I feel for him grows at the sight of him being so thoughtful at such a time like this.

With the sleeping bag secured over us, I reach to take off Peeta's shirt. I toss it outside the sleeping bag so that the cameras will hopefully censor us out. It's probably too dark in here to get a decent shot but I am sure they are trying to pick up our conversation at least.

With Peeta's lip on mine again, I lose myself in him once again. I am no longer thinking of Prim watching us or of what my mother will think or even Gale. I am a normal girl and I am dead set on having this experience.

"Katniss," Peeta murmurs. "I know you want this experience but I think there's one thing I need from you before I can do this."

"What?" I huff as lean up to kiss him."

"I want this and I am willing to share this with you but there's only one thing that I need before I can enjoy this experience."

A thunk outside the cave indicates a parachute has landed.

Since neither one of us is indecent, Peeta throws off the sleeping bag and lets me up to go slither through the rocks guarding the cave door since I have forbade him from doing it until his legs heals some more.

I bring the gift inside. It is a basket which holds a loaf of bread from District 12. It is the type of bread we use back home for toasting ceremonies. Peeta wants to marry me.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

I silently hand the basket to Peeta and slide down the wall of the cave. Marriage. The proof to the world that you love someone. All the heat that Peeta supplied in me has vanished. Coming to grips with the fact that I care about him is difficult for me because I never planned to feel this way. With my heart beating out its say in the matter, it is difficult to ignore. Marriage, though. Marriage is something that the mind wants. Not the heart. The heart wants physical touch and verbal confirmations. The mind wants other people to know what goes on behind closed doors by lining up at the Justice Building to sign the papers that reassign your housing together.

Peeta has slid his arm around me and rested his chin on my shoulder. What must Gale be thinking. I ranted for the past 5 years about no good ever coming for marriage. If I had been more open minded about taking a husband, he might've made a move on me before now.

The world is watching. Funny how the world watching didn't bother me moments ago underneath the sleeping bag while I tugged Peeta's shirt off. Marriage seems more intimate to me and just thinking about it has my insides crawling.

"Katniss, I have loved you since that first day of school. I will spend the rest of my life doing anything and everything to fight for you. All I really want to do is see you happy but you deserve more than just some guy in cave because he was there. You deserve to know that the guy your with will be yours now and forever."

I swallow and my breathing is quickening. Peeta smiles at me, mistaking my vital signs for excitement. The smile washes off his face as I stick my head between my knees and cover my head with my hands.

"Breathe, Katniss," Peeta says as he rubs his hands over my back. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just meant that I need to prove myself to you first. That's all."

"That's all?" I gasp out. "Peeta marriage is a big step. Especially for me."

Confusion knits Peeta's brow together. "I didn't say anything about you, Katniss. I just said that _I_ need to prove myself to you."

Reaching in the basket, Peeta pulls out only one loaf of toasting bread. Now it is I who am confused.

I watch as Peeta coaxes the tiniest fire out if the scrapes of wood left behind from our bow carving activites. As soon as he has a flame he spits the loaf on a stick and begins toasting the bread.

"Katniss, I would never expect you to have to marry me. I would never force you to do something you don't want. I simply intended to toast to you."

Now it is making sense. Peeta, ever the gentleman, is going to marry me without me marrying him back. This boy, this _man_ in front of me is the kindest man I have ever known. If I were not so jaded in the ways of the world, this would be the type of husband for me. Not Gale. Gale completed me but not in the way a husband should. No. Peeta would be the right choice. His calm would quiet my fire and I feel one of my walls crack a little at this revelation.

Peeta turns the bread over. There is no doubt in my mind whatsoever that Peeta is genuine in his efforts. This is NOT for the cameras.

Without thinking I stand up slowly and kneel next to Peeta. He smiles at me as he turn the bread some more. When I place my shaky hand over his he jerks his head to look at me. I can see the question in his eyes.

I suck in a breath and I can feel the worms crawling in my gut as I loathe the conversation we are having.

"I'm not good. With words. I'm not a good person, either. That you would…If you can…. You're the kindest man I know. Too kind. You're too good for me and I know I could never do any better. Not even if I tried. If I were a normal girl, you'd be the man I was looking for. That's probably not what you want to hear right now but it's true. Marriage was never something that I wanted from life."

The bread is toasted and Peeta stamps out the fire quickly before it can grow and alert the other Tributes to our whereabouts.

I take in another shaky breath. "I can't deny how I feel. I have never felt this for anyone before and I want to feel like this for the rest of my life."

I reach over to the bread and I take hold of one end while Peeta continues to hold the other. I pull and he pulls. We break the bread in two pieces. Without taking his eyes off of me, Peeta hold the bread to me and I breathe deeply before I take a small bite of the bread. While I chew I notice small tear escape Peeta's blue eye and I reach out to catch it. I hold my half of the bread up to him and he takes his bite. He hasn't really had time to chew before I laugh. It's a nervous laugh and it sounds awkward to my ears but Peeta breaks into a full out grin.

Peeta swallows his bread just in time to receive my lips as I've pushed forward to kiss him.

"I can't. Believe. You. Married. Me," Peeta says in between kissing me. I smile and hold him to me, momentarily elated that he is mine. All mine.

Peeta's shirt is still off and my eye catches on something shiny. I run my hand over Peeta's neck and find a necklace.

"That's my token," Peeta gasps.

I run my finger over the golden chain and note how smooth the metal feels. This would feed my family for at least a month. Peeta reaches behind his neck to undo the clasp. He puts the necklace around my neck and fastens it.

"Now you have something of mine to show people," Peeta says softly and the glow emanating from him engulfs me. I allow him to push me back against our moss. I land a little hard but it doesn't bother me. Peeta is being possessive in the way we kisses me and they way that he grips my thigh as he places his leg between mine. I arch into him as he pushes up my tunic to run his hand under the small of my back. I can't help but moan as he brings our fronts into contact with each other. I don't even have time to feel mortified that everyone watching has just heard me moan for Peeta. All I can care about right now is that Peeta and I enjoy our wedding night.

I gasp as his tongue slides along my neck as he sucks his way down to my collar. If I thought I had been on fire before I was wrong. Peeta presses kisses into my collar and the feeling shoots straight down to my core. I curl my fingers into the hair at the nape of Peeta's neck and bring him closer. With my other hand I trace my hand over the curves of Peeta's back. Even though he's lost some weight, he still has enough muscle to impress me.

Peeta shivers under my touch. He reaches for the sleeping bag and pulls it over us. I take advantage of the cover to reach for the button on Peeta's pants while he holds the sleeping bag securely around us.

As soon as I've shimmied his pants down, Peeta has begun pulling my tunic up. I lean up on my elbows to give him a hand since he is still holding the sleeping bag.

When my shirt is off, Peeta looks me in the eyes, as if to be certain that I want this. I smile at him and nod.

When I wake up I feel warm, unlike yesterday when I woke up cold and on a hard cave floor. Peeta's arm is around my front and I can feel his warm breath on my neck. I reach a hand up and finger the chain that Peeta secured on me last night and I replay the events that occurred over and over again.

"It was my grandmother's," Peeta says in my ear.

"You must have taken very good care of it," I say.

Peeta is silent. He tightens his hold on me and kisses my neck.

We were very careless last night. I went against everything I believe. I broke all of my rule. I fell in love. I got married. I had sex. I fell asleep and did not keep watch for danger. I did something intimate in front of the nation. In front of Prim. I feel the mortification setting in. My cheeks are flaming.

"Any regrets?"

I turn my head to look at him. I am silent for a moment.

"We weren't very responsible in anything we did last night," I answer.

Peeta shakes his head."We married before we engaged in any extracurricular activities. That was very responsible of us."

I sigh, "But we still gave Panem a show and we fell asleep. We could have been killed."

"We'll be good from now on," Peeta agrees solemnly.

"It makes it hard," I say.

In confusion, Peeta asks, "Makes what hard?"

"Being good," I answer with a blush.

Kisses are pressed into my face as Peeta leans over me. "Knowing what you could be having does make it difficult to refrain."

We eat the rest of our toasting bread for breakfast and then I set about securing some of the fishing line to the bow. It is extremely good line so seems to work well but I know that I won't be able to shoot further than a hundred yards at most.

While I gather our supplies into the pack so that it can be grabbed on the go, Peeta carves a long stick into a spear and attaches a rock to it so that he has a weapon.

Before I leave to try hunting, I look at Peeta's leg and am satisfied that it is healing as well as can be expected.

"Tomorrow we can get out of here, I think," I tell Peeta as I dress and bandage his leg.

Silence fills the cave. Peeta kisses me before he allows me to leave the cave. Neither one of us likes the idea of separating but we need food and water.

I fill our water containers and bring them back to the cave for Peeta and then I take off, using the stream to guide me. Since I like climbing upstream better than going downhill with the current, I go to the north side of the arena. I am able to shoot the first rabbit I see but the arrow pierces the neck rather than the eye. I adjust the string a little and keep going. I spend nearly an hour traveling up stream before I realize that the trees are thinning. I head back in the direction that I came and encounter nothing. My snares are still set with no game in them. I clean the rabbit before giving it to Peeta who seems to think that I have enough game to last us a while but I think that a trip down stream will give us enough animal to afford us an extra day of hiding in the cave if we get stuck like we were the day before.

I have good luck and I find a bird that looks a bit like a turkey. I am able to shoot it through the head. I manage to coax a small fire out of some pine needles and some wood nearby so that I can cook the bird before bringing it by the cave. I am far enough away from camp that I if anyone comes to investigate the fire, I will be gone.

I have managed to wrap the bird up into some leaves and stuff it each of my pant pockets before I hear the voices.

I stand up with my bow and arrow at the ready but it is too late. The Careers are here and they have spotted me.

I take off sprinting in the opposite direction of the cave. I run until I can tell that the voices are getting closer. When I feel as if one of them will reach out and grab me, I pick the best climbing tree and shinny up it as fast as I can.

Cato and Clove from District 2 are shouting excitedly about who gets to kills me until the pretty girl from 1 points out that they can't even reach me.

Cato attempts to climb the tree after me. I climb up another 3 limbs before the limb he is on snaps and he plummets to the ground. Cursing, he demands that the pretty girl, whose name was Glimmer, shoot me. The bow she is using should me mine.

Her aim is not very good and the best she can do is gets an arrow stuck about five feet from me. I reach out and grab the arrow. When I wave it around I see her stomp her foot in the ground. I laugh but am cut short when Clove hurls a knife. It nicks my forehead and wedges itself high up in the tree limbs. I sink down onto the branch and hang on to the trunk as I try to access how badly my forehead is cut. By the blood rushing out of it I would say pretty bad but my mother always says that head wounds get the messiest.

The final verdict from the Careers is that they are staying the night at the base of the tree until I either come down climb, fall down, or die up here.

When the sky starts to darken I think of how Peeta is in our cave, alone, and worried. He knows I should have returned but has heard no cannon.

"Peeta," I whisper. "I hope Peeta has enough to eat. I know he really likes bread with nuts and raisins in it. I think it could be his favorite since we both know how much meaning that bread has."

In truth, I have no idea what kind of bread a baker's son would like but I say this to Haymitch in hopes that he will send some to Peeta. I know of no other way to get a message to him that I am alive. As an afterthought, I say, "But I have no idea why he likes Dandelions."

Those two items together should be cheap enough and useful enough to afford while sending a message to Peeta that I am alive enough to send him messages through Haymitch. I can only hope that he hasn't done anything rash like try to find me.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

I have been in this tree for about 4 hours by my count when the anthem plays. There were no cannons today but I think Panem might be expecting one soon. In truth, I am too. I have my bow and arrows but I won't be able to get a shot in the dark unless they light a fire and so far they haven't.

They received a parachute about an hour ago that had a few meat strips and crackers in it and I almost laughed at how unused to starving they were.

I rip a strip of my undershirt off and wrap it around my head like a bandanna to keep the infection out and the blood in but the wound is still trickling blood and the tree I'm in is has the wrong kind of leaves for healing.

I climb from branch to branch looking for the best on to sleep on. I have no rope or sleeping bag so I need the most secure branch that I can find. I have the bird that I shot so I eat as much as I can need to but save as much of it as I can.

The careers below me has decided to take turns keeping watch so I settle down to sleep as well. They have their sleeping bags and packs with them so they seem to be warm enough to not need a fire so I give up hoping for them to light one.

I look up at the sky and try to determine my strategy. I could wait until morning light and shoot the person on guard while everyone else sleeps. If I was able to do it quietly enough, they others might sleep through it long enough for me to get a second shot in. I only have three arrows and there are five careers down there. If they figure out that I have a bow they might be wise enough to run out of range or to take cover. With me up a tree it would be very easy for them to evade me.

I have the knife that Clove threw at me but I'm not secure enough in my throwing capabilities to deliver a death blow so I think it is wisest to keep the knife in reserve for protection.

As I am still trying to decide how to get all of the Careers with three arrows, I see a tiny silvery parachute. At first I think it must be something for the careers but then I notice it is drifting more towards me so I stand up and quietly wait for it to drop into my hands.

All it has in it is a dandelion. I sigh in relief. Peeta has sent me a flower. He must have understood my message.

"Haymitch," I mutter, "if you let anything happen to him I swear I'll help you drink enough liquor to drown out the world."

I fall asleep with the dandelion clutched tightly in my hand. I startle awake sometime later in the night to the sound of a cannon. It didn't sound like it was too close to me and it came from the opposite direction of Peeta so I relax a little. It is still dark but the moon is starting to fade away. Sit up in the tree and climb around to be behind the trunk so that I can pull out my bow and arrows to wait. It looks as though they changed shifts while I was sleeping and now the pretty girl from District 1 is slumped against the tree with her bow and arrows loose in her lap. I guess when you have strength in numbers you can afford to fall asleep like that while on watch.

When the air around me is light enough that I can see shapes, I start stretching quietly so remove the stiffness from my cold muscles. While I am doing this, I see a shape in the tree next to me that seems out of place. It wasn't there last night so I stare at it while trying to make it out. At first I think it could a bear or some sort of animal but it isn't shaped right. A few moments later and it is light enough for me to see the little girl from 11, asleep in a tree branch in the tree three over from me. She needs to get out of here soon because I don't want her to get caught in the crossfire. How did she even get up there to begin with? Wouldn't the Careers have caught her?

I quietly snap off a piece of bark and toss it at her. It misses. I snap another piece of bark off and toss it and it hits her in the belly. Her eyes snap open. I indicate my bow and arrows to her and she sits up. I point down at the Careers. She nods and smiles. I show her three arrows and then mime counting the Careers. She nods and then holds up three fingers, one at a time. Then she points at something over my head. I look to see what she could be talking about but I hear it before I see it. A bees' nest. No, that isn't a bee nest. That is a Tracker Jacker nest. I have seen a few of them in the woods back home and I stay away from them. I was stung once and I know the hallucinations are serious.

The little girl is motioning that I should drop it on the Careers but how will I do it without getting stung? She points to my waist and I pull the knife out. She nods 'yes'. I shoot the Careers that I can get, the other two run. Will they come back for me when they realize I'm out of arrows? If I try to drop the nest I might get stung first. On the other hand, the nest has the potential of getting all five careers.

I put my arrows back and sling my bow over my shoulder. I climb up over where the nest is and stretch myself to lie over two different branches so that I can use both my hands. I hold the part of the branch that needs to cut with one hand and begin sawing with the other. The Jackers are sleeping so they haven't yet figured out what I am doing but I know it is only a matter of moments until they do. I make three or four good, strong passes with the serrated part of the knife before one of them comes out the nest and stings me on the hand that is holding the branch. I can feel the wood splintering as I bite my lip and continue cutting. I get stung once more on the forearm as I deliver the final cut that send the nest crashing through the branches and onto the ground. It burst open about five feet from the circle of Careers and the hive swarms them.

I pull out my bow and send an arrow into the heart of the pretty girl from 1 and watch her fall over, dead as the rest of the Tributes are too busy running away to the lake. The big kid from 2, screams, "The lake!" and the hive follows them as the they run. I get stung a third time by a left-behind Tracker Jacker and I begin to see the world tilt sideways. I fall from the last branch and hit the ground. I crawl on my arms to reach the bow and arrows in the dead girls arms and I pry them from her fingers. Her body disintegrates as I touch it and I see her skeleton and blood. Her blood is on me and I fall on my face trying to back away from her. I feel another sting on my neck and crash into tree after tree as I try to get away from the skeleton and the blood oozing from it.

I see shiny butterflies flittering around ahead of me and I head towards them but when I get close enough the ground explodes as if detonated by a bomb. I try to stop moving but I fall to the ground and the butterflies land on me. I thrash around to keep them off of me but more and more of them land and soon I can't breathe because they are all over me. I struggle to breathe as blackness closes over me.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

When I come to, the first thing I'm aware of is that I'm lying on my arm and it's asleep. The pin and needle feeling in my arm forces me to roll over but before I can, a small voice from behind me startles me.

"Wait just a second. I'm not done yet."

I roll away as fast as my body will allow me which isn't very fast. I must look ridiculous to all of Panem with my arm hanging limply by my side as I wait for the feeling to return to it.

The little girl from 11 has some sort of goo on the tips of her fingers and she is reaching out to me. I can feel a slight coldness on the back of my neck where she must have been putting the goo.

"Rue?" I ask.

She nods her head and stands up. She walks behind me and continues to spread the stuff on my neck.

Seeing the look on my face, Rue begins to explain.

"You've been out for three days because of the Tracker Jacker venom. I've been treating your wounds but we need to dig the stingers out now that you're awake. I couldn't get them until now. You thrashed around too much."

I can't help but smile a little at her.

I cough. "Who else….while I was out?"

"The only ones left are the boy from 1, both from 2, the boy from 3, the girl from 5, Thresh and I from 11 and you and Peeta from 12."

My heart swells at hearing that Peeta is still alive.

"Why?" I ask.

She pauses in her motions for a moment. She rubs the rest of the goo into the last of my stings and then sits down in front of me.

"It was the right thing to do," Rue says simply, as if it were obvious.

She holds out her hand to help me stand up and it is done. We are allies.

Apparently Rue was able to get away from the Tracker Jackers and avoided getting stung. When the coast was clear, she followed my path and found me. She pulled me into a cluster of bushes and hid me from other Tributes. She went out and got the leaves for my stings and kept a look out for trouble. It's been pretty quiet, she said, since the incident.

We start to hike back to the cave because I'm unsure where else to start looking for Peeta. Rue hasn't see or heard from him because she was afraid to leave me unguarded.

I look over at her as we walk and realize how small she is. She would have to be at least four inches shorter than Prim.

I do some hunting as we go since Rue had to eat the bird in my pocket while I was out. She was shy to admit it but I just shrugged. "It would have spoiled by now anyway," I tell her.

The bow and arrows I took from District 1's female Tribute works exceptionally well. I take down another bird and a squirrel. It doesn't seem like enough to feed three people but Rue has picked some berries and roots while I have been hunting. She has a small pack that has some plastic wrap so she keeps the berries contained in it, leaving her hands free to help me with the game.

I hurry through cleaning the game so that I can get back to the cave. To Peeta. Rue seems to understand. She says nothing as I lead her through the river towards the cave. We fill up her water container and climb up the last few rocks between us and Peeta.

At first, I don't see him and I start to panic. Then I notice him huddled right by my feet, near the cave entrance instead of on the bed of pine needles and moss. He must have been trying to keep watch. Without a partner to take shifts, he must be running low on sleep.

I gently shake him awake only to leap backward as a knife comes flying at my face.

It only takes a second for Peeta to focus and realize that it is me. He launches himself at me while making sounds that are a cross between a laugh and a cry. I reach behind me and pull Rue inside the cave as Peeta's hands check my face, my hands, my neck, any part of me that he can reach. He is pressing kisses into my hair and murmuring nonsense.

"I'm okay, Peeta," I say as I try to sit down. Peeta refuses to let go of me so I end up falling down with Peeta on his knees, awkwardly trying to hug me.

Rue has sat herself down and is grinning ear to ear as she watches our exchange. No doubt the rest of the Tributes were unsure of our actual feelings. Rue seems to find Peeta and I entertaining.

When Peeta finally releases me, he is a constant stream of questions. I fill him in on what happened as I left the cave the last time and how I was treed by the Careers and how I got out of that mess. Rue adds her account of how she found me in the tree because she had been tracking the Careers. When she tells Peeta that she couldn't leave me alone to find him, he grabs her in a big hug and thanks her for being there for when she didn't have to. We all three know that by helping nurse me to health, she worsened her own odds.

Rue tells us all that she knows about the Careers and their camp. It seems that they gathered all the supplies and put it in a big mountain in the middle of the field by the Cornucopia. They leave one of themselves to guard it while the rest of them go Tribute hunting. Rue adds details about which weapons the Tributes are proficient at and which Tribute seems to have issues that are possible weaknesses.

As Rue talks, I light a small fire near the opening of the cave to cook the bird and squirrel. I feel confident that without a Rue to take care of them, the Careers wont fare the Tracker Jacker stings as well as I have. We divide it equally into three parts and eat until we've licked the bones clean. We save the roots and berries for the morning.

Peeta relates his past three days to us a s the sky begins to darken. I force Rue to lay down in our sleeping bag and I stroke her hair the way I use to do for Prim as Peeta talks.

He got worried when I didn't return in a reasonable amount of time but stayed put. It was past dark so he knew something had gone wrong but he hadn't heard a canon so he stayed put since his leg wasn't exactly easy to maneuver on. When he was just about to come after me, my bread and flower arrived.

"I recognized the significance of the bread at once. It's not uncommon bread but Haymitch would have sent a different type, a cheaper type. The flower reminded me of you because I distinctly remember you picking one that day after the bread incident. No way could Haymitch have known. He just isn't smart enough," Peeta and I laugh at Haymitch's expense and even Rue laughs and tells us that Haymitch sounds a little like one of her mentors by the name of Chaff. I have seen him and Haymitch passing bottles back and forth on the tv screen for years so we all laugh a little more before we get quiet.

Rue asks us for the story of the bread and so Peeta and I share it with her in front of all of Panem. Peeta tells about how he had already been in love with me for a long time and so he was very concerned about how my family and I were doing after my father's death. He even tells an anecdote about how great a guy my father was. I have to look away until Peeta moves on with the original story. He tells Rue that for a month I had been getting skinnier and that one night he mother had found me, weak from the exhaustion of trying to earn some money for my family, slouched against their apple tree behind the bakery. He says that he accidentally burned some bread and that when his mother found out, she ordered him to feed it to the pigs out back. I find my voice and tell Rue that he threw the bread to me, instead, and risked his mother ire at disobedience and was punished for not doing as she told him. I saw no need to publically humiliate his mother because there is a good chance that Peeta will be going home after this.

A smile crosses Rue's face as she thinks about our past. Her breathing evens out and soon she has fallen asleep so I scoot over to let Peeta lie down seeing as he has to be tired from nerves at wondering where I was for three days.

Peeta lies down but he doesn't sleep he just holds my hand. We watch the Capital seal appear in the sky by looking through a crack in the rocks.

Peeta and I don't talk much. He strokes my hand with his thumb until he finally falls asleep. I stand watch until the morning light begins to appear. Peeta is awake and allows me to lie down next to Rue. He brushes my hair away from my face and I feel myself drifting off. I think I hear Peeta tell me, "Never scare me like that again, my wife," but I can't be too sure.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The day is pretty boring by Hunger Games standards. I sleep while Peeta guards and Rue prepares the roots and berries for breakfast. When I wake we eat and discuss strategy. We all know that staying in the cave is pressing our luck so we don't mention it. We decide that camping near the Career camp is risky and yet it may be the smartest move we can make. We will have to be quiet while they are at camp but at least we will know when they come and go. They'll never suspect us to be staying near so near them. Then we can work on getting rid of the pile of their supplies.

Rue tells us about a patch of bushes that she stayed in while spying on the Careers and we decide to stay there. I get up and go hunt enough food to last a for a couple days just incase the Careers don't leave camp and give us a chance to get provisions. While I hunt, Peeta and Rue gather by the river near the cave. She showed him some berries to find and Rue and I work out a whistle to keep in check with each other. Her four note melody was what signaled the orchard workers in District 11 that the day's work was over. My four is similar but different so we would be able to tell the difference between the songs the Mockingjays sing. Peeta agrees to in visible distance of Rue so that he will be able to call for help with his leg if needed but his legs seems to be healed just fine aside from the stiffness and soreness or lack of use.

I hunt pretty hard and am rewarded with two more of the birds I shot before. Rue called them a Groosling and the last one was excellent. Very dark and greasy meat. I found it similar to the wild turkeys we have back home. I also am able to find a rabbit in my snares that is recent enough and hasn't been attacked by scavengers.

I find a fallen log to sit on as I clean and dress the game. I call out my four note melody to Rue and am rewarded five minutes later when I hear hers come echoing back to me. I light a fire and put a little bit greenery on it to allow other Tributes to see the fire better. We are leaving this location so if anyone is hunting us, this might help keep them off of our trail.

When I have cooked the game, I package up my stuff keep the bow out and at the ready just in case I come across something else, Tribute or animal. I call my song out and trek back down the river by the way I came.

When I reach camp Rue and Peeta are nowhere to be found but I see the plastic wrap with berries on it. I look closely at the berries because they look oddly the familiar. I am startled from my thoughts as I hear the cannon sound from directly behind me. I jerk myself around to face the noise and I hear myself shout, "Peeta!"

I rush to look for the body while calling out for Peeta and Rue. I see the red peeking out from behind a tree and I rush over to see Foxface from 5 dead. I relax instantly but then I feel an enormous wave of guilt wash over me as I realize that my first emotion what relief and not sadness. I hear noises from behind as someone comes crashing through the woods. I pull my bow and turn to fire. It is Peeta with Rue helping him along. I pull the right just in time as my arrow goes flying into a tree by Peeta's face.

I gasp at the close call and go running to Peeta. I hug him to me, reassured that he is okay and then grab Rue and yank her into our hug. We awkwardly stay that way for a brief moment before Rue and Peeta start babbling about hiding before District 5's killer comes back.

"No, she's your kill," I tell them.

"We haven't seen any other Tributes until now. We didn't do it. If you didn't do it," Peeta says frantically, "the District 1, 2, 3, or 11 did. We need to leave."

I point over to where the berries are laying. "Nightlock," I say. "One of you gathered Nightlock. They kill you instantly! Foxface here has some in here hands. See?"

Peeta goes ashen white and I help him to sit at the base of a tree. "I didn't mean to. They looked like the berries I was supposed to be picking."

Rue bends over Foxface and examines the berries as close as she can without touch them. She jogs over to the plastic sheet and bundles them up and jogs back. "I don't have any weapons so maybe these can be my defense. I can drop them and hope another Tribute finds it or something."

I nod and make sure that she has them bundled up well before she stores them in a pocket. We all sit at the base of the tree and eat one of the Groosling so that we'll have plenty of energy. We snuff out the fire and we all drink as much as we can from the water before filling and purifying the new water. We grab everything from the cave and follow Rue as she approaches the Careers camp in the route that she knows.

It takes us a few hours longer than I would've expected. Peeta needed frequent rests and he was quite loud so I kept trying to show him ways to be quiet but it seemed like everytime I fixed one of his problems, he found a new way to make noise. Rue shot me looks of sympathy and I tried to keep my head and not snap at him. Being rude to my…husband would not win us any sponsors.

Rue directs us into a thatch of shrubbery and bushes so thick that I am 100% positive that no one could see in to find us unless they heard us. Visually, this is the best hiding spot. We could see out but they couldn't see in.

It looks like the Careers were recovering from the Tracker Jackers but the stings did not look pretty. I wonder briefly if I look that frightful but it doesn't really matter what I look like.

We watch Distict 1's boy whose name is Marvel argue with District 2's boy, Cato. It looks like Cato is the leader but there is tension between Marvel and Cato over this. Clove, District 2's girl, is on Cato's side and District 3's boy, Trode, doesn't really care. He looks like me barely got in with the Careers and I wonder what made them take him. My guess is that their alliance will break up soon. They only four people left to find in the Arena are the three of us and Thresh. Rue has no clue on Thresh's whereabouts and has no knowledge of what his strategy might be.

The pile of bounty is lined up in front of the Cornucopia like Rue said. All around it are holes of dug up earth. We all stare at it curiously and try to figure it out.

The Careers seems to sit around the fire as the sun goes down and eat. I wonder if Cato and Clove will kill Marvel and Trode in their sleep.

We all watch the seal appear in the sky and then we see Foxface. Peeta and I look away. Me because I still feel guilty about my reaction and Peeta because he was the reason she died. I silently pull out the sleeping bag and lay it down. I direct Peeta into it because the walk here took more energy from him than the rest of us. I am able to squeeze Rue into the bag next to him and I see a faint smile cross both their faces as they snuggle into a comfortable sleeping position. I sit with my back to the only tree in our alcove and urge Peeta and Rue to lay their heads in my lap for comfort. I try to let Peeta know with my eyes to not feel guilty and I think he understands what I am trying to say but he doesn't seem to agree. I notice a tear roll down his cheek when he thinks I have looked away.

I keep my bow and arrows within arm's reach as I watch the Careers through the bushes. They go to sleep making Trode look out. I figure Cato is worried that Marvel might try something and Trode seems to simply be trying to use the Careers as a means of protection for as long as he can. He doesn't seem very gutsy to me so I doubt he will do anything while on watch.

During my shift I hatch a plan for the morning. As long as the Careers have food, they will be comfortable. If I can cause a distraction to draw them away from camp then I can get rid of the food and extra weapons so that they will be on level ground with my alliance.

I finger the chain around my neck and look at Peeta. I can't help but wonder if maybe I let my body control my decisions. They Games change you, this I already knew, but I have to wonder if maybe I've become those girls that I used to judge. They would meet boys at the slag heap after school and completely be at his mercy when it came to their emotions. I know that I do feel something for Peeta and I know it started before the Games. I spent so much time building up walls to protect myself, says Cinna, that it is hard to see clearly when it comes to matters of the heart. Cinna has become a pretty good friend to me and I am lucky to have him. I should have thanked him more.

I whisper the words so softly that I can barely hear it myself. "Cinna, thank you so much for your guidance. I wish we could have a conversation right now."

While speaking I gestured to the chain Peeta had given me.

"Haymitch, I could really use something to destroy the Career's camp with if we can spare it."

No parachute drops down immediately so I settle in more comfortably. My legs are going to sleep so I carefully angle Peeta and Rue's head on the floor to sleep.

Just as I feel like I can't stay awake any more, a parachute drops. Haymitch must've been up all night getting the rest of the sponsorships needed for it to take some time after my request to send a parachute. District 3 has been asleep on his watch for what I just to be about 4 hours.

Inside the parachute are two items. One is a simple wooden carved trinket. It is a wedding gift. In 12 we don't have money but usually to acknowledge a daughter leaving the home, a father will carve something out of wood to symbolize the old home she came from and the new home she was now a part of. I have no father and so looking at the trinket I know that Haymitch picked it out himself. It is a figurine of a bird. It is a Mockingjay.

The other item is more useful. It is some clear fluid that is strongly acidic smelling. Clearly I am meant to set blow up the supplies but without a match it will take time.

I shake Rue awake knowing that Peeta needs a little more sleep than I do. I hand her a Groosling leg from the second bird and trade her spots. I can tell that the sun will be rising soon so I settle down into Peeta's side and fall to sleep hoping that tomorrow I can figure how to safely set fire to the supplies, ending the Careers reign.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

I awake to the sun shining in my eyes from directly above. It must be noon which would mean that I slept for about 6 hours or so. I feel refreshed as I sit up in the sleeping bag to find Peeta and Rue have divided up some our food. Rue eats very little as I made her eat when she took over the watch. Peeta and I tuck in to our portions and I show them the parachute that I got from Haymitch.

"That's a cute little bird," Rue remarks as she looks it over. She even rubs the smooth wood against her cheek.

I smile at seeing her enjoy the bird. "It's a wedding gift," Peeta tells her. I blush at his words.

"See, in District 12 we have little money so fathers would carve something out of wood to give to their daughters when they get married and leave the family home. It's a relic for them to keep to ward off homesickness."

Rue smiles so big at the sweetness of such gestures. "It gets passed down to the next daughter upon death."

"So you will get one from your mother that her father gave her when she married and you will give this bird," she gestures to the gift in her hand, "to your daughter someday?"

I shrug not wanting to announce in front of Panem that I have no intentions of ever having children. Instead I say, "My father did not approve of my mother getting married to my father. She was lucky to leave her father's house with the clothes on her back and what she could carry."

I explain to Rue how the dress I wore to the Reaping was one of the few possessions my mother stilled owned from the days before she married my father.I tell her of how my father was a poor coal miner and that my mother was a merchant's daughter. She fell in love with my father and they married for love.

"Did you know that your mother was supposed to marry my father?" Peeta says while centering his attention on me.

My head shakes side to side.

"They dated for a while. My father was ready to ask her to marry him when she met your father. I think it may have broke it heart to allow her to marry your father. He said he knew he was a goner when your mother heard your father sing."

"Really?" Rue asks with excessive interest. I am sure that the entire Hunger Games broadcast is being devoted to us at the moment.

"Really," Peeta tells her. "My father said that when Katniss' father sang, even the birds stopped to listen. At least that is what he said when I asked him why someone would pass him up for a coalminer."

"It's true," I say. "The birds really did stop to listen to him sing."

Peeta leans over to whisper in Rue's ear but he says it loudly enough for the cameras and I to pick up as well. "It's true for Katniss too."

I let out an indignant huff but continue to listen as Peeta tells Rue conspiratorially, "Our first day of school my father pointed her out to me. He told me the story of how he had wanted to marry Katniss' mother and of how her father won her heart with his voice. I was curious because my father was the best man in the world, how could anyone pass him up? I kept an eye on Katniss all day. During music assembly she volunteered to sing the Valley Song and outside the window, bird perched in the trees just to hear her sing. I knew then, that like my father before me, I was a goner for an Everdeen girl."

Rue smiles and begs Peeta to tell her more but I blush and look away. Rue hands me my Mockingjay carving back and I turn it over in my hands just in case it might contain a clue. I find only smooth surfaces. I can almost hear Haymitch growling in my ear to go on and say it. He sent me that gift with a purpose and I know what it is.

I take a deep breath. "Haymitch has been more than a mentor to me," I tell Rue. "After my Games he was there to help me…adjust… to life again. My father died when I was 11 so Haymitch sending me this gift is his way of telling me that he views me as a daughter."

I look down at my lap, feeling the heat rolling off my face. "I hope he doesn't kill me if I make it out of here," I say as I look up and give Peeta and Rue a shy smile. I hope they don't call me out on my acting. Rue doesn't seem to notice but Peeta puts an arm around my shoulder and squeezes. He kisses my forehead and hold up the acid substance that I assume is flammable.

Rue is the one who comes up with our plan. She agrees that our best course of action if for us to draw the attention of the careers away from camp by lighting fires. With four of them allied together they will have plenty of manpower to hunt after a stray Tribute. They don't know that there are three of us working together. At most they suspect Peeta and I to be allied but they would still assume Rue to be on her own since they never saw her before I dropped the Tracker Jacker nest.

Peeta and Rue will be stationed in the trees far away from here. They will have a series of fires ready to light. I will be here with my bow and arrows. When the Careers leave, I will blow up the supplies.

"Can you light a fire quickly?" Rue asks me.

The truth is that I can light a fire but it takes me some time. I am no where near as fast as Peeta. We reevaluate the plan to leave Peeta here with me so that I he can help me start a fire. We plan to throw the bottle of flammable liquid into the supplies. When I launch my flaming arrow directly into that bottle amid the supplies, it will blow up the whole mound of food and weapons.

Rue, meanwhile, is fast and lithe. She will race through the trees lighting the fires at the right time before running back to camp. We wait for the Careers to step out leaving behind Clove who is so upset at being made to play watch guard that she takes on in the opposite direction as soon as the boys have left to inspect the grassy area where Thresh was last sighted.

Rue and I leave Peeta behind with our unneeded items before we quickly make our way back through the woods. When we reach a place that is far enough away from our current camp but still close enough to camp. We want to know the time it takes to get to each of the fire from camp and from fire to fire. This will help us know how long the careers will take to reach the fire and how long it will take Rue to make it make from each fire.

We take our time at the first fire. We make sure to leave what looks like clues of a camp. We make one spot look like a bed and another look like someone was trying to make a weapon. We deem it worthy and we move on. Neither of us talks much. I am able to shoot some sort of a small creature that looks like a chipmunk but much larger. I think meat will be decent enough to I hang it on my belt for later. When we reach a spot that looks good for the next fire I quickly calculate the distance in my head. I am startled to hear a cry from Rue.

"It's okay," she winces. "I just tripped and scraped my knee.

Her pant leg is now torn and there is blood seaping out. I rush over to sit her down on a fallen log and I grab a leaf from a nearby tree. I try to wipe some of the blood off. The blood drip off the lead and stains the dirt.

"Wait," Rue says. She grabs the leaf and spreads the blood around on the ground making the scene look gruesome. She smears some of the blood on her knee on the end of a pointy stick she breaks off of the log she sits perched on. I can't help but feel a small grin cross my face at her genius.

We build the pyre and add more greenery to this one than we did to the last one.

Our final fire is built closer to our camp than the other two to ensure Rue safety. After lighting the last fire she won't have far to go before she finds Peeta and I. That way we can face the Careers together after the supplies are destroyed.

Rue and I add three times the greenery to this fire and make sure to leave out some items to start the fire with.

She hugs me goodbye with more strength than I knew she had and I watch her leave. I race back to camp, slowing down and becoming more quiet in case they have returned.

I see no Careers in sight as I approach our campsite of bushes. Peeta appears to be dozing off as I shrug my way into the circle of bushes. I wake Peeta and he begins working over the sticks and rocks I brought him for fire starting. Rue was to start the fire when I made it back to camp. We decided if the Careers were still gone that they would still come running when they saw the smoke. If they had returned to camp then they would approach from our direction. Since the Careers are still missing, I tell Peeta that as soon as we see the fire, we need to begin.

I keep my eyes on the tree line up the mountain and after only a few moment, smoke is visible. Peeta and I approach the edge of the tree line and he begins working on the fire. I take an arrow and dose the end of it in the liquid Haymitch sent up and I hold it as far away from Peeta's work as possible.

When a tiny flame erupts from his work, I motion for Peeta to stand back. The arrow roars with flame the moment it gets within inches of the fire. Peeta aims and hurls the rest of the bottle into the supplies. It rolls of a large crate and ends up on the ground at the edge of the pile. Only one fourth of the bottle is visible through the backpack it rolled behind but I step out of the tree line and aim anyway.

The heat from the arrow is making my hand uncomfortably hot. Focusing has never been this difficult. I shoot and the arrow pierces the backpack. At first nothing happens. I look backwards to where Peeta stands at the tree line and to see him shrug at me. Then, it happens.

A loud boom is heard so thoroughly that it shakes me heart loose. I am flung backwards ten feet and I feel my head strike a tree. Peeta too is on the ground. At first I think that the Gamemakers have unleashed an earthquake on us but then I see it is the supplies that are blowing up. None of it makes sense. I feel too dizzy and nauseated to do more than watch. Peeta crawls on his elbows over to me and covers my head as the explosion is sending bits of debris flying everywhere.

"They've dug up the explosives that were in the plates and rewired them to guard the supplies! District 3!" Peeta shouts in my ear as he holds me safe under his arm from the last few stay explosions. I hardly hear him through the ringing in my head. I am confused. My vision is blurry and I have a hard time staying awake. Peeta lifts me up and staggers with me into the clump of bushes. He shoves our way in quickly. I feel a scrape open up on my face as the bushes try to block me out as Peeta tries to shove me in.

The bush gives way and we tumble to the ground of our safe haven just barely moments before Peeta motions to me to be quiet. I assume to Careers have returned and allow my eyes to close. My shoulder is shook roughly and my eyes fly open. Peeta's face is fierce. He points to his head then mine. Head wound. Right. I can't fall asleep because I may not wake up from it.

I turn my head to the side to peek out of the bushes. It seems that only Clove has returned so far. She is looking around at the supplies with desperation on her face. I watch her panic as she looks around to see who was responsible for the explosion. She is unable to see us and she takes off running to the trees that border the grasses.

I crane my neck to see the sky, looking for smoke. I try to sit up in alarm. Peeta tries to urge me back down but I point at the sky. Realization dawns on him after moment or two and he stands up to look over the bushes. He sits back down and says something. It looks like he says "Two" but I can't be sure. I point to my ear and Peeta holds up two fingers. I gulp. Rue.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Rue. I cannot think of anything except for my tiny ally with the dark skin and shy eyes. I head throbs as I sit up and stumble out of the bushes. Peeta grabs our stuff and loads it onto his back as he follows me. We stop immediately in our steps as we hear a crashing sound coming through the woods in a straight line from the second fire.

Upon reaching the scene, Cato goes bezerk. He pulls his hair, beats the ground and screams. He even throws his sword at a tree. Had I been in good enough health I would have pulled an arrow and shot him but the world was tilting on it axis and Peeta is trying his best to support me as we stumble along. I pause for a moment as the floor rushes up to meet me. I glance back just in time to see Cato and Marvel yelling at Trode. The last thing I see from the seen is Cato snapping the neck of the boy from 3.

His cannon goes off as Peeta and I use Cato and Marvel screaming as an cover for our footsteps. I lunge forward out of Peeta's grasp as I rush to the third fire, hoping that I find Rue there perhaps having trouble getting it lit but the pyre is still untouched. I see the blood is still on the ground and that nothing has been touched so I keep running to the second fire, the smoke of which is still lingering in the sky. Maybe Rue got behind on time and hid in a tree to avoid getting caught.

The camp scene of the second fire is a different story, though. There was clearly some sort a struggle. Branches are thrown around and logs that surround the fire are scattered. I look for any sign of Rue when I spot it. A mass of something large stood out in the distance, oddly out of place. It's a mesh net and in it is a captured Tribute. What scares me is that the Tribute does not thrash around to get loose. It is almost as if the Tribute is dead.

I race over to Rue as fast as I can, still veering off into trees from the dizziness that my head wound is producing. I skid to a stop at her side and am relieved to see her eyes flutter open. I look around for Peeta and he finally reaches us and cuts away the netting. My relief dies as quickly as it came as I see the wound in Rue's stomach. I feel my heart drop through my stomach as I take in the wound that appears to go all the way through to her back. This is a fatal wound. There will be no recovering.

"No," I say. My head shakes back and forth and there is water dripping onto Rue's hand as it is clutched tightly in mine. Peeta lifts Rue's head up onto his lap as he kneels behind her and tries to make her comfortable.

"Who?" I choke out. Rue says something that I can't understand very well. I turn my head away and I am able to hear her this time as she says, "District 1."

"Marvel," Peeta says in my good ear. I don't even dwell on the fact that I've gone deaf in my left ear. Instead I stroke Rue's cheek and hold her hand.

"Sing to me," Rue says.

If it were any other circumstance, I would refuse. If someone's life wasn't about to expire, I would refuse. I cannot refuse Rue. So, I sing.

In the meadow, a soft green pillow….

Peeta has tears running down his face as I sing to Rue. Her eyes flutter shut and her breathing is very shallow. I want to close my eyes to avoid seeing her die but I force my eyes open so that I am here for Rue every last second. I am almost startled out of my peacefulness when the cannon sounds. I continue singing the song not wanting to be disrespectful by ending the song too soon just because she is no longer listening.

Peeta gently lays her head back down and I fold her arms over her stomach wound. I take all of her supplies and anything on her that is useful. Soon the hovercraft will come for her body and all I can think of is how she will be taken from the Arena with no farewell only to be dumped into a box and shipped back to 11 to her brothers and sisters and mother and father.

"Stay with her," I bark to Peeta as I jump up. I don't even look at Peeta to see if he will. Suddenly what he said about wanting to stay himself in the Arena makes sense.

I rush to the nearest wildflowers that I can find and scoop a handful up. I grab as many as I can hold in my arms and run back. I can hear the warning sound of the mockingjay that signals the hovercraft's approach.

I place a flower behind Rue's ear and I hum a different song. It's a lullaby that my father used to sing but I've long forgotten the words. I was so little when he sang it for me.

Peeta, seeing what I was doing, takes a handful and helps me place flowers of Rue's body. I gather a nice bouquet up and places them in her grasp. As Peeta finishes with her flowers, I work the net off of her body meaning to use it later, hopefully on District 1.

I stand up, a few stay flowers falling out of the creases of my lap, and kisses my three fingers, giving Rue the goodbye salute from District 12. Peeta does as well.

"Your loss will always be felt, Rue, and never forgotten. May you find peace and rest."

Peeta grabs my hand and steers me away. We don't talk. We simply let our feet guide us back to our cave. Once inside, Peeta lays out the sleeping bag. I pull out the last of our food and we eat all that we have. I am sure to able to hunt tomorrow and I allow myself to eat my feelings. I have never been allowed this pleasure before. My last Games I was able to feed myself well and Haymitch has been able to provide for us so far. I am certain that a time will come in the next day or so, though, that the Gamemakers will through something at us.

Peeta pushes me down to sleep and wipes the cuts and scrapes on my body with a spare sock (courtesy of Rue) and some clean water. He strokes my hair and I fall asleep with tears running down my face. My last thought is whether or not I will lose us sponsors by showing this weakness.

I am startled away when darkness has taken over. I must have slept through the anthem last night. Not that I would have heard it very well anyway.

Seeing that I am awake, Peeta tells me, "District 1: Marvel. District 2 Cato and Clove. District 11: Thresh and then you and I."

I nod and sit up. Peeta lays down and is asleep within moments. I lean against the mouth of the cave and try to think of a plan. I don't want to harm Thresh. He has proved no harm to me and for Rue's sake I am hoping that someone else takes him. So I don't have to. I have to remind myself that for Peeta and I to live, he must die.

Marvel, Clove and Cato on the other hand, are my next targets. If I don't do something soon, the Gamemakers will get restless. A feast will be called soon and I would rather not wait until something supernatural weakens us.

If the Careers are still at their old camp, it will be easy for me to pick them off with my bow and arrows. Peeta and I are not in need of anything severe at the moment. We can ignore the feast and pick off the others as they fight at the Cornucopia. It seems like a foolproof plan. I can hide Peeta in the bushes and I take climb a tree. When they come into view, I shoot. By the time they find me, I'll have shot them all. Just like the last Games, I will pick them off until I win. The problem has been keeping Peeta safe.

Unfortunately the Gamemakers won't let me wait until Peeta gets some sleep before forcing us to move on. I smell smoke. Strongly. I look out of the cave and what I see terrifies me so greatly that I scream Peeta's name. It won't matter if another Tribute hears me or not. The forest fire that is rapidly approaching us will kill us first if we don't move fast.

Peeta startles awake as I grab our gear and my bow and arrows. "There's a fire! We have to run before it catches us! We'll burn alive in this cave!" Peeta grabs the sleeping bag and the knife and pushes me out the mouth of the cave. I see his eyes widen at the monstrous fire that is nearly to the back rocks of our cave when we finally get out of it.

Peeta is still unable to use his leg in its full range of motion. He stumbles after me and I grab his arm and pull him along. Truthfully I am still dizzy as well and am certain that I have a concussion from yesterday. I feel like vomiting and I am unsure if it is from the smoke that stings my eyes and lungs or if it is from the concussion or the paralyzing fear that shakes my body. I tug on Peeta even harder as the fire advances on us. I can feel the heat on my back. Peeta stumbles and we go down. I jump up only to fall again from disorientation. I feel as if the ground is up at my ears and when I go to reach Peeta's arm again, I strike at air.

I feel Peeta's hand in mine again and we take off down the hill towards the Cornucopia. Peeta seems to be walking better and we have put a little more distance between us and the fire when I hear a whizzing sound go by my right ears. The Gamemakers have started hurling fireballs at all now. I race even faster than I ever knew I could and am rewarded with tree branches scraping my face open and my shins feel like they might be bleeding from the rocks I've run into or the tree stumps that I hit.

I scream out as I feel one of the fireballs find purchase on the back of my calf. I jerk my bow around to my front in hopes of protecting it. If I survive, I won't survive long without a weapon. I hobble along with Peeta seeing the clearing in the distance that announces the Cornucopia. I start heading in the direction of which I know the lake to be but Peeta has come loose of my grasp in our struggles and he is heading in the shortest route possible to the Cornucopia from the nearest exit of the trees. I am only five feet away from him and I see the fireball as it hurtles through the air. Without thought, I lunge to Peeta and hope to push him out of the way but I underestimate how stout he is. He budges a little but not nearly enough. I shove with all my might and have not moved myself when the fireball hits my lower back. I am knocked to the ground and unable to move as Peeta screams and beats my back to put the fire out. My back is in so much pain that I moan in agony without any thought of getting up and moving on. Peeta is crouched down beside me talking but it's in the wrong ear. I cannot hear him. He is urging me up and I am only able to barely stand before I vomit on the ground.

Peeta is pulling me onto his back, piggy-back style. I haven't been carried this way since I was little. Not since before Prim was born and my father was still alive.

I vaguely see that the fire has stopped and the almost all of the woods appear to be burnt. Peeta takes up around the clearing by walking through the tree line. We approach the lake and Peeta lays me on my belly as gently as he can. I scan the area for Tributes but find none. I keep my eyes open and actively scanning for danger as Peeta and I drink our purified water. Peeta strips me down to my underclothes and eases me into the lake. The water has an instant cooling effect. I feel rather than see Peeta filling our bottles of water and rinsing himself in the water. The smoke still feels thick in my lungs and I struggle to cough it out. I hear Peeta beating the smoke out of our clothes and I drink in some of the lake water not caring if it has been purified or not.

We remain at the lake for about an hour just sitting in the water. I notice the sun starting to shine and I pull myself up out of the water only to flop back down again. Pulling my back out of the water hurt too badly.

"We need to get to safety," I croak to Peeta who nods his head.

"First, wanna try our luck at fishing?"

I agree and watch Peeta fish out a tiny morsel of Groosling in his pocket. He shrugs and admits that he saved a couple bites of his last meal just in case. He is able to hook a few fish and I feel proud that he is able to provide fish for us. He ties the fish to the belt on his pants and gathers my clothes. He raises his eye brow and I shake my head.

"Wait til my clothes are dry. They won't aggravate the burns as much that way."

I watch as Peeta tried loading himself up on gear, including my wet clothes. He manages to find a place for everything except for my bow. He hoists me out of the water and onto his back. I grip my bow in one hand and the quiver in the other.

I vomit water up before we've made it 100 yards. Peeta lets me hurl over the side of his back with soft comments on how he promises to take care of me. I feel like my head is going to split open from pain.

I don't notice or care about where Peeta is taking us. I hang on to my bow and try to watch out for Tributes but the lull of Peeta's steps pull me to lay my head to down on his back and fall asleep.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

When I awake it's to find that I've been unconscious for around 12 hours. I sit up gingerly. My back stretches so uncomfortably tight that it's all I can do not to cry on camera. Peeta, unsure where is safe to touch me, pats my knee while he fills me in on what I missed.

He carried us into the forest that hadn't been touched by the fire and found us some protection so he could let me sleep off some of the pain. He washed my back off and covered it in the leaves that Rue had used. He had found the correct leaf, thankfully and my back burns seems to be healing much faster than the burns I'd see back home heal. I guess the plants that Rue favored accelerated the healing process. They aren't a tree that I am familiar with from District 12.

No medicine has been sent so while Peeta catches a few hours of sleep, I plan how to get some food into us. It seems that my bow string got too hot in the fire yesterday. I took the string off the fishing pole to restring my bow but didn't get very far because pulling the string tight enough to string caused my back to feel like the skin would break open again. Instead, I medicated the back of my calf and watched Peeta sleep. He was nice enough not to mention Rue's face in the sky last night. He also glanced over the face that Thresh must have been found by either a Tribute or a Gamemaker. I feel like crying. It wasn't my fault but I feel like I owe it to Rue to root for her district partner.

3. That is the number of Tributes left until Peeta and I can go home. I sift my fingers through his hair. It's amazing that neither one of us has had a proper bath in over a week and yet his hair is still soft to the touch and clean feeling. I can almost feel the grease in my braid and my skin starts crawling for a bath. District 12 may not be the cleanest place in Panem but we do at least wash up regularly.

Peeta wakes up a few hours later and we are able to scavenge a few berries and some edible plants. It's not fulfilling and we are still hungry but it's the best that can be done. Haymitch must be planning something. After his stunt with the wedding present we should have money from Sponsors. Haymitch, the idiot that he is, offered himself back up to Snow on a silver platter. He admitted to Snow that I mean something to him. He has eluded Snow for years by not caring about anyone or anything. Now he has given Snow leverage. I hate him for this because I owe Haymitch for doing the only thing he could do for us, mentoring aside.

Peeta and I whisper to each other and spend the rest of our day resting. Peeta restrings my bow and I deem it as good a job as can be done but there isn't much I can do without having my back in shooting-shape.

Peeta tells me about eating stale bread for every meal growing up and how ironic it is that he still loves bread. In turn, I tell him about how I got Prim's goat by choosing one that might not live. Peeta is engrossed in hearing about how Prim and Mother healed Lady and nursed her back to health.

By nightfall, I am restless. The trumpets that come before an announcement are welcome. Claudius Templesmith's voice booms out from all around us.

"Attention Tributes. Welcome to the final five! You all deserve a reward and so you are invited to a feast at dawn. The feast will take place at the Cornucopia and will include a special gift for each of you. That is all."

Peeta looks at my back and sighs. I swallow. I can't shoot well with a burned back. I can shoot, though.

"Let's get going," I say to Peeta. I stand and brush the dirt off of me. I go to put my clothes on for the first time in a day.

"Are you crazy?" Peeta whispers furiously. He stands up quickly and grips the front of my shoulders, the only part that didn't get burned. I jerk my shoulders away from him and try to jerk my shirt over my head only to regret it. I stop my actions as a tear makes it's way down my cheek. I turn away from Peeta and gingerly try to slip my shirt on.

I hear Peeta sigh. His hand appears in front of me, the palm of it is facing me and the fingers of it are curling up, motioning for me to hand him my shirt.

Instead of relenting, I turn around and face him. He raises an eyebrow when I step closer to him. I reach toward his belt and in one motion pull the knife from the loop he had it secured in.

Peeta jumps back away from me with his hands up in surrender mode. I raise an eyebrow at him but say nothing. It hurts that he thought I stole his knife to hurt him with it. If I were to say something I couldn't ensure that voice wouldn't betray the pain I feel from his actions even though I know it was just a survival instinct.

I gather the front of my shirt in one hand and use the knife to slice a line down the front of the shirt. I cut a few more horizontal lines before I thread one arm through. Peeta doesn't ask if I want his help this time. Instead he simply take the other arm from me and stretches it so I can get my other arm in without having to pull the skin on my upper back trying to make it happen. Once I get the shirt on, I use the string I cut to tie the fronts of my shirt together.

"What do you think we're going to be able to do at the feast?" Peeta asks cautiously.

"I think I am going to find a good tree to climb and spend the night in it. When the sun comes up, I will be just waiting for one of the other three Tributes to show their face. I just need to be able to draw my bow back three times. If I can only get one or two shots, you'll have to be sure to protect me and or get the medicine that they are likely to send us."

With his fingers, Peeta strokes his chin and I notice that he hasn't grown any stubble since we've been here. Not that he normally seems to have any scruff on his face. Not that I'd ever noticed.

"I have a knife and I can throw somewhat decently." Peeta says all of this slowly, as if he is still trying to figure out his plan. "You could cover me while I ran to get our stuff. What if I got all the stuff and we ran? We can run with the stuff and bring the others to a place where we can ambush them."

"I can't get down from the tree fast enough to keep ahead of them and I'm not following behind them because that would make you bait."

Peeta looks as if he would like to argue the point but since it puts me in danger, he concedes.

"How about that be plan b?" I suggest this knowing that we won't use his plan.

"If Cato, Clove and Marvel have no more food or weapons because of the explosion, then they likely don't have as many sponsors. They must be weak and hungry. Cato is severely unhinged. The way he acted when he found out that Clove had left her post was crazy. I doubt if Clove wants to face him."

I remember how she took off and hide in the forest near the edge that bordered the tall grasses where Cato, Marvel and Trode were supposed to be. Smart. Then she could see him and evade his anger.

I see Peeta nod in agreement. "I suppose Cato and Marvel are about the only two we're likely to find at the feast."

"Clove will be watching from the edge of the forest. She probably watched us after the fire sent us to the lake. She must be injured or without a weapon if she didn't come after us."

This time Peeta shakes his head in disagreement. "She and Cato could be working together. It could be a ruse."

"She didn't see us after we blew up the supplies so why would she know that we saw her take off from Cato?"

"The same way we know she saw us by the lake." Peeta says.

"We're back where we started," I growl with frustration. "Let's go now and stake out a spot. We can watch and listen for the others. As soon as I see someone, I can maybe start trying to get a shot on them. If I can get one, we're one closer. That leaves it two on two. That's good odds."

"Your back Katniss….shoot a straight shot at the tree over there," Peeta waves at a tree about fifty yards away, "and if you can shoot it without falling out of a tree we'll do it your way."

I look around for the right tree to climb and make my way up. Reaching up over my head is agony. I'm lucky Peeta can't see me grimacing. I only climb up about twenty feet since this is only for a demonstration. I notch an arrow and pull back. A gasp escapes me as I feel my back pull in half. I aim quickly and let the arrow fly as quickly as I can ensure a good shot. My aim was off a full three inches but it still would have pierced a heart or brain. I don't care to hit the Tributes in the eye at this point. Any quick death will do.

I take my time climbing down. My upper back is on fire. I look at Peeta and note that he seems to have broken a sweat just watching me climb in pain. He carefully pulls up my shirt and tells me that I have started bleeding in a few places.

Before we head back to the Cornucopia, we gather some nuts, berries and leaves. Tons of leaves. Peeta chews them up a grinds them until he has a thick paste. He carefully plasters my back with these leaves and stuffs my pockets with more since I'll be up a tree by myself all night.

We divide up the possessions. Peeta keeps most of it with him since I couldn't care much with my back being what it is. I end up with the sleeping bag and Peeta ends up with my jacket since it's too rough for my sensitive back.

The walk back is a hunting trip ruined. If I had felt that my back could take a shot at an animal, I would have no luck since Peeta scares away anything that can see, smell or hear. I try everything I can to teach him how to tread easier but not much of it takes. I try not to let it set me on edge and I purposely slow our pace down so that I have a longer moment to notice any noise or motions from another Tribute who might be in our range. If Peeta alerts them to our presence then I need to be prepared.

We reach the last fifty yard of the forest just as the sun is starting it descent behind the mountains. We pick a spot just to the south of the lake. The Cornucopia is in full view and so is the lake. The range will be within distance for me to make a head shot. Picking my tree is tougher since I want to be on the very edge of the forest but not in view of anyone on the other side of the lake watching the tree line for Tributes.

I wind up picking a tree that has two branches decent enough to serve my purpose. One branch faces away from the lake where I can hide. The other one is perfect for archery. I'll just have to climb it before the sun rises. It's higher up that what a normal person would climb so I think once I get up there I will be hidden from the naked eye.

Peeta camps out a few trees away from me. He makes himself comfortable at the base of a tree and stares up at me on my tree branch. I have a few small rocks in my hand that I can toss at him if I need his attention. He will simply have to shake my tree to wake me up for my shift.

As use the rope to tie my waist to the branch below I see Peeta motion to his neck. My hand flies to my own neck and finds his token. I nod my head. I smile and hope he will understand my gesture. He smiles back and leans against his tree.

I fall asleep on my stomach looking at the ground below me, hoping that tomorrow the odds might be in our favor.


End file.
